Shadows

[9]

!Trigger Warning!

"One year? That's all you've got?" I croak through my tears.
Lucia nods sadly, "They're not even sure I'll make it that long."
"But you can't die!" I say, "Where- what- why- Wha wha wha, whe, whi, wha...?"
"I'm sorry, Nala." She takes hold of my hand, "I've gotten to Stage Four lung cancer. It's incurable now."
"But it's still treatable!" I cry, "The hospital can still treat it! You can survive!"
"Nala. . . They're trying. That's all they've said." My friend sighs.
We say no more. We just go to bed. 
When it gets to morning, we wake up and sit on the sofa, our arms wrapped tightly around each other. The safety of one another comforting our sadness, but not curing it. I don't think it will ever be cured unless she survives. 
"I don't want to have this." Lucia whispers, "I don't want us to be so sad. Can't we just do something fun?"
"What fun thing do you want to do?" I ask,
"Okay, I now understand why we're not doing anything fun. I can't think of anything fun." 
We giggle a bit a our inability to think of something fun.
Lucia pauses for a minute. 
"What are you thinking?" I turn my head to look at her. 
"I think I want to see my dad." She says after a while. 
"Really?" 
"Really. I want to see him one last time." She tells me, "And I want to meet your dad."
"No, you really don't." I laugh at that last bit, "He's an awful prick." 
She laughs. Her light, sunny laugh that shines when the light is running low, or when the shadows are growing. 
"Actually, yeah, you're right. Judging from what you've told me about him, and judging from what I've seen about him on the TV, I don't want to meet your dad." She grins, "I DO want to see mine, though. Maybe he's changed. Maybe he's not a drunk anymore, and has a new family. I want him to see me before I go." 
"Okay, then. Let's go find your dad." I get up, "Where's Rosebush Road?"
Lucia gasps, "How do you know he lives on Rosebush Road?" 
"Uhm, I'm sorry..." I sheepishly pull out the rolled up paper, "The hospital asked for it, I didn't mean to pry."
"It's okay. How did you reach it?" 
"I didn't. I had to put Kiki on my shoulders and she got it."
"Oh." Lucia laughs, "Well, let's go then."

"512, 513, 514, 515 Rosebush Road, this is it." I count the doors until we find Lucia's dads house. 
I feel her grip on my hand tighten.
"Are you sure that you want to do this?" I ask her. She takes a deep breath.
"Yes." 
We walk up to the door. I knock on it because Lucia has her oxygen tank and my hand that's she's holding.
A man with greying hair, a wrinkled face and quite a big double chin answers the door.
"Who are you, what do you want?" He snaps,
"Dad, is that you?" Lucia's eyes widen,
"'Dad'?" The man echos, "I don't have a daughter!" 
"Yes you do." I say,
"You left me at the park years ago." Lucia says,
"You're still alive? I never thought you'd make it on your own." He looks genuinely surprised, "Well, you've proved that you CAN be useful then. Come inside, and do your job as a daughter and get me a drink. I've had to get up out of my chair so many times because you weren't here to get me anything to drink!" 
"But. . . she was gone for years!" I say indignantly, "You're not even glad to see her?"
"No I'm not glad to see her. She was always a useless, lazy little thing." He snaps, "She made me get up SO many times because she wouldn't get me a drink! And because she wouldn't get me a drink, I had to hit her until she did. She made me use up so much energy! Who are you, anyway?" 
His eyes have the look of permanent madness and anger in them as they land on me.
"I'm Nala."
"Which one of you is my daughter, by the way?" He asks.
"M-me." My friend edges forward slightly,
"Really? I don't remember you. You don't look like my child at all. Where's my real child? Also, what's my daughters name?" He pushes her away.
"She is your real child. She's called Lucia." 
"MARK!" A woman comes out of the house next to his,
"Yes, Susan?" Lucia's dad says,
"Shut up! You make so much noise! Why have you got two vagrants on your doorstep?" The woman has a cigarette dangling from her lips. Lucia coughs from the toxic smoke.
"Um, excuse me, ma'am, could you put the cigarette away please? My friend has lung cancer." I ask,
"WHAT?" The woman screeches, "I will NEVER put this away! Smoking is my life! If she has lung cancer, then don't come here! You have no business here!" 
"Actually, we do. Lucia is this man's daughter." I explain, "Could you please put it away?"
"Never! Get off his property!" She snarls. 
We turn to Lucia's dad.
"You heard the woman!" He snaps.
A couple of the neighbours are looking out their windows at us as we walk sadly down the street. 
"Lucia Merlin, is that you?" A woman carrying several shopping bags says,
"Mrs Carter?" My friends tilts her head,
"Lucia! Where have you been?" the woman puts her bags down and hugs my friend,
"Dad - well, I'm not sure if I can call him that anymore. Anyway, I was left in the park." She explains,
"He left you? But you were only eight when you disappeared! You've survived all this time?" Mrs Carter gasps,
"Yes."
"Who's your friend?" She smiles gently at me,
"I'm Nala." I say,
"Lovely to meet you, Nala." she beams,
"Mrs Carter-"
"Don't call me that, girls. It's much too formal. Please, just say Lucky." She says,
"Okay." Lucia shrugs, "Lucky, I'm so glad to see you!"
"I'm glad to see you to! Everyone thought you were dead!"
"They thought about me?" Lucia looks hopeful, as if a dream has just come true.
"Well..." Lucky fiddles slightly, "I thought about you. And so did Lollie, before she moved out."
"Lollie is Lucky's daughter." My friend explains to me, "She must be about... Twenty-six?"
Lucky nods, "I miss her sometimes. It's nice to have the peace and quiet, but it gets lonely without her. Simon died not long after she moved out, so I'm all alone."
I bite my lip. Is this how my family feel now that I've moved out? Am I the cause of all their loneliness?
"So. . . Has dad changed at all? Did he ever try to stop drinking?" Lucia asks.
"No... I'm sorry." Lucky sighs, "He's passed out a lot, I go over to his house and look after him when he does. He's vomiting a lot, and his place is like a death trap: he's smashed almost every mug or glass against a wall and there are pieces of sharp pottery and glass everywhere."
"Oh." My friend looks at her feet, "We'd better get going." She adds after smiling at Lucky once more.
We wave goodbye to Lucia's old neighbour, and go back home.
"I'm sorry, Nala." She whispers before bed, "I'm sorry that I won't be with you always."
"It's okay. I love you, you're my best friend. You always have been."
"I love you too."