Shadows

[13]

Nala POV.

Dying.
Dying feels... Strange, to say the least.
A sensation of brightness yet darkness, sadness yet happiness, calmness yet there's a feeling of danger haunting around you.
I drowned when I died. I wrote a suicide note, then went to the lake and pushed my head under the water. I remember the burning in my lungs. I know now that when you're drowning you don't breathe in until right before you're about to black out. The human instinct doesn't open its mouth until you feel like your head is going to explode. I remember opening my mouth to breathe and inhaling the filthy water and a piece of glass, poisoning my breath and swallowing the shard. But then everything fell away. My body felt light, and it didn't feel like such a burden to be alive anymore. I felt myself leaving, and when I next opened my eyes I was a ghost.
But I couldn't move.
I was stuck. My legs wouldn't move away from my body. I could just move down the river.
I'm still stuck here, it's been a week. And today, someone found me.
And now I can move. My body floats upwards, above the clouds.
"Nala Rose, good to meet you. I'm Aquarius. Sorry for the delay, you can't move from your body until it's found." A woman with a knife through her stomach says.
I nod. That makes sense.
"You can do as you like now that you're dead. You just can't touch any living human, and no living human can hear or see you." Aquarius tells me, "Your funeral should happen soon. You can attend it if you like."
She waves her hand slightly, and my body floats back down. Not all the way, though. I am slightly above the ground, and transparent. I am by the lake, in the park. As I look around, I can see other ghosts, flying around freely. I also see Bella, sat on the grass. I fly over to her and scowl. I try to slap her, but a spark repels my hand. I grab a nearby rock. It works. I drop it on her head.
HA.
When I turn around, I scan the park for Lucia. She must be a ghost too, her body was found ages ago. How do I find her?
She won't stay in one place, I know that much. She can't be at our old house, it was turned into flats. Is she at my house?
I walk to where my house stands. My neighbours are outside, playing on  beat-up scooters and avoiding bits of broken glass. We were never rich, never got to live in a nice place. We had a small, dirty house and mum had to sleep on the couch whenever Siddy came over. New people are living there. Why? Did we move? How did we get the money?
Were we.... evicted?

"Oh my god are you Nala??" A ghost is flying towards me,
"Yes..."
"Aaaaa I'm such a fan!"
"Of what...?"
"Your books. Bella published them. Your family moved into that big house." She points to one overlooking the park, "Your books saved Lucia's house! It's still there, even to this day. People pay to go visit it."
"Really?"
"You didn't know?"
"No.... I didn't..."
"Oh. Well, now you do. I hope I see you around!" The girl beams,
"Yeah... see you later," I start going to my house.
I see mum, lounging in a deck chair in the sun. Listening to Siddy play gentle music on a guitar. Kiki is in the garden, playing with a group of friends.
I go inside.
Mums room has plants everywhere, photos of me and Siddy and Kiki. A photo of Lucia.
Siddy has an empty guitar holder, album covers on his walls. From... his band? There are drums, and a piano. His bed is hidden behind a big curtain, and, although messy, his room is cosy.
Kiki.... where do I start...
Each wall is a different painting. One is a meadow, each flower delicately detailed, each blade of grass outlined, each leaf on each tree perfect.
Another wall is Rapunzel. She is sat in a boat, at night. Watching the lanterns drift across the night sky, lighting it up. Perfectly blended, everything falls into place.
Third wall is the stars. A big chart of stars, hand painted by my seven year old sister. And the moon cycle. Even added the house.
The last wall is special. It is a painted family photo. There is mum, there is Siddy, there is Kiki, there is me.
There is Lucia.
I wish finding her was as simple as this painting.
My ghost hand touches the wall, the beautiful, painted wall.
I start to cry.

The evening sky abandons us and a purple-blue colour streaks across the sky. I make my way to the cottage.
I'm not crying anymore.
That's not what we need.
I need to calm down...
I am calm.

And that's how I found her.
She is there, watching handmade lanterns float into the sky. Sat at her window, she watches the lanterns as they make their way carefully through the broken glass shards of the stars and then paint their shadows on to the moon.
"Like a bit of a cracked pot." She whispers, "Or the biggest shard of glass out of all the stars."
I sit down beneath her window. We watch them together.
For a brief moment, I look up and she looks down.
We could say something. We could get angry. We could cry. We could be relieved.
But no.
We just smile instead.
We smile and watch the lanterns.
We smile.
And we watch the lanterns.