🆆🅴🅱 🅲🅰🅼 | 𝘊𝘩𝘰𝘪 𝘉𝘦𝘰𝘮𝘨𝘺𝘶 (Currently Editing)

－Ｐｓｙｃｈｏｐａｔｈ－

[Choi Beomgyu's point of view.] 

{Please read in dark mode and play the music above while reading}

READ THE WARNING CHAPTER AT THE BEGINNING BEFORE CONTINUING! I'M SICK OF PEOPLE TELLING ME THAT THE BOOKS ARE TOO CRUEL AND LEAVING. READ THE WARNINGS!

Any normal person would tell you that your mind is full of multiple wonderful emotions. If you asked them what their favourite was they'd probably say "Happiness." Happiness, eh? What a poor excuse for an emotion.

I used to believe in happiness too, but that was before my life was turned upside down . . . He ruined it . . . He ruined me! He- Ḫ̵̛̮͎͚͍̻̤̊̍̌͌͒̀̚͠E̵͈͖͊! NO!!!- No...?

Anyway, that's off topic! Haha! How pathetic of me to trail off from my own thoughts. Why do I even talk to myself like this? For comfort? Because I feel sorry for myself? Because... Because I can?

Nah, Beomgyu, you're getting distracted again. So... About the emotions. In my theory there are only 5 human emotions. Those emotions are; Sadness, Fear, Anger, Jealousy and contentment, not happiness, just contentment.

I for one have never experienced more than 5 emotions, some far more than others. Others... The others feel much less fear than I do, yet they still complain about it. I remember when I was younger and all the kids would be scared to go out at night, meanwhile I was afraid to be in my own home- house! I was afraid to be in my own house when my mom was working nightshifts. Why? Because of him... He ruined me. Because of him I have no social life, no joy, no happy memories, nothing.

To be honest with myself, the only thing keeping me from ending it all is a new hobby that I've picked up. I've recently had access to technology because my mother gifted me a phone as I am starting collage soon. Do you want to know a secret? My mother left 2 weeks ago and never came back. You want to know an even bigger secret?... Nah, we'll leave that for another time.

So, on the internet there is this thing called "YouTube." Through YouTube I was able to learn something that they describe as "Hacking." I've had my ups and downs with it but over time I was able to reach the place I've been trying to find, the dark web.

I've heard a bit about the website and wanted to check it out. I told myself "I'll only browse around for a few minutes" but eventually I ended up hooked, obsessed even. I spend hours upon hours per day just staring at my screen in awe. But you know what? It isn't the dark web itself that excites me, it's one feature in particular.

There is a page there that allows you to see people through their webcams, you know, the little black dot at the top of your device that everybody thinks is just a camera yet it also enables creeps and perverts to look at you for hours on end? Yeah, that thing. I'd recommend covering yours to stay safe. However, in my case I'm addicted to being one of those "Creeps." I was scrolling through web cams one day and I decided to set one of the filters to search for people near me. I came across someone interesting, a special person, somebody I recognised.

Her name is Y/N Y/L/N and she lives nearby, which is convenient for me. When I saw her for the first time it was from her phone. She was using one of those apps that are usually titled "Mouse game for cats" or something of the sort, it wasn't for her, it was obviously for her cat. Most of the time I was seeing the cat, which I learnt was called Luna. Other times I was seeing her/him.

S/he had these wonderful E/C eyes and a smile that could melt your entire heart in an instant. I could watch her/him for days. I know that happiness doesn't exist, but s/he doesn't know it, and I would never tell her/him. I'd be able to pretend to be happy if it meant meeting her/him in real life. That'd mean the world to me... It's my only goal before I die, meeting her/him.

Sadly, s/he has her/his web-cam covered on the majority of her/his devices, all of which I've managed to hack into and find her/his pictures. I know her/his Instagram account despite it being private, I used a website named "Insta-Stalker" to see her/his posts. There are no traces of me using the website. My lock screen is her/him, my home screen is her/him, my whole life is now solely dedicated to her/him. Hell, I even have a shrine ready for the day that I meet her/him. Anything s/he touches is worth a fortune to me. 

I promised myself that I'd meet her/him before death tears me away from this world, even if it costs me my last breath, I PROMISE.

As for now, I'll just listen to my favourite song and watch her iPhone webcam, waiting for her/him to peel the small square of duct tape off of it... Waiting.