Homophobe [Changlix]

[19]

✅Revised

"So, what do you want?"

Jisung sat on the bed at Chan's room looking at a clearly nervous Changbin. They had been there so many times and yet this seemed so diferent, as if they didn't know each other.

"Firstly I want you to know that even though I prepared this mother fucking speech I'll probably still fuck up.", Jisung let out a small chuckle, not being able to hold back for the shaking guy in front of him." You were right all along. Yes I am a goddamn idiot, yes I behave like a homophobe and that's incredibly wrong, yes I deserve a beating for each beating I ever gave Felix and Seungmin and for all the things I said about being g-gay.", at this point, Chnagbin's tears were unstopable. Jisung had been shocked as soon as he started ranting out, it was an apology that he never thought to hear from him.

"Bin, come here, d-don't cry! Hey..."

The younger embraced Changbin and rested his arms around the sobbing boy.

"It's j-just, he's already ignoring m-me and it h-hurts but I deserve it b-but you c-can't ignore m-me too, please I..."

"Shhh.", Jisung tightened the hug, wondering if he should call Chan, the australian was way better at those things. "Who is ignoring you, Bin?"

"F-felix."

His crying was now stopped and Jisung pulled away, looking confused.

"As in Lee Felix?"

"Y-yeah."

They sat on the bed and Changbin tried his best to prepare for what would happen next.

"Care to explain why that hurts?"

"Can you do me a favor?", Jisung nodded. "I want you to turn around and hear me out, not say anything and just... just turn around when I say I'm done and... and that's it."

Jisung felt the fear in Changbin's voice, so he turned around immediately, squeezing his friend's hand one last time in assurance.

Changbin gulped and tried to calm his heart down.

"I've been raised to be an homophobe. My older brother is gay and he was kicked out of the house when he got his first boyfriend, that was around his 16 years. He lived on the streets but he didn't tell me, he always pretended everything was okay when he went to get me at school. That worked for a while until my father found out he was seeing me. I remember I had promissed to keep it a secret but it sliped. I was a kid I-i... I didn't know why it mattered. He found him, at his boyfriend's house, and he beat the shit out of him. I never saw him again, he never came to me again.", at this point, Jisung only wanted to hug him again, but he had promissed to face the wall until the end." When he got home he was so, so mad that he beat me up as well, which wasn't that anormal in our house. My sister always tried to defend me but my parents didn't care. I was around 10 and I was stupid.", Changbin took a deep breath." When I was 12, I made a friend. His name was Jimin, we went to the same class. He was the kind of guy that can wear a goddamn garbige bin and look hot as fuck.", Jisung couldn't help it but widen his eyes as he had never heard his friend talk about a guy like this. It felt so wierd, so out of place." One day I got home and I was talking about him to my mom. She told me not to talk about him at the table, you know? She was trying to protect me. But I still did, and I was stupid enough to ask...", Jisung felt his heart ache as his bestfriend collapsed behind him.

"Ask what, Binnie?", he knew all he needed was a push.

"S-sorry.", Changbin wiples his tears away once again." I asked if it was bad that I wanted t-to... to h-hold his h-hand.", Jisung's mouth dropped.