Dear Others

Night Changes

And so just like this, Harry left.

It was almost mesmerizing to Louis how fast his night changed from being the best to be the worst. One moment, he was there pouring his heart out to Harry asking him to give him a chance..to give THEM a chance to be happy together..and the next moment, Harry is gone, and Louis is left alone and cold and with a broken heart.

Harry didn't say No though, he just started sobbing, and told Louis that being this close to him right now is killing him and "please let me go"..Louis couldn't do anything, so he just stepped back and watched Harry putting on his coat and leaving. He's always leaving.

But it's not a No, because later that night, when Louis was cuddling with Clifford in his bed, a message from Harry arrived. It was a song lyric

"No goodbye is too late
All goodbyes are too early
Although I knew it's our fate
It didn't make it easy..for me
For me
For me

I smiled and told you "it's okay,
We're okay"
I knew I lied but you didn't seem to notice
You said "it's for best" and walked away
You walked away
I know you didn't lie but I can't get over this

You painted my world blue
Then turned it to black
You showed me a world I never knew
Then you took it all back

They told me "this love is dying"
Our love is dying
But I really didn't want to believe
All these memories keep me wondering
I'm still wondering..
Did you truly leave?"

When Louis tried looking up these lyrics he couldn't find anything, so he figured that Harry wrote this song for him. It hurt him, but it also felt a little bit good..good to know he wasn't the only fool. They were fools together, for each other.

He read the text several times, trying to know how this song could sound. He almost forgot to text Harry back, till his phone started buzzing. It was Eleanor calling.

Louis never hated Eleanor really, but he couldn't help thinking "NOT NOW". He waited impatiently until the buzzing stopped, then he called Harry.

Harry answered, but the line between them stayed silent. Both breathing quietly

"I love you too" Harry whispered finally

Louis felt his heart throbbing so hard, he couldn't say anything, he wished so much that they were having this conversation in real life and not over the phone

"God..I couldn't stop loving you. No matter what I did and how many people I met..you messed me up forever. All the people I hooked up with, I saw your face. All the places I went, all the beds I slept in..you were always somewhere in the back of my head. And I hate you for this"

Louis knows Harry paused because he started crying. His voice started shaking and his breaths became uneven, Louis keeps waiting

"I hate you for this, Louis. You can't do this to me anymore..I can't..you broke me! I don't feel like me.." he pauses again, sniffs a bit, then continues "only when I'm with you..it feels a little bit better. But I can't have you..not like this. Even if I had to live like this for the rest of my life..You can't just show up after all these years and say you'll fix it.."

"Harry.."

Louis couldn't help it. It hurt too much, he couldn't keep listening to the intro of Harry rejecting him. He won't be able to live like this..he just won't. Not after having Harry back, if he once thought he might be able to live without Harry then he was wrong all along..and he's going to fix this no matter what it takes

"Please Harry..I'm sorry..I'll make it up to you I promise.."

"I'm sorry.."

Louis's heart is drumming so hard and his body is on fire and he has to have Harry back or..or..