BLOOD AND CHOCOLATE - REMUS LUPIN

85 - "HIM"

But Rosier barely noticed; she was thinking about Remus.

After exposing her Dark Mark to Dumbledore, no matter how fake, all Hollis could think about was that image of her nightmare that had flashed on the back of her eyelids of Remus looking so, so angry about her. Not just Death Eaters in general, her. 

Hollis didn't know what she would do if she lost Remus to a lack of trust and no faith remaining. Even if she didn't always show it as much as the auburn-haired boy did, she had never cared so much for a person in her life in only a year and a couple of months.

"Hollis?" Regulus prompted, nodding at her to go on after a long pause.

"Yea, sorry," Hollis muttered, snatching a cigarette out of Regulus's pack. "Anyways, he seemed a bit confused at first, but then he seemed to come to terms with the whole 'one of my seemingly nice students' is a Death Eater thing after a few minutes. Then, I basically gave the whole 'I literally want to kill my family speel' and I might have gotten a little too intense, but Dumbledore seemed to understand. And then we started with the plan."

Hollis copied Regulus's movements of summoning a small amount of flame from the common room fire to light her cigarette. Blowing out a long stream of grey, twisting smoke, Hollis continued to her rapt friend.

"I was kinda hard to not mention you, it felt like I was stealing half the credit that belongs to you. I couldn't have done this on my own, but Dumbledore seemed a little too busy absorbing all it to notice that. Plus, until this year, no one ever really saw us together at school, you know? Just a ball and Rosier Manor thing. So he didn't seem suspicious, just worried."

"Worried?" Regulus asked, running a hand through his wavy, dark hair.

"Yea, worried about the safety of the whole thing. Which is, of course, just complete-"

"Bullshit," Regulus finished and Hollis nodded at him while smashing the smoldered cigarette end against a glass ashtray.

"If I'm going to get hurt, I've already developed a pretty high pain tolerance," she said, her lips twisting sourly. Regulus's eyes lingered on them for a few moments before pulling his gaze back up to her eyes. She hadn't noticed. "And if I'm already in this deep, might as well just screw it all over as long as there's a chance of hurting those monsters."

Despite her reassuring, he detected a hint of regret and apprehension in Hollis's face that she was trying to keep neutral and calm.

"What is it?" he asked, scooting a little closer to Hollis from across the couch. "I know that look, Hol."

To his surprise, her eyes began to water slightly, only for a second before she concealed it. But Regulus had noticed. He knew something was wrong.

She took a shaking breath in.

"It's Remus."

Regulus leaned back against the leather stiffly.

"I'm so terrified that something is going to happen and he's going to see the mark. You haven't seen the way he talks about Death Eaters, Reg. It's- it's terrifying- I can't even think of a better word."

Swallowing deeply, Regulus twirled his cigarette between his fingers before taking in a long draw. Something about the way Hollis got when she was talking about Remus bothered him. 

"It's just with such pure hatred, and I'm so, so scared that one day that hatred would be about me," Hollis told Regulus, her eyes watering. "I just love him, and-"

Black's neck snapped towards her the second those raw words slipped from her mouth, his stomach sinking and hands freezing.

She hadn't meant to say it, no previous intention in her mind. The sentence had just come naturally, meant to roll off her tongue.