I won't die for you (but maybe I'll stand beside you)

Fire Eyes and No Lies

Scott picks up on the third ring, just as Liam is starting to hyperventilate slightly.
"Liam?"
It sounds like Scott is with his family, it's loud on his end of the phone. If Liam could concentrate he would probably be able to pick out individual voices. When Liam doesn't say anything Scott speaks again, sounding worried.
"Liam? Is everything alright?"
"I. I think I've made a mistake."
The noise fades and Liam hears a door creak shut.
"Is this about Theo?"
Liam blinks and some of the panicked haze clouding his vision fades.
"How do you know about-?"
There's a quiet laugh.
"Theo told Stiles, so of course I know."
Liam sinks down onto his bed.
"I've hurt him. I don't really know how."
"Do you really not know? Or are you just telling yourself that."
Scott sounds exasperated.
Liam hunches in on himself and exhales forcefully.
"You're smarter than this, Liam." Scott says, more gently then Liam deserves.
Liam sighs and hears Scott laugh softly.
"This is your own problem, Liam, and you've got to sort it out on your own."
There's a moment where the only sound is the distant chatter of Scott's family.
"If you think it'll work, you need to make it." Scott says quietly. "Theo is, well, volatile. You know that. You should be careful with him."
Liam frowns at his feet.
"I know what I'm getting into." Liam mumbles.
A chair creaks and Scott hums.
"You know him better than I do now. Just... remember his past."
Liam distantly realizes that there are tears on his cheeks and the hand on his knee is shaking.
"I don't know if he'll let me in again. I've just ruined years of conversations."
Scott actually full-blown laughs this time, and Liam can practically see his curls flopping in his face and the way his eyes squeeze nearly shut with it.
"If the way Stiles was complaining about it yesterday is any indication of how Theo feels, you're fine, Liam."
Liam nearly smiles before he remembers that it doesn't matter what Theo said yesterday.
"What do I do, Scott?" He asks quietly after a moment.
"You figure out what you need to say, and then you find a way to make him listen." Scott replies.
Liam sighs again and nods, even though he knows Scott can't see him.
"I've got to go." Scott says suddenly, his voice sounding distant.
Liam hums and clutches his phone.
"Thanks, Scott." He mumbles.
There's some shuffling on the other side of the line, like Scott is nodding, before he seems to remember Liam can't see him.
"No problem Liam." He pauses. "For what it's worth, I think you two balance each other well. You're a good fit."
Liam sniffles and coughs awkwardly, causing Scott to laugh gently.
"See you, Liam."
"Yeah. Bye."
There's the click of the call ending and Liam sets the phone on his lap, wrapping both hands around it and squeezing.
There's creaking and then the sound of his mother's voice calling his name.
"Yeah, mom?" He croaks.
"Liam?"
The door creaks open to show his mother, staring at him with a worried frown.
"Where's Theo, love?" she asks.
Liam coughs guiltily and glances down at his hands.
"I messed up."
The bed sinks beside him and he just goes with it, sinking into his mother's side.
"Then you need to fix it." She says simply.
Liam buries his face in her sweater, letting her wrap an arm around him and rub his shoulder.
"I don't know if I can." He mumbles.
"Well, you can't sit here like this."
"It's Christmas, mom."
"And if you cry into your dessert it will be worse than if you're not here."
Liam looks up at her to see her smiling sadly at him.
"If you make it back it would be great, but I'd rather see you happy with Theo than stay here and be miserable."
"Theo could wait." Liam says desperately.
"If you really love him you won't make him. I bet he's in the same state as you are right now." Jenna says, holding him away from her by his shoulders.
Liam feels like he's five again and she's explaining why his great grandma wasn't there for Thanksgiving.
"You two looked so happy, Liam. You can't give that up."
Liam feels more tears fall down his cheeks. His mom wipes them away with her thumbs and then gently pulls him up to standing.
"Now. You go get cleaned up and go after him. Don't bother packing, you'll either be back to get it or we'll bring it to you."
Liam nods and runs a hand through his hair.
"Thanks, mom." He says quietly.
She smiles at him and drags him to the door.
"Let's go now, don't let him get away, Liam."
Liam bolts down the stairs, possibly going just a bit too fast to be normal.
His mom laughs after him.
It's only once he gets onto his driveway that he realizes he has no idea where to go. Theo could be anywhere right now. Liam sinks back against his car and tips his head back to look up at the sky. Really, Theo doesn't have many places to go. He's probably heading back to the university right now. Liam takes a moment to breathe before he opens the door and folds himself into his car. If Theo isn't there he can figure it out afterward. If he leaves now he might even beat Theo to his apartment.
He probably goes a little too fast on the highway, but in a strange stroke of luck, he's not pulled over. When he arrives at Theo's apartment block there's a taxi just pulling away and a boy trudging up the sidewalk. Liam is out of his car almost before he's fully parked.
"Theo! Wait!"
The boy turns around.
It's not him. Liam stumbles to a stop a couple feet from the guy.
"You're not-"
The guy shakes his head.
"Sorry, bro. Good luck finding him."
Liam doesn't have it in him to say anything else and the guy just shrugs at him before disappearing into the apartment building. Liam runs his fingers through his hair and tugs. He's halfway to panicking for no reason when there's a voice behind him. He hadn't even heard another car pull up.
"Liam?"
Theo's voice is small. Liam hates that he's made him sound like that. He whips around and finds Theo standing at the edge of the sidewalk, his suitcase gripped tightly in his hand. Liam opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. He just stares at Theo. The other boy's eyes are slightly red, and his knuckles are turning white from how tightly he's gripping the handle of his bag.
"What are you doing here?" Theo asks finally, avoiding looking at Liam as he starts to walk toward the entrance of his building.
Liam jerks into action and reaches for Theo's sleeve as he walks past, but Theo jumps away like Liam's touch would burn him.
"I- I needed to apologize." Liam mumbles, defeated.
Theo glances at him as he fumbles with his keys.
"For what. You can't change how you feel." He says coldly.
Theo finally gets the door open and slips inside. He tries to shut the door behind him but gives up with a sigh after Liam pushes back. He walks quickly down the hallway, practically radiating 'fuck off' vibes.
"Theo!"
Liam finally manages to grab onto Theo's shoulder and pulls them both to a stop. He knows that Theo could easily keep walking if he wanted to, but he doesn't. He just stares at the ground and fidgets with the handle of his bag.
"I was scared."
Theo snorts and stares at his feet. Liam growls in frustration because he seems to be saying all the wrong things. His fingers tighten on Theo's shoulder and he flinches. Liam lets go so fast he startles himself.
"Can you let me explain?!" Liam exclaims exasperatedly.
Theo finally meets his eyes.
"I don't want to hear your excuses right now."
Theo starts walking again and Liam has to take a couple of deep breaths before his eye-colour goes back to normal. Theo sighs when Liam walks up behind him, but he doesn't protest when Liam follows him into his room.
"Please just listen? I promise if you want me to, I'll leave right after." Liam pleads.
Theo groans, but he sits down on his couch and looks up at Liam expectantly.
"Well?" He asks after a moment of silence.
Liam blinks, his mind blank. He doesn't have a plan, he doesn't know what to say to explain the pure terror that had consumed him when he'd seen the look in Theo's eyes. Every second he's silent Theo's face gets more and more resigned. Like he thinks Liam is here to rub in his face that he doesn't feel the same.
"I was afraid." Liam says again and immediately cringes.
Theo glares at him.
"You've said that already. You still didn't say of what." He says with narrowed eyes.
Every inch of his body is drawn up defensively. Liam aches for the looseness that had been there that morning. He wants to take it back.
"It's scary!" Liam exclaims, pacing closer to Theo.
Theo leans back into the couch, away from him and laughs like there's nothing funny. Liam growls and steps so close that their knees are touching.
"You scare me, Theo. This-" he gestures between them, "wasn't supposed to mean anything."
"You think I'm not scared?" Theo shouts suddenly, springing to his feet and shoving at Liam's chest.
"Why do you think I ran off yesterday? But I didn't take it out on you!"
Liam steps back as Theo advances on him. He's got fire in his eyes now and Liam is actually a little scared of him. He hasn't been scared of Theo in years.
"Am I some kind of joke to you?" Theo cries, pushing Liam back. "oh, let's invite Theo to pretend to be my boyfriend for a week, sure it'll be a laugh! After all, how could it ever mean anything real?!"
Liam doesn't know what to say, his throat closes up on any words he could let out. He doesn't know how to deal with this Theo. This Theo is disappointed in him. This Theo looks wrecked and angry in a way he hasn't seen him in years.
"I-" Liam stutters, "I don't think this is a joke! I was stupid! I said something stupid! You of all people should know about mistakes!"
Theo takes a step back and his face shutters, his lips twisting into a sneer.
"You're gonna bring that up now?"
"You aren't letting me talk!"
"That doesn't mean you can use that against me!" Theo yells.
Both boys have red faces and Liam's hands are clenched by his sides. Liam's vision is going sharp in the way that it does when his eyes glow, and Theo's teeth are pointier than normal where they're bared at Liam. For a moment all they do is stand there, staring fiercely at each other. Liam breaks first. He's halfway to Theo before the other boy's hands come up to stop him. Liam doesn't stop, so they crash together so hard they go tumbling back onto the couch. Theo growls when his back hits the seat and pushes at Liam's chest. Somehow, they're kissing. Liam doesn't know who moved first, but there's teeth and Liam's hands gripping probably too tightly at Theo's shoulders. Theo breaks them apart forcefully.
"You can't just do this and expect everything to be fine." Theo pants, but his hands have somehow fisted in Liam's shirt, so Liam just leans down and kisses him again.
Theo kisses back desperately, like he thinks Liam is going to push him away and leave again. Liam only lets it go on for a couple of moments before he cups Theo's cheek and pulls away gently.
"I should never have said that. I know that being scared isn't an excuse, but it's the only explanation I can offer. I was afraid. Afraid of how much I was feeling." Liam whispers, feeling a little broken inside.
Theo's staring up at him with vulnerability in his eyes, his hands curled loosely around Liam's waist.
"This-" Liam continues, letting go of Theo's cheek to gesture between them again, "it's big. And I've never. I haven't done this since Hayden."
Theo's hands clench reflectively at the mention of Hayden's name and Liam grins a little.
"I've never-" Theo starts before cutting himself off and turning away as much as he can with Liam laying on him.
"I know."
Liam knocks Theo on the side of the head gently.
"I know you better than anyone else now. Or have you forgotten that we're a weird kind of friends?" He says with a short laugh.
Theo smiles slowly, it's still a bit fragile around the edges.
"I'm sorry, Theo. You aren't nothing to me." Liam says softly. "You haven't ever been nothing."
"Not even when I was a dick?"
"Hating you isn't nothing." Liam grins, but the smile falls off his face when he sees the look in Theo's eyes.
"Hey, you made up for all that. A long time ago." He's quick to say.
Theo ducks his chin and his fingers fiddle with the edge of Liam's shirt.
"Scott might not approve."
"I've already talked to him. He's fine. Told me I needed to get my head out of my ass actually." Liam says with a sheepish grin.
Theo laughs and Liam glares playfully at him before rolling to the floor. Theo quickly rolls too so he can peer down at him.
"What are you doing?"
"I can't think like that." He says, waving his hands around vaguely.
Theo raises an eyebrow.
"Are you gonna apologize more?" He asks.
Liam closes his eyes and rubs at his face.
"I feel like I can't make this up to you. Ever."
Theo rolls his eyes.
"As you said, I'm not one to talk about mistakes."
Liam groans and squeezes his eyes shut.
"You know I didn't mean that right?" He mumbles, pressing the palms of his hands into his eyes.
"You kinda did though, Liam."
Liam shakes his head, "No!"
"You've made up for all that ten times over, Theo."
Liam can hear Theo flop back onto the couch and he opens his eyes slowly before sitting up to look at him.
"You have. You're a better person now, Theo. Everyone knows it, even Scott and Stiles. You talked to one of them, you should know this." He says, reaching out to touch Theo's arm.
"I know. I'm just. I feel like I'm chasing the impossible again. Except this time it's not power, it's just plain old-" he glances quickly at Liam and swallows, "love."
Liam blinks. His mind spins, wondering when that happened and why he's not freaking out. Usually he's not a 'love in the first couple days' kinda guy. But Theo looks so scared behind the cheeky grin he's wearing. Like he thinks maybe with that word Liam will just decide he didn't really mean it and that he's just going to walk away. He thinks maybe it's been a long time coming. Maybe years, since Theo saved him and was saved in return. Since Theo helped him stay sane while running the pack after Scott left. Since they decided to go to the same university, but Liam couldn't work up the courage to ask if Theo wanted to live with him.
"If I'd asked you to live with me the first year, would you have done it?" Liam blurts out.
Theo raises his eyebrows, but at least he stops looking so scared.
"Are you asking me to move in?"
"No. Yes? Just answer the damn question, Theo."
Theo rolls his eyes but answers slowly, "Probably. Why?"
"I don't know. I think I love you."
Theo looks like he's about to laugh. Liam groans and shoves his face into the couch.
"I think I love you too, Liam."
Liam grins into the cushions and feels Theo's fingers brush through his hair.
He thinks maybe asking Theo to be his fake boyfriend wasn't such a stupid idea after all.
Which reminds him.
"You still have to meet my family." He says, looking up at Theo.
The fingers stop moving through his hair and he frowns. Theo smirks and the motions resume.
"We're going back?"
"I mean. Unless you don't want to?" Liam trails off unsurely.
That one sentence means a lot of things. Unless you don't want to be with me. Unless you don't want to meet my family. Unless I've hurt you so bad you can't be around me and this affection is all just a ruse to make me leave you alone. To be fair. That last one is a bit extreme and doesn't really make sense.
"I do. But. Are we?" Theo makes a confusing gesture with his hand and then shrugs.
Liam leans back and frowns at him, hoping his expression conveys just how confused he is. Unfortunately, that means Theo is no longer touching him. But really, he couldn't concentrate like that anyway.
"You know. Are we together." Theo finishes, folding his hands together on his lap and staring at them.
Liam nearly screams in frustration.
"Do you need me to literally spell it out for you?" He exclaims, standing up just to plop down across Theo's stomach.
Theo lets out a strained groan but allows Liam to squish his face with his hands.
"I literally just said I thought I love you. Does that sound like someone who isn't going to be actually, really with you?"
Liam takes a moment to evaluate how much of his vocabulary has come from Lydia.
"Of course we'll be together you absolute idiot."
Theo glares at him, but the effect is kind of dampened by the way his cheeks are squished up.
"I hate you."
"I know. But you're still gonna meet my family and you're going to love it."
Theo sighs and rips Liam's hands off his cheeks.
"Tomorrow. First, we're gonna pretend we just woke up together and I'm going to ask you again what this is."
Liam leans down and kisses Theo gently.
"It's everything."

*****
Welp, that's it folks! Be sure to comment if you enjoyed! You can also find me these places:
Tumblr: iwritefanfictionsometimes
Ao3: i_write_fanfiction_sometimes (I'm more active w stories there)

I hope you had a good time with Theo and Liam, love you all

xxxxx

S.H