𝘾𝙖𝙣'𝙩 𝙇𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙔𝙤𝙪 - 𝙆𝙖𝙜𝙚𝙃𝙞𝙣𝙖

6 - Can't lose you

Hinata

A match against Karasuno, that was the last thing I needed, or wanted. But I was determined to work hard, to fit into my new volleyball team. 

It was my first training with the team, so I headed to the gym half an hour early, only to find the door wide open. I entered in curiously, only to hear voices, inaudible yet there. 

I headed towards the noise. It was coming from what I guessed was the club room. I could hear the conversation clearly now.

A deep grunt "Shittykawa do it properly,"

A muffled whine "Iwa-chan why are you so mean, I'm literally helping you."

"Well you're not doing it hard enough." Iwaizumi grumbled.

"Fine I'll go harder." A pause, followed by a soft moan.

"Mmm just like that-"

"You want me to keep going?" I could literally imagine Oikawa smirk.

"Mmm yes..." a pause, before, "Mmm right there, yes there."

I opened the door slowly. Both Oikawa and Iwaizumi looked towards me. Iwazumi was sitting cross-legged, sitting between the space between Oikawa's legs, which were spread out. Oikawa had his hands in Iwa's curls massaging his scalp, and Iwazumi, who was looking very flustered, stared at the floor. 

"Hey Hinata, I was just giving Iwa-chan a massage, how come you're here so early?" Oikawa exclaimed, oblivious to the other other third year's expression.

"I arrived early and was just going to wait outside, but the door was open so I decided to check it out. Then I heard you guys so I was just checking who it was." I explained.

"Well, welcome to the club!!" 

"Thank you," I smiled, "Well I'll be back, I have to go to the toilet." Both nodded as I left, closing the door behind me. I went to go look for the bathroom.

When I came back, there were still 15 minutes till training. I opened the club room door with caution. The scene before me was surprising. Oikawa was pinned against the wall, hands in Iwa's hair. Iwa had wedged a knee between Oikawa's legs, who was rubbing against it slowly. 

Both boys had their eyes shut and were making out passionately. I coughed awkwardly and they flew apart. 

"Oooh Hinata, you're back... umm how was the toilet?" Oikawa asked, looking at the ground, smiling sheepishly.

"Um good... thanks?" I said, unsure of how to respond. Iwaizumi was fiddling with his hands.

"I think it's time to start setting up for practise." Iwa pushed passed the both of us, leaving the room with a slam of the door. He hadn't acknowledged what had just happened, which seemed to really hurt Oikawa. Tear's welled in the third year's eyes.

"Is this a regular thing or-" I was cut off by a loud sob.

"This is the first time... and I- I don't think he actually likes me... he just got carried away. H-he's gonna pretend it never h-happened." I'd never seen Oikawa like this, and instinctively, I gave him a hug. He cried on my shoulder.

"Hey.. listen, maybe you should talk to him about it after practise." I suggested, as Oikawa wiped his eyes.

"B-but... I'm scared he'll hate me. We're supposed to be friends.... and I- I kissed him."

"Well he seemed to enjoy it, to say the least," I said, trying to make him feel better. He sniffed, eyes slightly red. 

"Thanks Hinata,"

I smiled, "It's all good."

And then we headed out to practise.

***

Kageyama

I can't lose you.

Why did it take me so long to figure it out?

That- I love him.

His smiles, which I was missing dearly.

His pouts, which were adorable.

I've lost him, and now I realise I love him. I hate myself.

Hinata... please don't leave.

Images of Hinata laughing and grinning with Oikawa and Seijoh rushed through my mind. The memories of the match that had occurred earlier that evening.

I woke up with a whimper in the middle of the night. Realisation dawned on me. I loved him. 

Love. A word as strong as Hate, if not stronger, yet no one minded throwing it around. 

I turned on my phone, the blue-light illuminating my face. I scrolled through my contacts, contemplating whether I should call or not. Surely Suga-san wasn't asleep yet, plus he had said I could talk to him. And right now, I really wanted to talk.

Love. Hinata. Love. Hinata. 

"Hello? Kageyama? Are you okay?" Concern was evident in the third year's tone.

"S-suga-san" I choked, surprised at the way I could barely speak. Then I felt it. The waterfall of heated tears, rolling down my cheeks, "I- I love him."

"Is this about Hinata?"

"Y-yeah, I just realised it. I c-can't lose him, I don't want to. I want him back... I- I love him Suga-san, I really do. Please help me." I sobbed.

"Kageyama, next week we're going on a training camp. Seijoh will be there. I'm going to arrange for you and Hinata to share rooms. That will be your opportunity to fix everything. But for now, get some rest okay?" The light-haired boy spoke softly, as if Kageyama was a delicate little thing, who could break anytime. And that he was, delicate and broken, with a hint of stupid.

I can't lose you.

I love you.

Hinata.

***

Hinata

I packed my belongings, a checklist and a pile of things dumped on my bed. I placed everything in a orderly manner, making sure my luggage was compact yet neat. It was the night before training camp, my first one with Seijoh. Karasuno was going to be there.

I was excited and nervous, and feeling agitated and anxious over the top of it all was not a good mix. I felt the need to puke, but I hadn't eaten dinner yet, so there was nothing there to vomit out.

I finished packing, all the boxes on the list checked off, flopping onto my bed. The lingering smell of fresh Mint made me dizzy, and I realised that I was wearing one of Kageyama's hoodies. He'd grown out of it and I'd found it comfy, so he gave it to me. 

For the first time in a while, the thought of him brought a smile to my face. I remembered what we used to be. I wish I could go back.

Maybe training camp could fix things, even if it was just the slightest.

Suddenly, I wasn't feeling nauseous anymore.

***