Killugon/Gonkillu Oneshots

Missing In Action

TRIGGER WARNING⚠️
A/N: I'm gonna be deleting the angstober oneshot book because i quit a while ago and there's only four shots in there anyways 😹 I'm gonna be reposting all of them here so if you're into angst, feel free to read them.

p.s. I recommend listening to sad music for maximum effect ;)

Warm and tan-like curdled honey hands delicately painted patterns across Killua's face, paving and paving until finally they halted at his lips. Killua pressed his lips to the older's fingers, trailing soft kisses until they met the back of his palm.

He pressed more pecks on each knuckle, ruffling in his place on the grass to loom over his darling boyfriend. Gon laid on his side, moving onto his back to stare straight into Killua's eyes. Neither move for the first few minutes. Then, Killua dived in, his nose pressed against the crook of Gon's neck and began tickling him until he cried tears of laughter.

By the time he was satisfied with Gon's giggly mess, he moved back to his previous position, pale complexion facing the bright blue sky. The sun showered light onto the both of them, bringing an ethereal lighting that complimented both of the boys' skin tones. Gon gave him a blinding smile and perked up into Killua's chest, nuzzling into its safety.

Killua didn't protest. He simply let it happen, quite content with the current situation.

Killua remembers that day. How happy he was to be with Gon. How happy they were. How perfectly happy they were going to be for the rest of their lives.

Killua wishes things turned out differently. He wishes that Gon hadn't made that stupid and selfless decision to offer aid in Kurapika's hunt for the Phantom Troupe. He warned him of the potential risks and even went as far as to give himself up for him and join the hunt.

Even so. It seems that... he didn't try enough. Gon declined his offer. He demanded that Killua stayed in York New and protected his sibling Alluka in the case that Illumi ever decided to take advantage of his disappearance. Killua thought... that made sense. He thought it would turn out okay.

The male begins sobbing, wiping at his eyes until they bruised a bright and puffy red.

And to think, it's been 6 years and he doesn't even know if Gon's alive or not. Let alone where the hell he went. He doesn't— He doesn't know anything! Killua's become so unstable, he's forced himself to push his sister away for her safety and happiness. Now was that a smart decision?

Yes.

Alluka's traveling with Zushi and is much happier. That's all Killua ever wanted for her.

That's all Killua ever wanted for himself. To be able to wake up next to Gon in the morning and have him ask, 'Where to next?'

That's all he ever wanted.

Killua sobs harder.

He was so close to finally being happy, all the pieces to the puzzle were finally connecting and then—

And then he left. Gon was gone. He promised... he promised to be back within a week and if not, he'd at least call. However, he was a liar.

Killua should have known better than to trust a reckless idiot like him. He should have ignored his stupid fucking wishes and went anyways to make sure he was safe. He should have been there with Gon for one last risky and dangerous adventure but he wasn't. And that cost him the one piece of his life that he thought would never change.

That missing piece crumbled and cracked the entire puzzle until nothing fit anymore. Until nothing mattered. Until everything he valued was lost. That was Killua's downfall, he figures. He hasn't seen Kurapika either and he's known how hard that's taken a toll on Leorio. Leorio eventually stopped his studies to look for him and was found with nothing but a large circle that took him a year to follow. It was at that point that he truly believed that it wasn't possible.