One-shot Compilations

MSG

"All guys just want to have sex," nanlulumo na sabi ko sa best friend ko habang nagvivideo call kami. He squinted his eyes at me.

"And why?" he asked.

"I told you I've been flirting with this Gilbert guy, right?" sabi ko sa kaniya.

"Yeah, after you ghosted my friend Edison, you flirted with another guy. Anong meron sa kaniya?" he asked. Nakita ko siyang uminom ng kape. This time it was my time to roll my eyes on him. Edison is someone I met because of him. Jack and I had been friends more than two years pero ngayon he's more like a family to me than anyone else. He fucking promised my relatives that he would take care of me when I brought him home. It was funny though because everyone thought he was my boyfriend. Mabuti na lang ng sinabi kong may asawa na ito at anak naintindihan naman ng lahat.

You see, I vowed to let Jack in my life forever. Not as a lover but my friend kaya hindi ako natakot na dalhin siya sa amin. So, he's basically like a security guard to me now but I know he's just doing his job as what he promised.

"Ugh, he's like Edison," I said. "They just want to have sex."

"Wait, anong sinabi mo kay Edison?!" sabi nito na halos maibuga ang kape na iniinom. Oh shit! I thought. I shouldn't have told him that. You see I told him almost everything but I don't tell him about R-18 stuff and especially if it concerns someone close to him kasi ayokong maapektuhan ang pagkakaibigan nila. My problem with his friend is only my problem. It shouldn't concern him. Tama naman ako diba?

"Ah, sabi ko gusto lang yata ni Gilbert ng FuBu," just like your friend, Edison. I wanted to add pero hindi ko na sinabi. He would just confront his friend. Ayoko. Isa pa, his friend is too young for me. I gave it some time, okay? I tried to know more about him, but he just kept on talking about coming over to my apartment instead of getting to know me kaya I cut him off. Goodbye! Adios! I'm not looking for a fuck buddy. I can go without sex for 10 more years if I have to. So, Edison right now is sulking. I don't care. He could sulk all he wants. I don't fucking care kung may abs siya at maganda ang katawan niya. I like someone who would tell me about themselves. The true them. What they want in life, not talk about sex. Ugh! That's like a major turn off. It's much sexier if a man talks about himself, his life and dream.

"Ella, what do you mean about Edison?" tanong nito. "Is this the reason why you ignored him?"

"Edison is a good guy. It was my mistake. Si Gilbert ang tinutukoy ko," I lied. I don't want their friendship tainted because of me. I can handle Edison on my own. Jack, as overprotective as he is, would get worked up. God! Magkapitbahay pa naman sila! Hindi ito sumagot sa sinabi ko. It was as if he could hear the lies in my voice but if he really did not say anything about it. He let it slide instead at hindi na nagkomento tungkol doon. "Like, he's funny and all and he can make me laugh pero ewan."

"Ewan?"

"Like, I think it's too artificial for me. Parang MSG, it's just doesn't feel natural," sabi ko sa kaniya. It's true. I just started entertaining guys again for about a few months pa lang. I have made myself off limits and focused on healing from my ex for the past three years and I just opened my door to date guys but for like 8 years I haven't entertained anyone. Ngayon ko lang natanto na nagbago na talaga ang panahon. 

Ugh. Shit! I sounded so old. When I dated way back in my teenage years, all you have is simple phones. Nokia ganun. So, they could just call you but of course you guys need to hangout and talk pero ngayon everything is just virtual and it's a good thing but I'm not into it. I want to start something with someone and feel the connection. It's entertaining to talk with guys online pero I don't feel the connection at all. Wala akong maramdaman na kahit na ano. Ewan. I don't feel the connection building up. Yes, I enjoyed talking to some pero wala eh or maybe-- I don't know. I feel like we are forcing a connection kahit na wala naman.