Made in the A.M

What a feeling

Somehow they managed to get through their North American tour. It wasn't all bad. They still had a great time on stage and Harry and Louis were allowed to sit next to each other and interact in public now when Louis was becoming a dad. They were both really happy about it even if the whole situation was a mess.

They still had an album to finish. Louis and Liam spent a lot of time together writing. Their latest project was called What a feeling. Liam wrote the first verse.

Through the wire, through the wire, through the wire
I'm watching her dance, dress is catching the light
In her eyes there's no lies, no lies
There's no question, she's not in a disguise

Louis put together the first two lines of the pre-chorus while Liam finished it.

With no way out and a long way down
Everybody needs someone around

But I can't hold you, too close now
Through the wire, through the wire

Louis wrote the chorus.

What a feeling to be right here beside you now
Holding you in my arms
When the air ran out and we both started running wild
The sky fell down
But you've got stars, they're in your eyes
And I've got something missing tonight
What a feeling to be a king beside you, somehow
I wish I could be there now

Liam did most of the second verse but Louis ended it.

Through the wire, through the wire, through the wire
I'm watching you like this, imagining you're mine

It's too late, it's too late, am I too late?
Tell me now, am I running out of time?

They repeated the pre-chorus and chorus before Liam wrote the bridge and then they added the chorus one last time.

With no way out and a long way down
Everybody needs someone around
But I can't hold you too close now
Through the wire, through the wire

What a feeling to be right here beside you now
Holding you in my arms
When the air ran out and we both started running wild
The sky fell down
But you've got stars, they're in your eyes
And I've got something missing tonight
What a feeling to be a king beside you, somehow
I wish I could be there now

Whatever chains are holding you back
Holding you back, don't let 'em tie you down
Whatever chains are holding you back
Holding you back, tell me you believe in that

What a feeling to be right here beside you now
Holding you in my arms
When the air ran out and we both started running wild
The sky fell down
But you've got stars, they're in your eyes
And I've got something missing tonight
What a feeling to be a king beside you, somehow
I wish I could be there now
I wish I could be there now

"Would you look at that? We still got it." Liam smiled.

"Yeah." Louis answered and leaned his head against the couch cushion.
"How are you doing Li? I'm worried about you."

"You're asking me that? Really?" Liam chuckled.

"We're both a mess." Louis stated.

"Yeah." Liam agreed.

"How the hell did we get here?" Louis sighed.

"I'm surprised we didn't get here sooner." Liam snorted.

"Yeah, maybe." Louis agreed. He had that familiar itch but he tried to ignore it.

"I miss Zayn. I'm glad that he got out, but I really miss him." Liam said.

"Yeah, me too. Have you talked to him?" Louis asked.

"Not really. I don't want him to hear me like this." Liam admitted.

"Yeah." Louis sighed.

"Wanna get out of here? Let's go clubbing!" Liam suggested.

Louis knew that he shouldn't. He should go back to his hotel room and cuddle his husband instead but he didn't want to see Harry's worried face that he always had on display when it came to him nowadays.
"Yeah, let's go out!"

They informed their bodyguards where they were going and Louis sent Harry a text. He was too much of a coward to tell him in person, knowing that Harry wouldn't approve. He wouldn't say it out loud. He would just look at him with that disappointed look in his eyes and Louis couldn't stand it. It made him feel worthless. He was worthless. A fucking junkie. He couldn't sink any lower.

So he went out with Liam to forget. They danced and they laughed and they were both wasted in different ways. In his quest to find artificial happiness he destroyed everything in his way.

They flew back to London the next day. Harry hadn't said a word to him for the whole day and he sat next to Niall on the flight. He deserved the silent treatment. He had crashed into their hotel room early in the morning, unable to walk by himself. His bodyguard had helped him inside. He didn't remember much of it, more than Harry helping him get to bed and telling him to leave him alone when he tried to kiss him. He felt ashamed.