SID (DISCONTINUED)

Chapter 6 (The Shitcademy!? Yeet!)

"MY EYE!!"

Sid is proud to say that that is her first time hearing that particular kind of scream, and it certainly will not be the last.

She then threw herself out a nerby closed window.

"YEET!" The glass entering her skin was 'tis but a scratch. A painful scratch that will most likely cause her to pass out from blood loss.

"What does that even mean...!?" Kakashi was a bit terrified, he wasn't gonna lie.

The Third held his eye, blinking it slowly and cautiously. He sighed and shook his head.

"That child..."

The two man stood in silence together before Kakashi had the audacity to speak his mind.

"Lord Hokage, should we go get her before she wrecks havoc on the villagers of Konoha?"

The Hokage closed his eyes.

"Kakashi, there are some things you just don't mess with until the last moment." He turned around to walk back into his office.

"Like now, for instance."

Kakashi stood looking out the broken window.

"Now, during this time, come help me with my paperwork."

Kakashi sighed before turning around and entering hell.

_______________/___/_________________////////

Sid ran over the rooftops of Konoha with a shit eating grin on her face.

If possible, her smile widened even more when she seen all of the Hokage's creepy faces on Shitty Mountain.

She looked at each and every one thoroughly, not forgetting a detail.

Ignoring the amazing, beautifully drawn paint on them, she looked them up and down.

That second man looks fine as fuck, not gonna lie. And that fourth one is like he wants me to rail his rock hard face. Mm, if only, children, if only. She solemnly thought.

"HAHA, YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME!"

Could it be!? She thought as she looked up, and there he was, the blonde gangster from earlier that refused to acknowledge her as his dad.

That child will soon become cultured on my behalf, and will then become a chile. She vowed.

The blonde boy was in the air, mid-jump, and she tried to recall his name.

N...nnn....it started with an N...um...Nurdo...Nareo...Mario-no, that's definitely not it. That name doesn't even start with an N. Fuck, what was his name?

"YOU CROSSED THE LINE THIS TIME, NARUTO!!"

Naruto? That sounds awfully fucking famila-

"OOF!" Sid fell from the roof she was standing on to the dirty floor she had a mouthful of.

She spat and coughed the ground out.

"Disgusting!" She wheezed, trying to get all the nasty air out of her. "Disgusting!!"

She looked at the culprit, her head snapping so fast to the left she almost got whiplash. She had a tic mark well and fully prepared on her forehead, but then she saw him.

"BLONDE GANGSTER BABY!?" Her jaw dropped, but not to the floor. To her almost nonexistent lump on her upper body part, some referring to as 'the chest'.

"Huh!?" Naruto looked up with squinted eyes. "Hey, it's you! That weird girl!"

"Hey! I'm cultured, fool, ya fool!" Sid threw up cool gang signs, pushing her lips out to make her seem big and bad. Not that she already wasn't, but second impressions, people.

Second impressions. Very, very important.

"Cultured?" Naruto tilted his head in confusion, as most people who've encountered Sid would.

"Listen, I know your confuddled and bamboozled and shit, but you wanna tell me why you keep running around and dropping in on me like a Chungus jumping on carrots?"

Naruto, too dense to process the end of her sentence, nodded and smirked.

"Well, yesterday, I pranked the old man! I told him it was a present, but it was actually red paint! Then I had some feathers from my pillow and-"

"NARUTO!!"

"Oops, looks like you gotta blast, my dude." Sid stood up and wiped the dust crumbs off her.

"You mind tellin' me who this old man was?"

"Well, it was actually Lord Third, but I call him old man because he's old!!" Naruto grinned as he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Right, right. I get it, you're not very creative on names, and you seem like the type to be very unoriginal with insults like a simpleton. But, answer me this, around what time-"

"WHERE IS THAT KID!?"

"-did you prank the old fart?"

Naruto scratched his head in confusion.

"Uhhh-I think it was around...after noon?"

"Afternoon?"

"No, after noon!"

"Oh, after noon."

"No! After noon!"

"That's what I just said."

"No! You said it like-"

"THAT KID!! HE'S SUCH A BRAT!"

"NARUTO!! WHERE ARE YOU!?"

"HE IS IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!"

Sid grinned. "Did you do what I think you did to the Hokage faces?"

"Uh-if what you're thinking is paint them, then yeah! Believe it!"

So he's the one who had the balls to prank the Hokage faces. Not bad, not bad. His insults are really plain, but maybe he's not so uncultured, after all. I just have to mold him into a pevert that cusses like a fucking amazing person. Someone fabulous like myself. Sid smirked as she stroked her imaginary beard.

"It's all coming together..."

"Uh-what are you doing? You're creeping me out, believe it!!" Naruto said with an uncomfortable face on.

"Good-"

"I SEE HIM! NARUTO! YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE!!"

"Oh, shoot/shit!" They both looked at each other.

"You cuss?"

"You don't?"

"NARUTO, WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU-!!"

"I gotta go, believe it! They're after me!" He turned to run, but Sid stopped him.

Her hand was on his wrist.

"Hey, what are you doing!? Let me go!"

Sid smirked before lifting him up with ease, carrying him bridal style as she moved at a fast speed.

She stopped beside a fence, dropping Naruto on his ass. The said boy quickly stood up, dusted his pants off, and then magically shat out a similar fence-like wallpaper.

He held it up as did Sid.

"NARUTO, HOLD ON!!"

An angry hoard of ninja ran past them and they both took the wallpaper down. They turned to look at each other before giving out grins that could eat big piles of shit.

Naruto laughed.

"What idiots!"

"What dumbasses!"

"That was too easy!!" Naruto's grin widened.

"Oh, yeah, Naruto?" Both Naruto and Sid jolted the shit out of themselves, turning to look at the jackass that made them move.

"Damn, who's comin' with the smoke!? Alright, bring it you cock suckin', clit lickin', horny ugly ass bastard!!"