i will not be the person you settle for just because you can't have her

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My frozen tears are long gone, washed away but the summer's golden hue. But it's only pretend. I hide behind a painted face of small nods and smiles, pretending as though your glance does not make me weep, make the garden inside me die. The tulips wilt. The rose bush cry. But the rose bush, it is sharp. Scornful. It's thorns prick me. Red. Blood falls to the floor, like my tears on cream sheets. Yet the pain, it is beautiful, the petals crisp - perfectly shaped. She is beautiful. Her ashen skin. White lilies in a forgotten pond.

You did this. You caused the pain. But I still forgive you, our roots intertwining with every stolen kiss. Like the snow kissed holly on the lawn. We live in a sugar coated lie, every false pretense sickly sweet on my tongue. But that does not matter, for I love honey. The way it coats your mouth, gooey and rich. You love her. The lily. But she sits still. Her pond frozen over in the bitter cold. But I cannot. I will not be the person you settle for because you cannot have her. For I fear I will wither too. Trampled by the unrequited love scattered like seeds in the wind.

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