Mr. and Mrs. Styles (Zarry)

Chapter 36

It was around 8 when Harry woke up, Zayn still on top of him, sleeping peacefully, his jet black hair sticking onto his forehead, the sight was beautiful and Harry's favorite thing about it was how long and curly Zayn's eyelashes were.

Harry didn't want to move, or wake Zayn up, he could feel Zayn's heartbeat on his naked chest, Zayn's heart was beating faster, well he is smaller so it probably makes sense.

He was lost in the thought of comparing his heart beat with Zayn's and studying it that he didn't notice the smaller boy is awake.

You think nothing can wake Zayn up, and you are almost right, but Harry's slow heart beat was a lullaby for Zayn, slow and calm, but he felt Harry's heart going boom boom all of the sudden and well, it woke him up.

Zayn pulled himself up, still hazy from the deep slumber, he frowned, looking at Harry with questioning eyes, "are you alright?"

Harry was just staring at Zayn, admiring his deep accent, at some point he stopped breathing.

Zayn pulled himself completely up, almost sitting on Harry's lap, "what's wrong? Harry?" he tried again, a little scared.

Just a bit.

His green eyes were dry from not blinking for so long, his breathing was slow and shallow, almost as if he wasn't breathing, his mind was blank, just like his eyes, Zayn couldn't read him.

Zayn knew this happens when Harry is nervous, he needs a little time to come back, maybe a bit of comfort.

Kneeling next to the couch, Zayn decided to play with Harry's hair, reminding him to breathe, that its ok, that he is there.

"I'm here Harry, just breathe, I'm right here," next was always 'you'll never be alone', he used to say that, but he left, he knows nothing is permanent anyway.

Harry was chanting Zayn's every word in his head, it felt like hours till he was back to reality, he turned his head to face Zayn, "you are here, you are right here, and I'll never be alone... right? that's what you used to say at least." Harry said, eyes a little wet, not from crying, no, from staring at nothing for so long.

Zayn's stare was hollow, suddenly emotionless, almost scary, he slowly pulled his fingers away from Harry's curls, "I'll go to bed, goodnight." And he walked out.

Harry wanted to laugh, really loud, or maybe break something.

He laid there, deciding to not to think much, just waiting for the day Zayn leaves again, who knows maybe he wakes up alone again.

The thought of that gave him chills, he felt cold sweat on the back of his neck.

Food, he needs food.

It was around 9 and he just needed something greasy.

something cheesy and greasy.

Walking to the kitchen, he prayed he still has some lasagna in the freezer.

"yes!" he mumbled when he saw there is still some left, he popped it in the oven and opened a beer for himself.

Gulping down the liquid, Harry shot a glance to his bedroom, their bedroom, he chuckled wondering how long does he have to live in the fear of being left alone, how long does he have to push to get answers from Zayn.

You see, Harry is not the one to move on, he just can't, a simple reminder is enough to bring all the memories, every detail, back.

It could be a song, a picture, a word, a smell, a simple paper cut on his finger, and they are all back, making him run in the tunnel of his past, sometimes losing the time, staring at the walls for hours, just having to deal with unwanted souvenirs of bygones.