Not This Time

Jon: July 13, 2013

     "Thank you," I muttered to the nurse as she left me in the room with Nina. I stepped over to her lazily, hands in my pockets. She was still unconscious, so when my text tone went off, it seemed obnoxiously loud. I winced and fumbled to pull my phone out of my back pocket. As I checked the message, I also switched the phone to silent.
     Dotty: Got it. I'll bring it with me tomorrow. Love you.
     I smiled and texted back: Thanks babe. Love you too.
     Then I put my phone away and looked back up at Nina. She seemed to be breathing a lot easier now. With a yawn, I made my way over to a small armchair over by the only window in the room. I had no idea how much longer Nina would be asleep and I was worn out myself. I hadn't slept at all since before show. I'd been up all night in the waiting room, making calls while Nina was having tests done to determine what was wrong with her.
     I'd talked to Dotty and told her what had happened. David had called to find out what all the drama at the venue was about and where I was, so I'd had to fill him in as well. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the wall. I didn't want to be asleep when Nina woke up, but I was so tired. After a moment, I finally opened my eyes again and looked over at her. There was no way I was taking my eyes off her while she was asleep. The last time I did that, she disappeared.
     "Nina?" some guy called out as he appeared in the doorway. Just like my phone, his voice seemed unnaturally loud. I flinched and waved my arms back at him.
     "Shut up!" I hissed across the room, "God, she's asleep!"
     The guy was still looking at Nina when he stepped into the room. He was probably about six feet tall. His dark hair was a shaggy mess, kind of like I wore mine just a few years ago. What really stood out, though, was the worry on his face. I watched him stop next to her bed and brush some of her hair aside affectionately. Then he remembered I was there. He looked up at me with a slightly confused expression and I offered a small, silent wave.
     "Jon Bon Jovi?" he mumbled, staring at me from the other side of her bed. I took a deep breath and nodded as I rose from my chair. With one more quick glance at Nina, he stepped around her bed to me and held out a hand for me to shake. "I'm Cade Mitchell, the lead guitar for Nina's band," he said quietly.
     I smirked as I returned his handshake. I wasn't blind. I could see from the way he looked at her that he wanted to be more than just her guitarist, if he wasn't already. I kept my mouth shut, though. It wasn't any of my business. I could ask Nina when she woke up.
     "What are you doing here?" he asked, crossing his arms and taking a step back so that he wasn't completely turned away from Nina.
     I nodded in Nina's direction. "She was backstage at my show when she passed out," I told him honestly. I hadn't spoken to anyone else about my history with Nina in more than two decades and I wasn't about to start now. "I don't know what happened. We were talking and then she started having chest pain and difficulty breathing." I shrugged. "I didn't want her to be alone. She was under my roof at the time. I feel kinda responsible."
     "Was it a heart attack?" he asked, glancing back at Nina once again. There was the concern again. I had to resist the urge to smile at his obvious affections for her. Instead, I shook my head.
     "No, the doctor explained it to me, but it was all a bunch of medical mumbo-jumbo, so most of it when right over my head," I explained. "He did say, though, that it was not a heart attack. That's the best I got for you."
     Cade chuckled and nodded. "Understood. I'm the same way. I'm just glad she's okay." I couldn't resist the little smile that crept onto my face. "You gonna stick around 'til she wakes up?"
     "I wish I could," he grumbled, holding up his wrist to look at his watch. "The bus is gonna be here any minute." He tucked his hand back into the cross of his arms and gazed over at her as he spoke. "Our manager cancelled a few shows to let her recoup, so we're going back to New York until she's ready. I'm not sure how she's getting back. I guess Brian's gonna book her a bus or plane ticket or something."
     "Wise choice," I sighed, stepping back over to the window to look out. I had already spoken to their manager when the hospital called him last night. He seemed like a good manager who actually cared. Nina was going to throw a fit when she found out her shows had been cancelled, but she'd have to deal with it.
     I didn't tell Cade because it would be too much to explain, but I was going to take Nina back to New York whenever she was released. I would have offered to take him with us, but there was too much that I still had to discuss with Nina. Too much that we couldn't talk about if Cade was there.
     "Speaking of your bus," I mumbled, staring down at the bus that had just pulled into the parking lot. It pulled across about eight parking spots and put on the blinkers. I watched, but nobody got out.
     Cade joined me at the window and looked down as well. The room was silent when his phone rang, which was probably why both of us jumped as high as we did. He gritted his teeth as he yanked his phone out of his pocket and answered it.
     "Yeah?" he snapped quietly as both of us looked over at Nina. She turned her head a little, drawing me back to her. That was the first movement she'd made since we'd gotten there. "She's asleep. I'll be down in a second. Alright, I know! Just a second!"
     Nina's eyes fluttered a little and she turned her head again toward Cade. I smiled a little. She was about to wake up. I turned to Cade just as he was hanging up his phone. He was muttering something out the window toward the bus, even though they couldn't hear him. Nina opened her eyes and blinked sleepily at Cade, then at me with a confused expression, then back at Cade.
     "Cade?" she sighed. He looked up from his phone and smiled.
     "Hey! You're awake!" he exclaimed excitedly. He dragged the arm chair I'd been sitting in earlier up next to me and sank into it, completely ignoring my presence as he took her hand. "How're you feeling?"
     "Little confused," she said, "Tired. What are you doing here?"
     "What am I doing here? Nina, you're in the hospital, where else would I be?"
     Nina smiled and stifled a laugh. I stepped back away from their conversation as she brought a hand up and set it heavily on Cade's cheek. "You're so sweet," she giggled lightly. She nodded to me. "What about him?"
     I smiled. She was messing with him.
     Cade looked back at me and then back at her. "He's just nice," he complimented in a gentle tone, "waiting for you to wake up." Nina smiled sarcastically in response. There was a ding and Cade groaned. "I've got to get going. The guys are getting impatient. They want to get home."
     "Home?"
     Cade stood and stuck his phone back in his pocket. "Yeah, back to New York for some rest."
     "We got a show tonight!" Nina protested, struggling to get upright. I scooted past Cade and started shifting pillows around as Cade helped her sit up.
     "No, we don't," he responded without missing a beat, "Brian said you're not allowed to tour until you've recovered. You've got to rest."
     I stepped back out of the way again as Nina leaned back on her pillows and glared at Cade. I knew she was going to be pissed. I was kinda glad Cade had broken the news to her so that I wouldn't have to. She sighed and shook her head.
     "How long?" she asked.
     Cade clenched his teeth. "Brian didn't say how long. He just said he was hopeful."
     Nina scoffed and looked past him, to me. "How long?" she insisted.
     I pursed my lips too. "A couple weeks."
     "A couple weeks?!" Nina spat, sitting up again to gape at me. "That's the end of our tour! We were supposed to headline these last few shows! The fans-"
     "Will understand!" I interrupted, stepping forward up next to Cade. "I talked to your manager already. He's issuing refunds and releasing a statement on your website that your tour is cancelled due to medical necessity."
     Cade looked over at me. "You talked to Brian?"
     "When the hospital called him, yeah."
     He raised an eyebrow. His expression looked a little amused, but I couldn't be sure. He didn't argue. He just turned back to Nina and let out a sigh, too. "Apparently Brian cancelled the tour then," he snickered, shaking his head.
     Nina looked like she wanted to protest, but Cade put his hand over her mouth to silence her. I could feel my eyebrows raise in surprise. When she and I were together, she would have twisted someone's arm around their back rather than have them put their hands anywhere near her face.
     "No buts, babe," Cade chuckled, "Just take it easy."
     Nina's glare was pure ice as she shoved his hand away from her face. "Don't call me that," she growled. Her eyes flicked to me for the briefest second before looking away. I could have sworn her face got a little pink, but I didn't dare say anything.
     Cade grinned and tousled her hair. "I'll see you back home, okay?"
     Back home. Those words struck a chord. I snuck a peek at Nina. Those words seem to resonate with her as well. Probably for the same reason. She didn't smile, but she didn't frown either, when she looked up at Cade and nodded. Honestly, she looked a little like she was trying not to cry.
     "It was awesome meeting you, man," Cade said to me as we shook hands one more time.  "Thank you for hanging here with her."
     "Not a problem," I replied.
     "See you later, Cade," Nina grumbled. Cade smirked at her and nodded on his way out.
     Nina and I both watched in silence as he walked out. Nina waited a few seconds after he'd disappeared from view before turning to me with a sharp, warning look. "Don't you dare," she snapped.
     I finally let that grin I'd been holding in the whole time spread across my face. I'd been around long enough to know what chemistry looked like. Had this been a couple decades earlier, I might have been jealous, but I'd given up on those emotions years ago. It was encouraging to see some possibility for her, no matter how much she denied it.
     "When did that happen?" I chuckled.
     She glared for a moment and then closed her eyes. "It didn't," she relented, "He wants it to, but I'm not interested as long as we're bandmates." She rolled her eyes with the slightest shake of her head. "All my bandmates are guys. I refuse to be another Evanescence."
     I could feel the confusion on my face. I didn't even know what that was supposed to mean, but I didn't feel like pushing it. She was supposed to be resting, not arguing. And, as much as it had been in the past, her love life was no longer really my concern. I sank into the chair Cade had pulled up and smiled at her.
     "I know losing your tour sucks, but there's good news."
     Nina gave me an annoyed sidelong glance.
     "You're gonna live."
     "That's the good news?" she mumbled under her breath before I got a chance to go on.
     I scoffed at her and went on anyway. "The doc tried to explain it to me," I told her, "Now I'm paraphrasing here from what I understood, but basically he said that when your heart is flooded with extreme amounts of stress, it stops working right, hence the pain and difficulty breathing." Nina started to look concerned, but I held a hand to stop her before she could get worked up again. "It's only temporary! You've got to rest and let your heart recover!"
     Nina closed her eyes and shook her head. She grumbled to herself under her breath. I let her fume for a minute; I just waited. There was so much still uncertain between us, but I didn't want to push any conversation with her. She'd already gotten so much information to absorb in just the few minutes she'd been awake.
     Her eyes were shadowed with dark circles, no doubt the result of countless sleepless nights on tour. I couldn't imagine she slept well on a tour bus, especially if she was forced to share one with the rest of her band. She looked like Slippery never ended for her. So much about her looked the same. Everything except her smile. I'd barely seen it since she'd showed up last night, but even when I had, it wasn't as bright. She wasn't the Nina I was used to. I wasn't sure how to talk to this Nina.
     "You feeling any better?" I asked gently after a moment.
     "I'm pissed."
     "I know," I agreed with a mirthless laugh, "I meant with the breathing and the chest pain.." I paused for a minute. "...and the emotions."
     Nina looked up at me then. The anger wasn't gone, but it was concealed. Even still, I knew it wasn't directed at me. From what I could tell, this Nina who started a band and would rather stay on the road than take care of herself was just angry in general. Angry, and also sad. Honestly, I couldn't say I blamed her after last night.
     "I'll be fine," she mumbled, looking away again, "I've got a few words for Matt."
     I sat back and nodded. I'd always suspected he'd had something to do with her disappearance, but that book was the closest thing I had to proof. Nobody would've believed time travel was part of the problem. I still wasn't sure I even believed it, though it was incredibly hard to deny with Nina right there in front of me, looking the way she did.
     She looked, though, like she was refusing to feel the emotions she'd gotten back last night. I had to wonder how long she'd been doing that, stuffing her emotions down. Maybe she'd given up running away in favor of hiding in plain sight. It was easier on stage where everyone in the crowd was blinded by the lights, so tour made sense. But that didn't make it any less sad.
     "You know it's okay to feel things, right?" I reminded her.
     She looked over at me like she might snap at me, but then she just bit her lip and nodded, looking back down at her blankets. "I know," she said quietly. She seemed like she wanted to say more, but I didn't press it. She peeked over at me and sighed, "I'm just going to need a few more answers before I let those emotions happen again. I don't want it to feel like it did last night."
     I thought about it and nodded. That was a fair point. "Do you want to talk about it?"
     "I need answers from Matt, not you," she said calmly.
     "So you don't want to talk about it?"
     She looked over at me again. "Why are you so okay with this?" she snapped. There was that look again, like she wanted to cry. It almost looked like tears were trying to well, but if they were, she ignored them. She gazed at me in frustrated expectation.
     I gazed back sympathetically. "I've had almost thirty years to get over it, Nina," I stated simply, "You've had, probably, thirty minutes. Give yourself a break." Nina took a deep breath and reached up to wipe away the first stray tear to slip down her face. I sighed and leaned toward her. "How about we focus on getting you out of the hospital and then we can figure out answers once we get back to New York, hmm?" I suggested.
     Nina didn't say anything for a long minute. Then she wiped her cheek with the ball of her hand and scrunched up her nose at me. "I always hated it when you were right," she grumbled, "You should really stop doing that." It was clear by her tone and the hint of a smile playing on her lips that she was joking, which was comforting. I smiled a hopeful smile. Maybe she would be okay after all.