Voice of the Mafia

Chapter 18

"I can't do it. I got the sick." His eyes turned from anger to hunger at the sight of my chest and with as much effort as I could, managed to stand and slide the rest of the dress off to reveal my very thin lace thong.

"Sick? What do you-" I stumbled over to him and when I was close enough set my hands on his chest. He took a step back and went to pull away but something about my face must have held him in place.

"Sick with the feelings. My freedom is with you and if I don't have you then I don't want it. I fly with you. Big cage but I safe and free. My sick won't let me hurt you. Can't hurt you. Won't hurt you. Protect you." I leaned in and licked a stray drop of water that was running down his chest from his hair. A deep growl met my action and his arms went around me to hold me steady.

"You can't have feelings for me Seraphine. I won't allow-" I glanced up into his eyes and as my lips drew closer to his I whispered.

"Sophie. Call me Sophie." I connected my lips with his, the aching between my legs returning tenfold as I wanted nothing more than for my body to be pleased. I wanted Boss... Mr. Dorian... Alexander to pleasure me. His lips at first were firm as his surprise was genuine but with a firm grip he pulled me away from his face and lifted me into his arms as he carried me into his bedroom. The bed looked like it had been slept in already and I wanted to nothing of that sort in it.

He laid me down and walked away from the bed, the bulge in his pants obvious.

"Seraphine, stay here and sober up. There is no time for you to be intoxicated. I said before that I will not allow you to have feelings for me and I meant it." With that he closed the door behind himself as he went back out to the living area, a soft plop a few moments later telling me that he was sitting on the couch now.

My cage... had just grown smaller as I felt my heart beating out of my chest with lust and disappointment. He had denied me. The one I had feelings for, maybe even loved, had rejected me.

Tears pooled at the corners of my eyes and I shifted to my side and curled up so that I was nothing more than a ball. I felt so small inside and out and had allowed myself to get this far. I couldn't ever let it happen again. Never again was I going to feel such things.

I had to get out of there. That was what my body and mind was telling me. I needed to go back to my own hotel and just stay there. I didn't want to be here anymore. With that decision in mind I climbed from the bed and exited the bedroom. Boss didn't look pleased at all by what had just occurred and I didn't care. I went to the kitchen, retrieving my dress from its place on the floor. I had just slipped into it when Boss said,

"I thought I said to stay in there until you sobered up." My arms slid into the dress holes and reached back to zip it up, careful of my hair.

"I'm going back to my hotel. I don't want to stay here anymore." Since my shoes were still on I just had to reach for my wallet and leave. However, it was sitting right next to Boss.

"Why?" I went to reach for the wallet but was stopped when his hand grabbed my wrist. He didn't look at me while he did it just stayed still like a statue.

"Cause I don't want to be around someone who will just reject me. I'll follow orders when we get back to the states but this is my vacation. I will-"

"Why do you have feelings for me?" I paused and allowed my arm to go limp in his hand. I didn't need to think too hard on it for my answer to become clear.

"You defended me, gave me the life I had always secretly dreamed of, minus the old dudes, and even though you would be aggressive with me from time to time, I could see the look of pride at my accomplishments. Every check I brought back kept getting bigger and bigger. The bigger your smile, the harder I worked to impress  you. I couldn't even sleep with anyone else because my heart had chosen long ago while it took me so long to realize its decision." He let my hand go and motioned for the couch that sat across from his. Seeing no reason to say no, I went over and sat.

"I was meeting with the owner of a karaoke bar when I heard the most beautiful voice I had ever heard. I followed it to find a dark haired, violet eyed bird singing for fun with her friends who didn't even realize what they were staring at. I knew from that moment that I needed not only to possess that bird but make it mine in every way but the way I knew would one day come to be. I never told you about myself because it was too painful. But I used to be married." The buzz in my bones silenced and I looked to his hand to see the pale band of skin where a ring had obviously once been. Married? No. I would have known.

"Used to be?" He looked up to me and with sorrow in his orbs nodded.

"What happened?" He stood and went behind the bar to retrieve the bottle I had been drinking from and poured some into a short glass.

"She was killed." With the line of work Boss was in I had no doubt that she was targeted because of him.

"She was pregnant with our child but died in a hit and run." Boss was a father? This was so much to take in. A wife, and now an unborn child. I didn't dare say more as he was finally opening his heart a little for me to see.

"I cannot allow myself to feel that way for anyone ever again. The people I care about around me die and I will not allow the bird I have pruned and trained to become the very same. I will not love you and will not marry you." Understanding passed through me like a spirit passing on to the other side.

He had once been married to a woman he loved so much that he was going to have a family with her. It had all at once been taken from him because of his position. Ever since her death he hadn't allowed himself to love or be loved for fear that he would one day lose them in the same manner.

"I understand. This was him showing his love. Showing how much he cared by protecting me from the world." I stood and bowed a little to him in apology.

"Forgive my actions for today. I had drank too much and had allowed for my feelings to control me. I will not do any such thing again. I promise." I stayed still as I allowed him time to find a punishment deemed worthy enough for me.

"This discussion is over. I will have Charlie go and gather your friends and things and bring them here by morning. We cannot stay here any longer. Stay in this room while I go and book a different room closer to the main doors so that we can make a quick get away." He left me in the room bowing and out of fear of falling over from being dizzy, I sat back down and felt my temple throb with the beginnings of a hangover.

A few minutes later, the door opened and closed quietly as Boss returned. I had closed my eyes to keep the light from causing me anymore of a headache. When I lifted my head I noticed that instead of Boss was a hotel luggage carrier with a gun in his hand.

"Wha-" He pointed it at me and with deep rage in his eyes rushed to me and slammed the butt of the gun against my temple, knocking me into a darkness that welcomed me with open arms.