Spicy [Yandere! Sentient! Ramen x Reader]

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It took a moment to register in your brain.

"WHY THE HELL WOULD I DO THAT?!" you exclaimed. "And I thought you said that it hurt!" The ramen waved dismissively using a noodle as an arm.

"I was exaggerating. It actually doesn't hurt."

"Well I don't want to eat you." You huffed. "It just feels wrong. It'd be like I'm slurping up your insides or something." You shivered. Ugh that would be gross. Your stomach growled in protest, and you began to punch it.

"Shut up you stupid stomach." The ramen watched you with a deadpanned expression.

"It could all be solved by eating me." You shot it a glare. "Stop saying that! It sounds wrong! And I don't want to eat something that's alive! Are you alive?" That last bit came out a little quieter. Yeah, was that ramen even alive? It talked and had expressions, but was it? It had to be figment of your imagination, it had to be.

Things like this just doesn't happen in real life.

"I thought we went over this you fucking idiot. I'm 100% alive. And for you information, I'm a male. I can tell that you're debating on what to call me." You gaped. Were you that oblivious? And ramen has a gender? Well actually you supposed you shouldn't judge, everything deserves to be identified as something, but still! You eat ramen, so it just feels wrong now.

Ugh, you felt like you were going to be sick.

"I think I'm going to hurl. This has to be the worse thing that's ever happened to me. And I'm already fucked up." He watched you as you staggered into the bathroom. Or tried to at least, because you passed out, landing on the floor with a thud.

You groaned, sitting up from your position on the carpet.

Rubbing your head with your hands, you sighed. You just had the stupidest nightmare in your entire existence. A ramen becoming sentient and you stabbing him with a fork/chopstick. Ha, like that would ever happen. Looking back, you saw the bowl you left there, and you paled.

It had to be a dream.

Hesitantly, you peered into the bowl, and sighed when you saw that there was no ramen man inside. You laughed softly to yourself. You were dreaming. Ramen man was not real. He wasn't real.

"Oh, you're awake." Your whole body just jumped, and you looked down at the bowl with a nervous expression, before it morphed into confusion. Huh? He wasn't in the bowl. And the bowl felt very hot, considering the fact that you had passed out for probably a while.

"Behind you, dumbass." With wide eyes, you slowly turned your head back, seeing a very very naked man before you.

"... You... I-" No words left your mouth as you tried to come up with a reasonable explanation as to why there was a very naked stranger in your apartment. Maybe he just came for a hook up or something. But wait, you didn't do hook ups. And his voice sounded very similar to the ramen in your bowl.

Come on, there has to be a logical explanation.

The man shook his head at your stunned state. "It's still me. Did that fall really cause you brain damage?" He ran his hands through his slightly curly, pale yellow hair. You then focused your gaze on his eyes. They were a golden yellow, it kind of looked like a yolky color. Huh, now that you thought about it, his hair looked like ramen.

Huh, he smelled like ramen too.

"Tch." He crossed his arms. "You really are an idiot." Alright, that made you pissed.