The Photographer - h.s

Red

We swam around in the water a bit longer, splashing each other and pulling one another under the water. I haven't heard the sound of his belly laughter in almost 2 weeks, I missed it.

We marched out of the water laughed with each other and grabbed our clothes from the sand and walked back up towards the rocks. We found a flat rock to sit on, the hot stone pressed to the back of our legs, and our arms brushing against the other's. We sat in silence for a few minutes just enjoying the warmth from the sun as we began to dry.

"So, Ms.Townes, you wanted to talk?" He asked in light but serious tone and I looked beside me and made eye contact with him.

"Harry..." I swear he could heard my heart pounding in my chest, I have to hold my hands in my lap just to keep them from shaking. "I miss you. You're here but... everything is different since... it's okay, if this isn't..." I have no idea what I'm trying to say. I rehearsed this a dozen times and now I can't remember a single thing I practiced. "What's going on?" I asked and he licked his lips and looked back at the ocean, taking a deep breath. His face fell and turned to an almost sad expression.

"I uh, don't exactly know what to say. Since I've been back I just haven't stopped thinking about London, and thinking about you. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry for hurting you, I never meant to hurt you. I just, I got back, and then there was the accident, and you still showed up. You were so angry with me, and hurt, and you still showed up. I felt so guilty. I was trying to step away, trying to get you to see I'm not... I'm not worth being worried about like that. I don't deserve your kindness, and every time you came around, I just felt worse, I felt such anger and such sadness for ever making you feel... less than what you are, which is amazing. I felt like the shittiest person." He told me quietly and I took a deep breath and looked back to the waves crashing. I didn't know what to say, I forgave him, I was still hurt, and upset about it, but I forgive him. "I felt so... sad, and I didn't have the right to because I was the one who fucked up, i was so angry with myself, all I could was red. Everything was red except for you..." he looked over to me and had a soft expression on his face as he stared at me. "You're so golden. And I felt selfish for still receiving any kind of kindness from you, because I don't deserve it. Im not trying to push you away because I don't want you around, I feel so guilty for hurting you, I don't want to keep disappointing you." He said, his voice still quiet and soft. He was vulnerable, and where I've seen him open, this is the first time I've seen him show me this kind of openness before.

"Harry, I forgive you. I'm still upset, but I forgive you. I miss you." I said sincerely and he glanced to me and gave me a small smile. I meant it, I was still upset but I forgive him, because at the end of the day, the fact of the matter is, we weren't ever together, and I do have the right to be upset about him hooking up with her, but I don't have the right to hold it against him, like a hanging sword over his head. He's on thinner ice, but I just want to move on. "Can we please just, be okay?" I asked and he nodded slowly and he still had a sad look on his face. I pulled him into me as he leaned over and wrapped his arms around my waist and I turned to him and wrapped an arm around his back and the other over his neck, and placed a hand on the back of his head, holding him tightly.

We sat in silence as he leaned his head on my shoulder as while we watched the waves crash, listening to the sound of the ocean. I pushed him off of me quickly and he looked to me confused.

"What did you have to talk to me about?" I asked suspiciously and he smirked and sat up straight.

"So, as you may know, I leave on tour in 3 weeks-"

"Yes, Sarah is counting down the days, she won't shut up about it." I Interrupted him and he chuckled, shaking his head.

"Okay, well... We're starting the world tour and we all wanted you as our tour photographer." He said and my jaw dropped and it felt like my heart was about to stop, and he was just so casual about it?!

"....what?" I asked in disbelief and he laughed.

"We've discussed it a few times and it was unanimous, we all want you to come." I blinked a few times and repeated what he said in my head... twice.

"Wait... I'm sorry what? You want me to come with you, your band, and the rest of your team on tour?" I asked and he chuckled and nodded.

"I mean, if you want to come, that is." He added quickly and I shook my head slowly.

"Are you kidding? Of course I want to come. And you thought you could just... nonchalantly throw that out there? Are you super sure? Is everyone else sure? Oh my god, I just am so shocked." I told him and nodded with an excited smile.

"One thousand percent sure." He said while he nodded and threw my hand over my mouth and looked at him with wide eyes.

"So I'm a tour photographer." I stated and he chuckled and nodded.

"You're the tour photographer." He said back and I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you. I'm still kinda mad at you, but thank you." I said and he wrapped his arms tightly around my torso.

"Thank Jeffrey, he's the one who actually suggested it first and got the team on board, and of course Sarah, Mitch, Adam, And Claire love you so they were more than excited to give their positive input. I can't believe Sarah kept it a secret this long..." he said, both of us knowing Sarah cannot keep her mouth shut when she's sitting on her excitement.

"I have to sort out cat care with Sophia first, but... I'm on board." I told him and we pulled away and he smiled brightly. "And you really just dropped that on me like it was no big deal?! You're a tease." I said and he laughed loudly as I leaned into his side and he put his arm around my shoulders.