Random stuff! Reveals, longer rants, etc.

My life

This is what happened on Christmas of 2020 and how it was good and bad, but mostly bad.

It's a common fact that I have very frequent mood swings. I can be happy one moment but five minutes later, I will be very sad. So think of my emotional state as a... as the ocean. Constantly changing.

Another thing is I can feel bad for anyone. I can feel bad if my mom asks me for a piece of bread! I have the emotional range of a child, as I fluctuate so often...

Finally, I'm pretty sure my parents are transphobes or some form of homophobes. They're not outward, but it's clear.

I started off the day with my cousins. They had slept over and we were having breakfast. Breakfast was croissants and eggs. I made the croissants, and for once, they actually came out very nicely (even if my mom calls it "underbaked"). And i was happy. Then came the swings. I only noticed the bad things about it and immediately threw it away. Sad right?

To combat these spasmodic bursts of happiness (because sadness is the base), I decide to stop thinking. I don't think too much about randomness and if I think, I'm usually focused. So if I have free time, I'll go onto wattpad.

I also decided to constantly smile. If you actually knew me, you first of all, would think I was straight unless you are noobwriter (I'm not tagging her but she'll be in my following list).

Second of all, you would think I was always happy. Because I smile. I'm never sad. I can't show emotion outside of he stage and my home. I just can't. So it takes a lot for me to cry or even get angry. I'm never angry. Even if someone insults me, I'll keep on smiling. Even if I got an 85 on a test, I'll keep smiling. Because smiles combat the sadness. Because smiles make me happy. And smiles make others happy too.

I'm liking a glowing ball of light. I laugh a lot, but mostly not genuine. I can have fun. With friends that are like family, I'm better, but with strangers I end up being shy and scared. If I know someone, I'll be restricted. If I don't know someone, I'll be even more restricted. If I know someone very well, I'll be less restricted. I'm sure all y'all followers probably will fall under the latter category.

So people know me as a smiles person. And that's why I like to think of myself as a home-baked macaroon. Because my macaroons are crispy, but when you bite into them, they are actually hollow inside with a rather thick layer at the bottom. I'll slap you if you 😏.

Now, on with the day. Another good thing happened and that was the fact that I got boba! Boba kept me happy for the entire afternoon... I played cards somewhere in there, and I think my cousins left at around 7. So at 7:30, we start with the movie. As usual, I ask for the great British baking show/ bake off, and everyone usually agrees to it. But today we watched a Bollywood movie. We watch it sometimes, but I hate it. Mostly because the subtitles are sucky and my brother doesn't know what is going on all the time and I, who knows a lot of Hindi, am confused about 1/4 of the time. But we saw it anyway.

We saw this entertaining but controversial movie called "OMG". It was basically this guy, who kept on insulting the gods and got his shop destroyed in an earthquake (no other thing was destroyed) so he filed a lawsuit against the gods. He sent the notice to all holy places and basically the movie was about how he ended up uncovering and destroying the religious scams and cults popping up in India.

The reason it was so controversial was because it basically insulted the three main world religions, atheists, and I think somewhere in there, a god showed up...

They showed the flaws in the religions' holy scriptures. They also showed the flaws all those religions had in their rituals.

They called atheists nastik, which is basically na+astik. Na is no, and astik means... believer? Smth like that. But when you say it, it ends up being nastik, which sounds like nasti. Nasti means destroy/death/destruct etc. and I'm pretty sure that was made just to show how against India is against atheists.

They also showed god in there who was hot af but that's beside the point.

I think there was a scamming religious Hindu leader who was supposed to be a transgender person. My mother thought this and said "wow he acted out the disgusting tranny perfectly!" And this ties in with the whole thing about phobia. In India, people think transgender people are cursed and anyone who refuses to do what they say will be cursed. So it is really a phobia. But offensive and sad nonetheless.

So in the end, the day was sad and filled with thinking, but I smiled the entire way through, so it was at least a little good. Comment what happened during ur day!