It was you from the start | MINSUNG |

● as days pass ○

Morning came, minho's head was hurting, not because of an alcohol, but because of his stupid decision he made yesterday, but he was tired. The poor boy was tired of holding these feelings inside for a long time. He didn't want to go out of the room, scared of how jisung would react to him, but he had too.

Jisung, on the other hand, was in confusion. He still couldn't believe minho had feelings for him. An actual feelings, romantic feelings that lovers have. His mind also wondered where it all started? When did minho develop feelings for him? Jisung also had anxious thoughts if he hurt minho at any point. It would be a lie to say Jisung didn't have feelings for his hyung, but he was scared to admit it. He didn't think minho looked at him the same way Jisung looked at older boy and all of this was making him even more anxious.

Jisung heard the door opening and he quickly got out of the bed and went out without looking in the mirror. He saw minho in sports clothes, who was about to go to the jym. "Hey I will go too, wait for me" changbin said to minho. "Shi- FINE! Make it quick" minho yelled at changbin and shook his head. He clearly wanted to be alone.

"Go- .." Jisung's voice cracked, he coughed and tried his best to sound as normal as the other days. "GOOD MORNING GUYS" he yelled and smiled. "Good morning you too, weirdo" seungmin said to him while brushing his teeth. Other members greeted him as well. Jisung glanced at minho, he was not looking back. Changbin changed the clothes and went outside with minho.

"What a gREAT day!" Felix said staring at jisung. "Shut up" jisung glared at him. "Hyung, when are you going to the company?" Jisung asked chan. "30min" chan answered him while drinking water. Jisung then went in the bathroom to have a quick shower and go with chan.

On the other hand, changbin and minho were going to the new gym, that was just opened near their dorm. "So, how are you feeling?" Changbin smirked at him. Minho glared at him and changbin coughed. "Come on! Aren't you a little bit happy?" Minho sighed hearing the question and told him quietly "i confessed to him." Changbin froze at one spot and literally screamed in the whole street "YOU DID WHAT?!". Minho covered his mouth with his hand "SHUT UP IDIOT!"

Minho let go of his hand when changbin calmed down. "Sorry, excuse me you did what?" He asked older. "I confessed to him yesterday...at night...in the kitchen" minho ran fingers through his hair. "Um...o-okay? What did he say?" Minho didn't answer this question and continued walking, changbin just sighed and went along with him.

That day was a little big awkward between Jisung and Minho. Later at night, they both were at home and watched tv series together. The awkward sitation was that minho was sitting on the left corner of the sofa and Jisung on the right, there was enough space for five people to sit between them.

After 2 hours, Jisung cracked a joke, really lame joke to make the situation a little bit better. Minho sighed and thought to himself "jesus, he is so cute". He then started laughing too along with Jisung and it made younger happy. "Hyung" jisung called out the older. "Hm" he smiled at him. "W-we are good right?" Jisung asked him nerviously. Minho took a deep breathe and opened his arms. "Come here" jisung didn't hesitate and went to hug the older member.

"Listen, it is me who is at fault. Your actions makes me happier and relieved. Of course we are good. Nothing has changed, I promise. I am the same minho as I was. Don't think too much about what I said yesterday okay? I know your anxious thoughts, that's why I am telling you this. I will still be the hyung you can always depend on. Nothing has changed. Also, I am alright. Okay? Trust me, I am more than okay seeing you not turning back at me" minho said all of this, while cuddling younger member and petting his head. Jisung hugged him even tighter and burried his face in minho's shoulder.

"H-How can I turn my back at you...that is impossible. That will never happen" Jisung told him quietly. Minho took a deep breath, he was relieved.

Of course it all was a big lie. Minho was not even a little bit close to being okay. His anxious thoughts were even worse than Jisung's anxious ones. He would wonder all the time if jisung was okay of his behavours, how he should act or what he can say, if jisung was okay being close with him like they were in the past. But on the outside, everything looked the same. As month passed by, members almost forgot what happened between these two, Jisung included. He would joke around the same he was in the past, minho was putting up his image the same as it was. Not even fans could see that much of a difference in their actions.

Only the youngest, Jeongin, could see the truth. 2 month ago, members changed roommates and jeongin and minho ended up in one room. After this accident, the nights in their room was not peaceful. One day jeongin came in home after working out, it was late at night, he went straight into shower and then entered the room he was sharing with minho. Minho was in bed facing the wall.

Jeongin sat on the bed and sighed "ah it was tiring day" then he smiled and chuckled to himself "but it was good day!" He then looked at minho and wanted to say good night, but then what he saw made his smile disappear. Minho was talking in his sleep, he was sweating and tears were running down his face. Jeongin jumped out of bed and ran to his hyung and shook him "Hyung! Hyung!" Minho was sleep talking "I am sorry- sorry- i- I am sorry". Jeongin started panicking and his hands were shaking "h-hyung! H-HYUNG!"

Jeongin's voice woke minho up. He started panting and heavy breathing. Jeongin kept asking him "Hyung! Hyung! Are you okay?!". Minho felt bad, the youngest had to see him in this kind of state. For the past one month he suffered from nightmares. The most common nightmare was Jisung pushing him away and telling him "how could you do it! Get away from me!".

"Hyung!" Jeongin screamed at him. Minho finally looked at him and hugged the youngest. "H-Hyung are y-you o-okay?" Jeongin was crying. "I am fine. I am sorry I.N. hyung is sorry~ I am fine~ it was just a nightmare. Hyung is okay" minho hugged him tight and pet his head. "W-Was it bad dream?" Jeongin was not letting go of his hyung. "It was nothing, forgot it already" minho laughed, he tried to cheer jeongin up. Jeongin looked at him and asked "a-are you r-really okay?" His eyes were teary. "I am fine little baby~ hyung is alright, don't worry" minho pet jeongin's head and smiled.

This kept happening, until one day jeongin fully understood what minho was talking in his sleep. "J-Jisung I-I..I am so s-sorry.." Jeongin was devastated. He felt the pain his hyung was going through. After waking him up, jeongin asked him carefully "hyung...can i ask you something?" Minho looked at him and smiled "of course you can!". Jeongin took a second glance at him and asked "why are you acting like you are okay...when you clearly are not." Minho tried to cover himself with a fake smile "what do you mean? I am completely fine!" Jeongin then looked at him and said "it is all because of jisung hyung right?" Minho did not say anything.

"Why are you acting like this?" Jeongin asked. "You know jisung. He is overthinker and I don't want to add burden to him! I don't want him to feel bad and to have anxious thoughts because of me! I am fine as long as he is fine" minho said to him.

Jeongin was quiet for a while and then said the last thing he would say that night "Jisung hyung is not as weak as you may think. You acting like this will hurt him even more if he finds out the truth." Minho was left there speechless. Jeongin was correct. Jisung was one of the strongest person in the entire world. What minho was thinking he was doing, trying to not make jisung overthink, would truly backfire in the future. Minho was thinking he was taking care of jisung's mental peace, but if jisung would see him in a state jeongin has seen him numerous of times, he would truly break.