Kill me softly - Minsung

Chapter 23

Jisung took a deep breath, the fresh air coming in through his window waking up his lungs. He lay there, buried in his pillows and his blanket loosely thrown over him still trapping the heat underneath it.

It may sound stupid but Jisung really loved his bed. Like not in an "Oh I'm looking forward to getting to bed" kind of way but in an "If it were legal I'd marry it", kind of way. On top of that all, sleeping in was a rarity for him. Usually, he had to get up for dance class or vocal training but now and then he was allowed to sleep as long as he wanted and he took full advantage of that.

He still had his eyes closed, sleep still hovering over him and as the tiredness slowly wore off the memories of yesterday flooded back to him. The date, the kissing, the falling asleep together.

And just like that, his eyes flickered open. But he was blinded by the light streaming into his bedroom so he quickly shut them close. He took another breath and opened his eyes more carefully this time.
He scanned the left side of his bed but it was empty, he turned around expecting to see a certain brown-haired male laying there, mentally already getting ready for seeing his morning look, but he was left with another empty side of the bed.

He furrowed his brows and suddenly there was no heat under the sheets anymore. They felt cold and uncomfortable and the heap of pillows seemed to swallow him. Lee Know was not there?

Jisung swallowed as he slowly got up. There had to be an explanation for this. Lee Know surely was somewhere in the apartment.

He threw on a sweater and stepped out of his room, trying to be as quiet as possible and glanced in the kitchen, it was empty.

"Looking for something?", the question made him jump and his heart skip a beat. For a split second, he thought - he hoped it was Lee Know, but it only was Chan. He cleared his throat.

"Ah - no I'm just - er - on my way to the bathroom.", Jisung stumbled out the words and brushed past a quite confused Australian boy.

Jisung tried not to think of these certain two words but as he made his way to the bathroom as fast as he could without looking too weird all that ran around his mind was "He left. He left. He left."

He pushed the white door open into the room with the same colored furniture and was left with an empty room and a heart that felt even emptier.

For a moment, Jisung's emotions spilled. They flooded the room he was standing in, threatening to swallow him, but as sudden as they overwhelmed him they wore off again.

Pull your self together goddammit we're not gonna cry over this now!

Jisung filled his lungs with air once again and splashed his face with cold water. His hands steadily against the sink, he took a look at his reflection. There had to be an explanation for this, he was sure.

Jisung felt like he had gotten to know Lee Know better last night. He found out about his obsession with cats, that he was passionate about dancing but his current job doesn't give him the chance to go after that passion, Lee Know even told him the embarrassing story of how he once went to school with the uniform of his female cousin and realized it too late to get changed.

All the memories of last night had settled into a cozy and comfortable feeling inside Jisung but the thought of Lee Know just leaving without a decent explanation sent a sharp cold dagger through these emotions.

He shuffled back to his room, thankfully without meeting Chan again and slumped down onto his bed. Chan would only ask him how his date went and Jisung had no clue what he'd answer. It did go well but Lee Know didn't stay so did it really go that well?

After a while, he was sick of running over these thoughts again and again, and as he rubbed his forehead as if that would make the thoughts disappear another idea rushed into his mind.

His phone. This whole time he hadn't looked at his phone once. Maybe Lee Know had texted him the reason why he had left. Eagerly he rolled over, stretching his hand out to reach his nightstand where his phone rested upon.

And just as he grabbed his phone and pulled it to him a small white shred of paper fell to the ground.

Jisung frowned as he picked it up, unfold it, and read.

"Dear Hanji.

You guessed it. I'm sorry that I have to do it again. Leaving you. I really am.
Also, I'm sorry that I have to be so discreet about my work but it's for everyone's safety. Just know that leaving you today was one of the hardest things I've had to do (and not only because you looked unbelievable cute while sleeping) because I really wish I could've stayed.

Love, Lee Know."

Jisung read it. Over and over again. So there was an explanation, it was quite vague, really vague actually but still.

Jisung folded the paper together again, twirling it in his fingers as he looked out the window. What now?

He didn't know for how long he sat there but a knock on his door snapped him out of his thoughts.

The door slowly opened and Chan's now dark brown-haired and Changbin's dark blue-haired heads appeared at the doorframe. Jisung smiled at the look of that.

"So..?", Chan asked, raising his eyebrows and smirking.

"So what?", Jisung played dumb. He knew that they wanted to know about Lee Know's and his date.

"Oh come on, don't put us on the rack like that, tell us!", Changbin demanded and that's how the three grown-up men all ended up on Jisung's bed gossiping about said one's date like teenage girls.

Jisung decided to just leave out the bit where Lee Know stayed the night.  

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Ok, so I don't like everything about this chapter as I started this while being really tired and finished it during one of my online classes lmao. 

But it's something.