Kill me softly - Minsung

Chapter 24

Almost two months had passed since Jisung went on a date with Lee Know and therefore it had also been almost two months since the two saw each other.

In the beginning, it was unbearable. Jisung just wanted to be with the dark-haired boy, to kiss him, to fall asleep next to him again, laugh with him, be held by him. Heck, he'd even be happy to just look at him. But their texts were all Jisung could hold on to. And they gradually got less, in fact, their last shared conversation was one-sidedly ended by Lee Know not replying to a question Jisung sent almost 7 days before.

Jisung had simply asked Lee Know about his day, he read their conversation over and over again, there were no hints that he had somehow pissed Lee Know off, or that he had said anything wrong. It left him clueless. Lee Know had a thing for just disappearing but usually, their paths were bound to meet again. With the certainty of a sailor that knew about the tide that'd bring the water back, Jisung trusted Lee Know to come back, reach out to him again, but as the days went on, and especially right after their date, being left in the blue made Jisung sick.

If you were to ask him (and Chan, Changbin, and some of the others did) of course, he would say he's alright and everything between him and Lee Know was alright as well, they were just stressed and couldn't find the time to meet up again. But deep down, he was disappointed, kind of heartbroken even.

The only trace that Lee Know left was his smell in Jisungs bed. But even that slipped from Jisung over time. He tried holding on to it for as long as he could, savor it for as long as he could, but holding on to it, was like holding on to nice memories. The harder you tried to remember every single detail from them, the quicker they dissolved into a foggy mush.

Sometimes, when Jisung lay in bed, wrapped up in his blankets he imagined ( it must have been from imagination, there was no way it would last that long) the faint remains of Lee Knows perfume and suddenly he was right back in the night of their date. Securely sleeping, head on Lee Knows chest, listening to the steady thumping of the other's heart, strong arms rubbing slow circles on his back.

When he woke up from these dreams that felt so real, he felt even more hollow than before. He hated the impact Lee Know had on him, hated how that boy was able to make him feel so good the one night and so miserable the other.

Today's night was different though. The weather had shifted the last couple of days and Jisung began sleeping with his french door open, allowing fresh breezes through his room. But before the sleep's darkness could come over him and rock him into his bittersweet dreams, Jisung was awoken by a loud noise.

Hesitantly, Jisung brushed his blankets away and got up. Someone was standing on his balcony, a dark shape against the bright light cast by the moon.

He padded out into the fresh air but what he was greeted with knocked the air right out of his lungs.

"Lee- Lee Know?", he managed to speak. The boy stood there, holding on to the railing as if it was his only source of support. His hair covered his face as he was looking down, his whole posture screamed that something was wrong. This was not the Lee Know that Jisung knew. It was heartbreaking to see him looking that weak. Neither of them moved. Jisung tried again, called his name again, still no answer. A shiver went down his spine. Something was wrong.

Ever so slowly, as if any sudden move could scare him away, Jisung began approaching the brown-haired male. Trembling fingers, cold from the wind, reaching out to one of Lee Knows arms, resting right above his wrist, wrapping around it. Jisung wished to move some of his strength over to him, thinking Lee Know was in more need of it than he himself.

"It's okay.", he tried reassuring him. "Lee Know, whatever it is-", finally, he looked up, looked Jisung in the eye and it took all the willpower Jisung had, for him not to flinch at the look of Lee Know. His left eye was heavily bruised, he had a cut right on his cheekbone below said eye and dried blood left a trace down his nose, over his lips and on to his neck. He looked miserable.