Spicy [Yandere! Sentient! Ramen x Reader]

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        "So remind me why you have a physical form?" you grumbled as Noodles force fed you, well, noodles. You choked as he shoved it down your throat, and you had to smack him to stop or else you would have died. Thank god it wasn't made out of him. Well, at least that's what he said. Actually, though it was rather disturbing to know, it tasted absolutely amazing.

It was unlike anything you've ever had. It was like heaven.

You know if you got to be fed by such a hot ramen man like Noodles everyday, you probably wouldn't mind. It was absolutely fucking delicious. You internally smacked yourself. Oh god, what have you become?!

"I gave myself a physical form." You opened your mouth so that he could shove some more noodles inside. "It's a shame that I can't revert my properties. In the end, I'm still ramen." Chewing up the noodles, you swallowed.

"I still don't understand why she made you a ramen, or why she named you Noodles." He shot you a glare, and you tensed a bit, trying to sink past his leg and into the couch that the two of you were on. But alas, you could not because he had you propped up on his leg.

"She thought it would be funny, that fucker." Noodles grumbled under his breath. "For a woman who's five-hundred years old, she has the personality and humor of a ten year-old." He aggressively shoved noodles into your mouth, and you thrashed a bit in his hold. "Stay still damn it."

Swallowing, you yelled at him. "Do you just expect me to just stay still while you keep choking me?!"

"You're not into that kind of stuff?"

"I- Er. I don't know?" He raised a brow. "What, so you're a virgin or something?"

"I'm not going to answer that." He huffed.

"I didn't want an answer anyways." A sly grin made it's way onto his face. "By the way, I'm sure you'd be very interested in how I made your noodles." You coughed, trying to swallow the noodles quickly.

"Please don't tell me." Oh no, he did not.

"The noodles were made out of my hair, and the broth was made out of my bodily fluids." You choked. No. He did not. You started to punch him with your fist, but he just wasn't reacting. Damn ramen doesn't have a nervous system. Using his other hand, he wrenched your out open so he could feed you more of his body.

"Staph! I don't want to drink your fucking pee!" A vein popped on his forehead. Was that even biologically possible?

"It's not pee you dumbass. It's my blood."

"How is that even better?! And I thought it was red!" At your exclamation, Noodles took the opportunity to shove more noodles in aggressively. You choked, trying to strangle the noodle man, but he looked unfazed. Actually, he looked so done with your shit.

"I think you want me to kill you." He sighed at your struggling. "You should be thankful I'm not shit or something. I'm sure that would have been very unpleasant to eat and smell." After shoving the last bit inside your mouth, he let you go, and you fell onto the floor with a thud. He rolled his eyes at you, bringing the bowl into the kitchen.

You were just hoping this whole thing was just some fucked up dream.

Sitting up, you rubbed your head, still tasting the lingering broth- or blood now -in your mouth. It wasn't bad, it was just the thought that made it revolting. You smacked your lips. At least you weren't hungry now. Looking to the side, you saw your laptop wide open.

Oh right, you were going to watch anime until this whole thing just happened.

Stretching your arm out to grab it, you whined when your fingers barely grazed it. You didn't feel like getting up, but you wanted to watch anime. Ah, the struggles of life. With a defeated sigh, you plopped back down on the floor. You didn't have the motivation to do anything, homework, cook, clean, nothing. You just wanted to stare lifelessly at a screen this very moment.