I won't die for you (but maybe I'll stand beside you)

The Storm

So here he is, standing with his forehead pressed against cool glass watching the snow fall as Liam stands behind him, radiating warmth.
"What are you talking about?" Liam asks finally.
"I don't know how you haven't figured it out yet."
Theo can sense that Liam is starting to get pissed off by the way his heart is pounding.
"I don't 'get' it because you're being an evasive idiot Theo!"
Theo finally turns around and takes in how Liam is standing. His hands clenched into fists and his eyes glowing slightly. Theo rubs his own hands together and walks toward Liam.
"I-"
"Boys?" Jenna's voice comes from the other side of the door.
Theo watches Liam's face shutter and his eyes close.
"Yeah, mom?" He calls, shaking out his hands.
Theo knows he's trying to calm down.
"Are you alright in there?" she asks.
"Yup." Liam answers in a falsely cheery voice.
"Okay..." she drags out in a disbelieving tone.
Theo hangs his head and groans under his breath.
Liam gives him a sharp look and Theo sighs and walks over to the bed. He knows that they aren't going to be talking anymore tonight. He slides under the covers and faces the wall, face practically touching it. He shuts his eyes and evens out his breathing.
"Liam, can you come out of there?" Jenna asks, and then there's the sound of the bedroom door opening.
Liam shuts it with a little more force than is probably necessary and Theo internally cringes.
"Are you two okay?"
Jenna sounds concerned and Theo curls deeper into the blankets with guilt.
"Of course."
"Really? Because it seems like all you guys have done is fight since you got here."
Theo squeezes his eyes shut and tries to will away his supernatural hearing.
"We're just." Liam pauses and Theo clenches his hands.
'We're just a mess and we should have never done this." Theo thinks, and misses Liam's actual answer.
"Fine, but you two need to be quiet now, because your dad and I need to sleep so that we can actually deal with your grandparents tomorrow."
There's some creaking floorboards and Theo buries his head in his pillow.
When the door finally opens and Liam walks in, Theo pretends to be asleep.
"Theo?" Liam whispers.
The bed sinks down and Theo very forcefully relaxes his spine. Liam sighs when he doesn't reply and shifts around until he's laying down.
"I'm sorry if you hate me because of this." Liam whispers and Theo has to breathe very slowly to keep up his ruse.
"I didn't mean for anything like this to happen while we were here. I honestly thought we would just go back to normal after this. Probably stupid I guess."
Theo shifts and hears Liam obviously tenses. The room is silent for a bit while Liam judges if Theo was waking up. He must decide that he's asleep, because he slowly shifts around and clears his throat.
"Goodnight Theo." Liam whispers.
------

Liam wakes up to warmth along his entire back and Theo's breath against his neck. It's startling, how safe he feels. There's a hand pressed to his sternum and a leg around his knees, and Liam feels soft.
It's not the most intimate they've been at this point, but it feels like it.
Liam squirms around until he's facing Theo and then inhales slowly at the sight of the other boy's sleeping face.
Theo looks younger than Liam has ever seen, and abruptly Liam wants to slap his past self. He doesn't know what's wrong with Theo, no matter how obvious it apparently is, but it seems to be something about Liam that's hurting him.
Liam absently slides a hand up to touch Theo's cheek.
Theo frowns slightly in his sleep and Liam brushes a strand of hair away from his eyes.
"What am I doing wrong?" Liam whispers.
The arm around his back tightens compulsively. Liam feels his face heat up when he realizes just how close they are.
He's glad that Theo seems to be sound asleep, the way Liam's breath is hitching is embarrassing.
He needs to get out of here before Theo wakes up and something goes wrong.
He's just wiggling around to try and loosen Theo's arm when the other boy sighs and blinks slowly.
"Liam?"
Liam stills, transfixed by the brightness of Theo's eyes. His hand is reaching for Theo's face before he even processes the thought.
Theo frowns at the palm on his cheek and stares over at Liam with vulnerability in his eyes. Liam swallows.
"What are you doing?" Theo whispers hesitantly.
"I don't know."
Theo doesn't stop him from dragging his fingers down to press against his jaw. They're both very still for a moment as Liam takes in Theo's hazy eyes and the hand fisted in the back of his shirt. He hadn't even noticed Theo grabbing him.
Theo seems to be searching for something.
"Have you figured it out yet?" He mumbles.
Liam shakes his head, the pillow pulling at his hair. Theo shuffles around and then there's a thumb pressed to his lips.
"You're an idiot sometimes." Theo breathes and kisses him.
Liam's eyes shut automatically at the first soft press of lips. Then they fly open and his hand clenches at where Theo's face had been.
Theo is soft but insistent and Liam can't help but relax into the bed. He reaches up to touch the back of Theo's neck.
There's stiffness in the way Theo is holding him, like he's desperate and also afraid that Liam is going to pull away. In an effort to show Theo exactly what Liam thinks of leaving, he rolls so that he's laying partially on top of Theo with both hands cupping his head.
Liam doesn't think about it a lot, the way he's always been a bit drawn to the smirk at the corner of Theo's mouth and the way his mouth goes a bit dry when his eyes glow, but when he does it's to scoff and deny any thoughts at all.
He knows he can't ignore it anymore though. Not after he's heard the soft way Theo gasps when Liam carefully swipes his tongue across his lips. Not after Theo's hands have pressed against his spine like they are. Not after he's kissed him without any anger or fear.
Liam feels like crying when he pulls away and takes in the dazed look in Theo's eyes, the hesitant way he reaches to touch Liam's cheek.
"What?" Theo clears his throat and absently slides a hand along Liam's back.
Liam can't speak.
"What is this?" Theo asks finally.
He stares up at Liam with a frightening intensity and Liam licks his lips nervously.
His arms are starting to quiver from holding him up over Theo so he sinks down. They're pressed close from head to toe when Liam eventually opens his mouth. Theo looks open and vulnerable and suddenly the amount of emotions he's feeling scares Liam. He abruptly wants to get out as fast as he can. He can't deal with Theo looking at him like that, like Liam hold his entire heart and like Liam is everything he's ever wanted. So he says the one thing he doesn't mean.
"Nothing."
Theo jerks back as much as he can while he's laying on his back and then Liam is falling sideways.
He blinks up at the ceiling and feels his chest squeeze at his own words.
Theo is breathing heavily next to him.
"I. I can't do this."
Liam jerks to look at the other boy.
"What?!"
Theo won't meet his eyes, but his shoulders are shaking and Liam feels panic well in his throat.
He made Theo look like that. Theo is leaving him.
"You can't leave!" He says wildly.
"I can't stay." Theo chokes out and moves with superhuman speed out of the bed.
Liam jumps up and strides toward Theo.
Theo already has his bags zipped up and slung over his shoulder by the time Liam reaches for his arm.
"I can't do this without you."
"Well, you're going to have to." Theo snarls and Liam steps back, shocked.
Theo is practically burning with anger. Liam slumps before him.
"What did I do?" Liam asks quietly.
Theo pins him with a glare and Liam shrinks back.
"If I have to explain then you aren't just an idiot, Liam." Theo says.
Liam knows what he did. But he couldn't. It would've never worked anyway. He can't possibly make Theo happy. The way Theo is glaring at him now just confirms it.
"What will I tell my mom?"
"She already thinks we're on the verge of a breakup, I guess you should just confirm that." Theo replies cruelly.
Liam doesn't know what he expected. Of course he's angry, Liam had seen exactly how hopeful he'd been. While Liam stands, staring blindly at his wallpaper, Theo storms out. Liam only moves when he hears the front door slam.
He distantly realizes that there's tears on his cheeks, but he's more preoccupied by the way his heart feels like it's ripping.
Liam has never thought of himself as cruel, but what he just did? That was the cruellest thing you can do. Liam wants to punch things.
He calls Scott.
———

Theo just stands outside the door for a bit. He can feel the tears burning in his eyes, but refuses to let them fall.
For a second he'd let his hopes up. There'd been something in Liam's eyes...
But no, he needed to leave.
Theo squares his shoulders and trudges away from Liam's front porch. His suitcase bumps along behind him.
There's a finality about leaving now. Like Theo could never see Liam again. It's a stupid thought, because they go to the same university and have some of the same classes, but Theo scrubs his eyes furiously at the notion.
He feels his heart jump at footsteps pounding behind him, but it's just a girl who blows by him without a word.
Theo clenches his free hand around his backpack straps and strides forward with faked determination.
He's got a bus to catch.