One-shot Compilations

He lost me even as his friend

I stared at the wet floor. It's been rainin' since yesterday and I'm glad I didn't wear a skirt today. Nanunuot ang lamig sa kalamnan ko. As usual, I  am here on my favorite spot sa may kapehan. It's the only place they let anyone sit without ordering anything. I'm at ease here because it doesn't make me look like a loner, which I am, of course. I swallowed. I'm hungry but I am on a fasting again. Sa dami ba naman na kinain ko this holiday, I know that I need to resume diet.

Napabungtong-hininga ako. I wasn't aware I was rubbing my lips. I'm also used to moving my legs when I think about things. I'm thinking of standing up or swallowing my pride. No biggie. Just an internal thing I am having a hard time right now. lol. You see, I'm a very proud person and I tend to stick to what I say when I say it already. If I swallow my pride just to see him then I shall be the greatest joke in the history.

I wanted to see him... so bad. I haven't seen him in the last couple of days. I thought that maybe I could look at him. One look will be enough before I resign. Yes, I am still resigning and I am not telling anyone. What I feel for him is mere an attraction but it is taking toll on me. I want to do my job in peace, away from those people. I'm fine-tuning my reason to get out of here without dragging anyone further. I do not wish to make the situation worse. My manager did this for me and it scared me. She can do worse in my defense. Even if those people are such a crap, I am not that awful to add fuel to the fire. I made it clear to my manager to do nothing and leave it alone. That as long as I said my piece to these people, I'm all right, but I didn't know she was still doing something. I just need to let these people know that I've been trying to let their rude behavior pass for months. I don't want any more bullshit because I didn't harm them. I have my limits and I will not hold my peace if they have reached the limits and my boundaries. I can just tolerate some, but not all. It became worse for me. They hate me more and it stresses me out. These people are just toxic like hell. Can't I have a crush peacefully? What's the big deal? I know I let my wrath dominate me again, but I'm not sorry. It's funny. I know who's guilty and who's not. They can't look directly at me when I'm looking at them. In fact, I still have a month left, and my supervisor said I should give it a month if my decision is still firm, then she'll agree to my resignation. Once I've made a decision, it's already finalized. I am resigning. 

I was unconsciously looking at the guy next to me. He made eye contact with me. Kanina niya pa ako tinitingnan na para bang may gusto siyang sabihin. I believe I saw him at the production facility. I can't say for sure. I am being cautious when I speak to people again. I gave him a smile. He was on the verge of saying something when I got up and took a deep breath.

Fuck it. Let me go see him. Just one peek and I'll be on my way. I told myself as I was determined to swallow my pride just to see him. I wasn't supposed to be in this part of production. My supervisor requested that I not do this for my peace of mind. I should have taken her advice. I should have known better than to be stubborn.

I was spacing out again habang papaakyat sa hagdan. Then what now? Anong gagawin ko kapag nakita ko na siya? Anong sasabihin ko sa mga kasama namin after I lash out on them? I know they wouldn't dare to say something now.

Ah, ewan. I said to myself. I was standing in the center of the lobby. If I turn left, I could carry on and work. If I turn right, I could see him but the pride in me is greater than the desire to see him at this moment. I went through the left door.

My teammates smiled at me as I approached them. I smiled at them shyly and interacted, but as I watched them bicker, my impulsivity took over.

The fuck! I'll check on him, then I'll go. I stood up and took the main entrance. I can't have my supervisor watching me go there.

My heart was pounding, and I heard the beep of my ID card. I swallowed hard when I saw the familiar faces of this part of the production floor. My heart feels like coming out at my chest as I check one bay for another. Then I saw him, in his long-sleeved yellow-green shirt, handsome as always. I felt a little relieved. Okay, he's not dead. Good.