Undress to Impress (Kellic)

Chapter 17

at this point I’d just like to formally apologize to Beau and Oli for how they’re being portrayed in this fic. I needed some people to be assholes and I'm sure they're wonderful in real life. and yes I am aware that it's apparently "stereotypical" for Oli to be a douche can we please stop talking about it

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Chapter 17 - You Used to Lie So Close to Me

I wake up the next morning at Beau’s house, not exactly sure how I got there, and feeling like absolute shit.

The memories start to come to me as I’m puking my guts up in the bathroom. I remember alcohol and pills. I remember Beau’s lips on my neck. I remember Kellin and Oli.

Beau wakes up not long after that, looking rough but not nearly as bad as me. “I think we’re late for school,” he points out, leaning against the bathroom door and watching me as I desperately try to get my shit together.

I groan. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m not really up for school.”

He snorts. “Me neither.”

The morning mostly consists of us doing nothing and me waiting out all my side effects. I don’t stay for long; Beau drives me back to my house, where I basically just lie on the couch and flip through TV channels absentmindedly in a failed attempt at forgetting.

There are about a thousand missed calls and texts from Mike, each one more panicked than the last. I can’t help but feel awful—I’ve done things like this before, and it always scared him to death. So I decide to answer him.

Ok that was a shitty move, I know. I’m sorry. I was with Beau all last night and slept over at his house. Feel like shit so that’s why I’m not at school.

His reply comes a few seconds later, even though he’s in class right now: I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU WHEN I GET HOME

I sigh. I expected that.

For a while, I just get lost in my thoughts. Part of me is wondering if I’ve technically cheated on Kellin by having sex with Beau last night—at least, I’m pretty sure that’s what happened—since we never really broke up officially. But then I remind myself that it doesn’t matter; he cheated on me. We’re pretty much broken up anyways.

What does it say about me that I waited so long to have sex with Kellin, but thought nothing of having sex with Beau? Is it just the fact that I was stoned, intoxicated? Is it that Kellin means more to me than Beau does? Is it just that Beau and I have had sex before? Or is it that I simply didn’t care because I was—and still am—hurt?

Not wanting to deal with anything, I end up falling asleep at some point, and I wake up to the front door slamming shut. I sit up, rubbing my eyes, and find Mike standing only a few feet away from the couch, his arms crossed over his chest as he glares at me.

"Go ahead," I say, my voice a bit raspy. "Kill me. I’m ready."

He shakes his head. “I just…why the hell did you do it?” he asks angrily. “Why the hell did you relapse?”

I close my eyes. That’s another thing I’ve been trying hard not to think about. “Oh, come on,” I say quietly. “Don’t tell me you’ve never done that before.”

"We’re not talking about me right now."

I sigh. “I just needed something, Mike. I needed to feel okay. Beau was talking to me, and I just felt so shitty, and…I felt like I was going to die without them.”

Mike nods slowly. “I know that feeling,” he says, seeming to calm down a little. “Believe me. I do. But please, please don’t go back to him. I’m begging you. Please don’t do it again. Not after everything. Please don’t let this trip you up.”