The Rockstar and the Songwriter

Personal

"Hey Max." I said as I fixed his blanket and picked up his stuffed dragon from the floor, tucking it back into his arm. "Sorry, I'm haven't been around to visit lately. I've been kind of busy."

As usual, Max doesn't say anything, he just sleeps and breathes. Sometimes I think it's pointless to talk to him but the doctors said that maybe by hearing my voice, he'll wake up. I doubt it but it's worth trying besides, one of the upsides of talking to him is that I can get things off my chest when I can't talk to anyone else.

"Anyway, you might have heard — most likely from Rosie — that I was on the news a while back." I said, smiling a little at the memory of me and Magnus on stage. "I was performing, Max. Actually performing, on a real stage and everything. I was nervous as hell but it was amazing . . . I wish you could have seen it. And that's not all, I got a recording deal to Downworld Records. How cool is that?! I still can't believe it. Though things are going to be a little difficult with Mom and Dad when they find out . . . I kinda ran away from home again. Izzy and Jace found my stash and they told Mom and Dad about it then Dad started thinking that I was high on the night of the accident. What they don't know is that I didn't start taking drugs until after the accident."

The memory of that night started creeping up on me and I shook off it before it could overtake me.

"Anyway, I got reunited with an old friend," I continued, quickly changing the subject. "Well, more like with an old crush. Do you remember that guy named Magnus? The one I wouldn't stop talking about? The one I kissed on Halloween night?" I blushed, giggling sheepishly. "Well, he and I became friends. And now, I'm even more in love with him than I was before."

I groaned and pulled at my hair in frustration. "What the hell is wrong with me? I can't seem to do anything right." I looked over at my little brother. "You know that firsthand."

Despite me not wanting to, the guilt and anger overwhelmed me and the next thing I knew I was crying.

"Max, wake up!" I begged, tears streaming down my face. "Please just wake up! If anyone deserves to walk around and have fun, it's you, not me. I should be in that stupid coma . . . not you. Why did you had to get hurt and I was the one who walked away with nothing but a few scrapes?!"

I jumped to my feet, the chair flipping behind me and without even thinking, I punched the wall besides me, pain spiking through my hand but I didn't care as long as it gives me a different kind of pain to focus on. And it worked. I sharply inhaled as I held my hand, the skin around my knuckles starting to turn red from the impact.

"Alec!" The door flung opened and Rosie burst into the room, quickly making her way over to me and seizing my injured hand to look at it.

"Ow!" I hissed, glaring at her. "That hurts, you know."

"Well, good because that's what you get for punching a hole in the wall!" She snapped, her eyes flashing fiercely. Rosie looked over at the spot where a few cracks started to spread in the wall and scowled at it. "You know, I have to get that fix, right?"

I looked over at the wall and as the adrenaline worn off, the remorse set in.

"I'm sorry," I said, looking away from her. "I didn't mean to, I just-

"Got upset," Rosie finished, her expression softening. "I know, Alec. Don't forget I'm one of the few people who can understand what you're feeling and who knows how hard you'd been taking this."

"Yeah, I know." I whispered.

Rosie has interning as a nurse at the hospital for the past two years. She went into medicine after an accident she had with her two friends. They were all drunk — though she was a little more sober than them — she was behind the wheel and they accidentally rode off a bridge . . . one of them didn't make it. A year later, she was barely starting her internship when Max and I came into the hospital. When we got separated and I was screaming to get back to Max, Rosie saw me, saw herself in me and promised she would keep an eye on my brother and since then, she's been Max's nurse. She was the only one who knew how the guilt and the self-anger feels like and once we forged that connection with each other, we became friends ever since.