dance for you ~fransykes~

23

"You go." Sienna pushes, shocking me slightly. I would have thought she would be the one rushing into see him at the first chance, best friend instincts kicking in. The two are more like siblings than friends from what I've seen, and she always babies him like a little brother.

"I shouldn't." I shake my head.

"No, he will want to see you." She pushes. I shake my head, but before I can respond she already cuts me off. "Josh if he sees me dressed like this it will only upset him more."

I glance down at the floor heavy heartedly. She was right, as per usual. She didn't have time to get changed after the accident, so she was still in her ballet leotard, black skirt and tights with a dance studio jumper pulled over the top. She still looked like a ballerina, and the sight may be like a punch to the gut to Oliver in his current state.

"Okay." I finally agree after a long moment of silence. "But you go and get changed, once your done we can switch."

"Deal." She grins, and with one look of certainly I get up off the cheap hospital chair and walk through the corridor with the doctor. His strides are long and fast, like he's walked this route a thousand time, so I stumble as I try to keep up with him. Finally we reach a drawn curtain, which he pulls back to reveal Oliver laying on the bed, a drop by his side.

The bright lights make his skin look even paler than it is, the tear streaks glowing like a stain on his perfect face. He looks unfamiliar to me me like this, so still and helpless. It reminds me of in Philosophy that one time when we had to get into groups, he was so lost in that moment just like he is now. His eyes are closed, but I don't need him to look at me to know there's a battle currently taking place inside his head.

The doctor nods at me, and then swiftly leaves, pulling the blue curtain back into place as he goes. What do I do now? Do I just act normal and pretend like nothing has happened, or do I give him my sympathy and be supportive? Fuck, I suddenly don't know how to act. How do you act in a situation like this?

"L-Liv?" I ask quietly, unsure if he's asleep or just closing his eyes. He groans. Shift. His eyes open. They sparkle like pools of golden honey, the white around his iris' how pink. I don't think I've even seen him look so tired.

He looks up at me through his eyelashes, his eyes heavy. I smile meekly, but he doesn't return the gesture. With a loud sigh, I move in closer and perch on the edge of his bed. It must be at least two o'clock in the morning, so the ward around us is silent. You could honestly hear the drop of a pin in this room, which made me feel uneasy.

"How are you feeling?" I ask hesitantly. He doesn't reply, instead he sticks out his bottom lip, pouting like an angry toddler as he turns away from me. Uh. Okay then.

"You feeling tired? Hungry? Thirsty? I'm sure there's a vending machine around here somewhere." I shrug, nudging his thigh with my elbow lightly. He looks at the curtains emotionlessly, the distance in his eyes making me slightly wary.

Still, he says nothing.

"At least you don't have to play in the rounders match in PE on Tuesday. Count yourself lucky!" I try and joke, though my words sound squeezed and wrong even to me. My voice cracks to the point where it's almost unrecognisable due to how pitchy it is.

"Is your dad still here?" He asks, startling me. My dad? Why the hell would he want to talk to my dad when I'm here with him?

"Nah, he left a few hours ago when they put you to sleep."

"Are my parents here yet?" He asks in a whisper. He doesn't even acknowledge my words or presence, just asks for someone else. Is that how little I mean to him?

"Uh, no, I think the doctors called them when my dad left." I answer. He responds with a chocked sob, and I feel my heart break even more. I reach out to take his hand, but he pulls it under the covers just before our skin touches. He doesn't even want me here, he just wants his parents.

"Where's Sienna?" He sniffles, full on crying now.

"In the bathrooms getting changed." I say, ignoring the sinking feeling in my chest that keeps getting deeper and deeper. He can't even look at me anymore, and all he wants is someone else. I should have known that he would want to see Sienna over me, after all we are...only friends.

"Oliver, please talk to me." I beg, making him cry even louder. He's hysterical now, and I can't tell if it's the drugs or the tiredness or me that's causing his emotions to be so highly strung.

"Leave." He sobs.

I look at him as if he were delusional and then shake my head. There's no way in hell I'm going to leave him whilst he's in this state, with tears streaming down his read cheeks. He can't get rid of me that easily, even if he wishes I was his parents or Sienna instead. So what if I'm not the person he wants? At least I'm here, that's more than I can say for his no-show parents who haven't even bothered to show up!

"What? No! Love, I can't leave you like this." I reassure him, standing my ground. His hands ball into fists below the think covers, and then they begin to shake violently.

He mumbles something I can't understand.

"What was that?" I ask, which only seems to make him shake harder. What the hell is going on inside of his head right now?

"GO AWAY, JOSHUA." He finally screams, seemingly snapping into a version of Oliver I've never seen before. His voice bellows through the sleeping hospital, and I cringe back at the sound. The words are like a bullet straight to the chest, and they wound me deeply.

I don't move for a second, frozen at the end of his bed. He continues to look away at the curtains, no even moving now, not even breathing.  Without even looking he seems to notice my weight on the bottom of the bed, so he moves his good leg to kick me hard in the thigh, making me fall off the bed and onto the floor. I quickly scramble to my feet, the world around me seeming hazy in my tired and confused state.

"GO AWAY, JOSHUA. I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU ANYMORE. JUST FUCK OFF." He screeches, and this time I don't hesitate before I charge through the curtains.

I don't even acknowledge the doctors who run towards where Oliver is thrashing hysterically around on the bed, or Sienna who tries to grab my arm as I leave, her expression confused and frantic. Instead, my mind and body feels numb as I walk straight to the hospital entrance, never once looking back.