Chapter 73

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You looked up into Loki's eyes. "Love?" You asked him gently. You still didn't quite understand what he meant. "Haven't you always had worshipers?" You asked. He was a Norse god. He'd been worshipped for centuries. He, Thor, all of his family had been. What was bothering him about it now?

Loki's arms wrapped around Fenna and he blinked as he worked to focus on you again. "I've had worshipers for centuries," he started, his voice soft and distant. He was trying to focus on you and the voices in his head at the same time. You could see the strain it was taking on him.

You reached up and cupped his cheek. "Let Fenna help," you reminded him gently. "Let me help you," you were both there for him and you'd help however you could. "Let me in, Lokitty. You're not alone anymore," you reminded him. Sometimes he had a hard time remembering that he wasn't alone. He didn't have to do everything by himself anymore. He had you, he had Fenna, he'd rekindled his relationship with his brother, and he always had his beloved mother.

Loki nodded and his eyes glazed for a moment before he relaxed. Fenna's eyes glowed a soft green and you smiled. She was such a good familiar and so good for him. Loki sighed in relief and scratched behind Fenna's ears. "Thank you, my dear," he told her warmly. He looked to you and leaned over to kiss you softly. "And thank you, magelet," he said with a seductive purr. His voice always held a bit of that seduction, even when he wasn't trying. When he was trying...

Well, you'd think about that later.

Right now, you had to find out what was going on with Loki.

"So... the worshipers?" You prompted when Loki was lost in your eyes instead of continuing the conversation.

Loki chuckled. "Yes, the worshipers," he agreed. He took a breath to clear his thoughts before he began to speak. "Yes, I've had worshipers since I officially received my godhood when I came of age," he explained.

You tilted your head. "When you did what?" You asked. You knew Loki was a god, of course, but you didn't understand what he meant about receiving his godhood. Wasn't he born a god?

Loki smiled fondly at the memory. He gestured and an illusion appeared before you, an image of a young Loki kneeling on one knee before the throne of Asgard, his golden horned helmet on the ground in front of him. He looked to only be about 18 years old or so by Midgardian standards. "When an Asgardian comes of age, they are eligible to receive a godhood. The royal family always receives at least one," he explained. "There's a big ceremony for those who are chosen for one," his eyes flicked back to the illusion and he smiled fondly at it. "I earned my godhoods of mischief, chaos, and lies that day. I didn't earn the godhood of stories until much later. Some godhoods are earned, some are given, but they're all based on the personality of the god or goddess in question,"

You nodded along. "And you got your worshipers at the same time?" You asked.

Loki nodded. "It started slowly, only one or two requesting my help. It took years before I had a true following. Then... once the Christians came and ruined everything, we all lost a lot of followers..." his eyes were sad and haunted. He'd missed hearing from his followers, he'd missed all of it.

The pieces were coming together then. He wasn't used to hearing so many people anymore. Fewer and fewer people believed in the old gods, fewer and fewer worshiped him and his family.

That had changed that day. In seeing what Loki could really do, in seeing the god in action, that belief had come back to the world. Loki, Thor, all the Asgardians, were getting followers again.

"And you can hear them all?" You asked him gently. No wonder his head hurt.

Loki nodded. "I used to have spells set up to... filter the calls. I've slipped on keeping them up when the voices dwindled. I'm going to have to renew them now. And teach Thor how to do it as well..." he said with a groan.

You laughed. "I'll help you with the oaf. And with your spells as well if you'd like me to,"

Loki gave you a loving smile. "I appreciate the offer, magelet, but it won't take me much to get my spells back up and working. I just..." he blushed a light purple. "I wasn't expecting to be so popular again, not after all the things I have done..." he looked down and picked at his hands.

You stroked his cheek with your thumb. "Loki, it wasn't your fault, it was mind control,"

Loki shook his head and looked up at you. "No, magelet. The Battle of New York may not have been my fault, but there are choices I've made through the centuries that I am not proud of," he said softly, his eyes haunted with the ghosts of his past.

You leaned in to kiss him softly. "Those choices are in the past, Lokitty. You've been forgiven for them, you've more than made amends. You're a different person now than you were then," you reminded him gently. Loki had grown in just the time you'd known him. You were sure he'd been growing and changing for centuries. That was part of being the god of chaos. He was always changing. He welcomed change in his life, it was part of his very being.

Loki leaned into your touch, then shifted to kiss your thumb. "Thank you, magelet," he said, grateful for your reassuring presence. He hesitated a moment before he continued. "Something else has changed..." he said and paused again.

"What has?" You asked him after a long pause.

He frowned as he tried to come up with the right words. "I... praying to me seems to be more popular than it was before. I had quite a few worshipers in the past, but things are different now. It seems as if I have become the patron god for the outcasts, for those who are misunderstood, transgender, homosexual, teenagers, anyone who doesn't fit in with society. There are more than ever flocking to me..." he said, clearly at a loss as to why. Sure, he was gender fluid, that part he understood. He didn't seem to get why all the other outcasts were praying to him now.

You smiled. "Because they relate to you. They know what you've been through," the Avengers' movies made sure of that. The entire world knew Loki's biology and Odin's terrible parenting. "They know that even through all of that, even through growing up in Thor's shadow, of being misunderstood your entire life, you still persevered. No matter what the nine realms threw at you, you overcame them and you're thriving. You're an example to all of them,"

Loki's eyes glistened with unshed tears. "They... look up to me?" He asked in disbelief.

"Yes, Lokitty. They look up to you. They worship you because they think you'll understand them and what they're going through, what their needs are,"

Loki remained shocked and disbelieving for a moment. Then you saw his expression change and the resolve come to his eyes. You saw the change in him, the responsibility in him. He would be taking his new worshipers seriously. You hadn't doubted that he would, but there was a resolve there to take care of those who believed and trusted in him.  

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