Jolivia Oneshots

Anxiety Attacks *

Overview: Josh has an anxiety attack and Olivia helps him through it : Requested by one8907

TW: Anxiety and panic attacks

Growing up, Josh had never really considered himself a highly anxious person. From time to time, something would overwhelm him and he'd find himself susceptible to the occasional panic attack. It was something his family had always known about him but when it came to his friends, he had always been a little more private. It wasn't that he was embarrassed or anything but "I sometimes suffer from the occasional panic attack" doesn't typically slip into light conversation with friends very easily. He remembered clearly the night he told her  though.  

It had been a long day of shooting which had stretched into a long night as well. Olivia and himself had been hanging out together in a quiet part of set between takes and it was clear the 3 am delirium was getting to them both. Sometime in the middle of the night, light and stupid conversation had turned into a deep and emotional discussion. He didn't know exactly what led to it but one second they were talking about their childhoods and families and the next he was explaining his longstanding struggle with anxiety. He had been a little nervous to how she'd react after he told her, but she had been nothing but supportive. It was nice, really nice. He thought that was the end of it though.    

A few months after their late night conversation, he had been hanging out with Olivia at his Salt Lake apartment when he got a phone call. It was just past 9 pm and he didn't recognize the number but the area code was from Oceanside. He thought it was a little odd but nonetheless, he excused himself to answer it. It turned out, the call had come from the mother of one of his best friends from back home, Noah, and she had gotten his number from his phone. Apparently he had gotten into a pretty bad car accident earlier that night and he was at the hospital and stable, but wasn't in great condition. She had been calling a few of his close friends to let them know and that had included Josh. He thanked her and wished the family well, asking her to let him know if there were any updates.

He had slowly lowered the phone before letting it drop to the couch from his hand and turning back around to face Olivia, trying to hide the shock on his face. He could see it in her eyes though, the second she saw him, she knew something was wrong. In an instant her face had flooded with concern and she was moving over to where he was sitting on the other side of the couch.

"Hey, hey come on." She said trying to get his attention and searching his eyes for explanation. "What's going on? Are you alright?" She questioned with a gentle hand on his cheek.

"My uhm- my close friend from back home, well uh, he got into an accident-" he cut himself off and cleared his throat. "Apparently he's in the hospital and it's um," he shook his head, "Liv it's pretty bad." His voice finally broke and he met her eyes as his tears spilled over. She hadn't hesitated to pull him into her arms, one hand on his back and one on the back of his head, holding him tightly. 

"Josh I'm so sorry." She whispered softly and he nodded into her shoulder, not ready to let go first. At first the hug was really comforting, it felt good to just be held, but then he started to overthink and the guilt and stress started rolling in. 

When was the last time he even spoke to Noah? 

What was their last conversation about?

Should he go back up to Oceanside to visit?

What about filming and work?

Should he call their other friends and talk to them about it?

The questions started and just wouldn't stop coming then before he knew it, that once comforting feeling of being in Olivia's arms had started to feel almost suffocating. When she noticed his heavy breathing, she seemed to pick up on it and gently let go, giving him some space. She kept one hand on his arm with a very light grip and it felt like that hand was the last thing tethering him to reality. 

As more and more questions and thoughts started piling up in his mind, it felt like his heart was stuttering in his chest. Somehow, his own body felt all too heavy and at the sometime, like he wasn't anywhere near grounded enough. The air grew heavier and with each breath he took, it felt like he was drawing less and less air into his lungs.

".sh? Josh?" He heard her voice calling his name. "Hey, look at me." She said softly and his eyes met hers. "Breathe with me, deep breaths okay?" She asked and he gave her a little nod. She inhaled for three seconds, then exhaled for another three, repeating the process until he was able to get his shaky, uneven gasps to almost match her steady pace. "Good, just keep breathing. You're safe and I'm here for you." She affirmed with a nod of her head and her words helped him start to ground himself again, clear his mind. When his breathing returned to as normal as could be and silence loomed between them, he couldn't help but notice the way her eyes were studying him. He expected judgement, maybe confusion but all he found in those golden brown orbs was patience, concern and love. 

"I- I'm sorry." He stuttered, breaking the quietness of the air around them. 

"You never have to apologize, not to me." She said shaking her head with a small smile and giving his arm a light squeeze reminding him that she was still there, she was real and so was he. "Do you want to be alone, or should I-" She started but he quickly cut her off.

"Stay, please stay." He said not really caring about how desperate he sounded in that moment, he needed her.

"Always." She said without missing a beat. "Do you want to talk about it?" She questioned after another moment of silence.

"Not really just, be here with me?" He asked softly and she agreed, nodding her head in understanding. Josh had once again moved to Olivia's arms which she held him in gently. He had grabbed the remote and hit play on the show that they were watching before he got the call but neither paid much attention to it. His attention was on the rhythmic and comforting thump of her heartbeat and her's on his steady breaths. The next morning he would open up to her about how he was feeling and everything going on in his mind but for the time being, falling asleep wrapped safely in her arms was enough.

A/N - I want to start with a quick disclaimer that I myself do not suffer from panic attacks so I apologize for any inaccuracies with the story. I did do some research before hand but it still may not be completely accurate! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed and as always please comment to let me know what you thought and votes are highly appreciated. Thank you for the request and feel free to request a oneshot. Thanks for your patience, I promise I am getting through all your amazing requests slowly but surely!!!