Toxic Love

Letters

Things between Draco and I had gone a little bit closer to normal as the first month of school passed us by. Pansy was still being a pain but she always has been jealous of what I have. Whether it be talent, bravery, a personality, or Draco, she was always jealous of something. I couldn't stand her but Draco was insistent that she and I became friends. I didn't enjoy the time we spent. The whole time she would just bully people, talk down on everyone and judge others. Truth be told I felt awful about the whole thing. It seemed like Draco wanted her to rub off on me but that was never going to happen.

We had been going on dates again though so I was really enjoying that. Although one that was supposed to be a fancy date he did show up for in a t-shirt which was pretty embarrassing for me. The little dates were nice though. Picnics and walks through the gardens and greenhouses where my favourites. One night we went up to the astronomy tower to look at the stars together. It was beautiful. He also had taken to buying me a lot of gifts instead of apologizing for upsetting me.

He didn't stop trying to pick fights or getting mad at me or others which I didn't like. It just seemed like he was trying to buy me and that made me feel kind of gross. I brought it up to Luna one time but it didn't really help. She suggested I tell him that and when I did he got really sad because he just wanted to spoil me he said. It was a difficult month to navigate.

I spent most of my time alone because they only people Draco would permit me to be around were Luna, Pansy, Daphne, Tracey and himself when I was alone. If I was with anyone else he had to be present or it was a fight. I was hanging out in the great hall writing a letter to my younger brother. He wasn't in Hogwarts yet and I missed him dearly. Sitting in the great hall did wonders for my mood. It made me feel like I was part of something without actually being a part of something. Draco came up to me with Crabbe and Goyle. They sat in front of me and Draco to the side.

"What are you writing love?" he asked snatching my parchment.

"A letter to my brother." I said taking it back.

"Well let me read it! If it's just a letter to your brother what would it matter."

"It's private Draco!"

"I thought we don't keep secrets?" he taunted.

"I don't. There's a difference between a secret and wanting to have a private conversation with my brother. I don't ask to see your letters to your family."

"No that would be ridiculous."

"And you asking me isn't because...?"

"Because you have something to hide."

"No I don't, I just don't appreciate you invading my personal family life right now. I'm just telling him about the first month of school. Get off my case, love."

"(y/n) let me read that letter."

"No."

"I don't think you should be sending letters anymore."

"That's fucking nice. Good luck stopping me."

"Either you let me read what you're sending out or you're not sending anything else out." He said as if it where the most reasonable thing in the world.

"I will absolutely not do either of those things."

"You're impossible."

"Why are you so worried Draco? What do you think I'm telling him? Are you worried about things you've done that would anger my family?" I asked giving him as much attitude as I could muster.

"Of course not. You wouldn't tell them about those types of things. Ruin my reputation? That'd be awfully foolish of you." He said with a forced smile.

"It's awfully foolish of you," I said poking his nose making Crabbe and Goyle laugh. "to think that you can intimidate me at all. I thought I proved enough times that you literally do not scare me at all. Empty threats aren't going to phase me."

"And if they weren't empty?"

"So you're actually sitting here in a room full of people threatening me? Smart Dray. Real smart." I went back to me letter but he snatched it again. "Give it the fuck back!"

"No." he folded it and put it in the pocket of his robe.

"What are you so fucking worried about?"

"I don't think you're sending a letter to your brother. You haven't spoken about him in weeks."

"I haven't spoken about him to you. You haven't given me a chance to. Ask Luna, she's heard all about him and the letters we've been sending back and forth since I got here. It's hard on him when I'm gone. You know that."

"I think you're sending letters to another boy. Not your brother."

"So that's what this is. You're jealous."

"I'm not."

"Are you kidding me?" I asked laughing at him. "You're not letting me write a letter because you're concerned I'm writing to another boy? As if I've so much thought of another boy besides you since meeting you."

"You flirt with people all the time. How am I to know that?"

"Draco I think you're projecting yourself onto me. Is that why you don't trust me? You're doing some shady shit and are worried I'm doing the same?"

"No I've done nothing wrong! You're the one constantly flirting with Zambini."

"Oh give it a rest with fucking Zambini! I don't like him or flirt with him. What about Pansy? You flirt with her constantly. I'm not allowed to talk to my friend Blaise anymore or even Crabbe and Goyle alone but you can flirt with Pansy in front of me every day? What is the deal with that?"

"That's none of your business." He said curtly, breaking my heart a little that he didn't deny it.

"Excuse me?" I exclaimed standing up. "In what world is you flirting with another girl all the time not my business? These double standards are ridiculous Draco. If you get to tell me who I can't hangout with I should be able to do the same. If I can't speak to Blaise I don't want you speaking to Pansy."

"That will not happen. Come with me. Now." He murmured quietly pulling me roughly behind him. He stopped us in the hall and shoved me hard against the wall.

"Ow that fucking hurt."

"Stop being a bitch and I wouldn't need to push you around."

"You're on thin fucking ice Malfoy. What do you want." I demanded.

"Don't you ever embarrass me in front of my friends again do you hear me? You think you can boss me around? Absolutely not. I'm not going to let a little pathetic girl tell me what I can and cannot do." He yelled slamming his hand above my head on the wall. I flinched.

"Draco stop you're scaring me."

"I don't care! You will respect me and what I do. I will not submit to you and your wishes. You're not the boss of me and I will not tolerate being treated like a child by the likes of you." He slammed his hand again and I pushed him away.

"I said you're scaring me!" I yelled, echoing through the hallway. A tear slipped out of my eye and I wiped it away angrily. He came towards me to grab my hand and I backed into a large body. I almost fell but a pair of large hands steadied me.

"Oi lovebirds what seems to be the problem?" A Weasley asked coming in between Draco and I. I assumed the other one was holding me but my panic attack I was now in the middle of would not allow it.

"None of your business Weasley. Get your filthy hands off my girlfriend." He sneered pulling me towards him. I pushed him away and ran down the hallway.

"Looks like you need to get your hands off your girlfriend Malfoy." I heard one of them say as I ran. I would've laughed at Draco's face if I hadn't been so upset. I ran and ran until I got to a hidden away hole in the wall to hide in until I calmed down. No one ever went here so I was finally at ease in my special spot.