Can You Keep A Secret (Denis Stoff)

23

Shorty after my conversation with James, Cameron arrived, looking really disheveled. I can see why the others thought that he wasn't in his right mind. He stumbled around, blinking slowly with his lips just parted. Finally, he sat down.

"You okay, mate?" I asked him, genuinely concerned.

"She used me." He reached up to his face and scratched at his skin as though he wanted to pull it off. "That bitch used me to get to Lily."

"Who used you?" I shook my head. Is he just talking again?

"The motherfucking devil!" He snapped, grabbing my shoulders. He then released his grip and hugged himself.

"Who is the devil?!" I asked, frustrated.

"It's Rachel." Cameron looked to the ceiling. "It's always been Rachel."

Lily's ex is after her? I don't care whether she's the devil or not, she did something to Cameron, and she's going to do the same to Lily. This is not good. "Why?" I pushed further. I grabbed his shoulders. "Why?!"

"She never paid her debt. But if she dies then this is over for me. I go back to normal." Cameron smiled for a moment, but it looked sick on him. He was so out of character that it scared me. "I'm such a fucking idiot."

"You were scared," my mood shifted. "You didn't know what else to do."

"Tell me that you'll be okay. Tell me that you're going to stay." He sat up and looked me in the eye. For a moment I thought that I saw a flicker of emotion, but it faded quickly.

I shook my head. "I don't understand."

Cameron reached out slowly, unsure of himself. He grabbed my hand gently within his own. He laced our fingers. "Do you understand now?"

I blinked. "I can't be with you like that, Cam. I'm sorry. I don't feel that way about you."

He let me go. "You think that I was scared?" He chuckled. "I thought I'd never see you again. They lied to me. They told me that you were dead. I thought that I'd blew my one chance at telling you how I felt. I blamed myself because I couldn't see the signs. I left you alone because I thought that you wanted to be. I watched your jealousy of Lily and Ben knowing that it was never Lily that you wanted. I saw you cutting yourself and didn't say anything. I knew what was going on. I always knew. But I never thought that you'd take it this far because I thought I could make you better. I see now that I was wrong to ever believe in that idea. I can't fix you. I'm not your rock." He bit his lip. "Just promise me that Ryan won't make the same mistake."

"She won't," I said it without thinking. "It's not your fault that I did any of those things. I never should have put you in this position." I swallowed. "But Lily's in danger. And you need to help me save her before it's too late."

Cam shook his head. "I can't help you. I swear, I would if I could. But I took a blood oath. If I break it, I'll die. Or worse," he looked me in the eye, "very single person in this world that I love will die, one by one."

"Harsh circumstance," I agreed. "I can see why you wouldn't want to break that vow. But is there anything that says that you can't tell us anything important?"

"'Any form of help, including every form of communication, direct or indirect, is forbidden.'" He sighed as he stated the quote without having to think about it too much. "I'm sorry, but there's no way around it."

"You sure that you're not just on something?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I know what I saw." His voice was firm. I knew in that moment just how sure he was that Rachel was the devil. She must've scared him out of his wits. "At first, I didn't believe it either. But now I do. Don't you remember that episode of The Twilight Zone?"

"The what?"

"It was a show in mid 1900s about strange occurrences. In one of the episodes, the devil was pretending to be innocent, but it turned out that he wasn't. And the protagonist didn't know it until it was too late." He pointed to himself. "That's what happened to me!"

"Did she ever hint at it before you tried to make the deal?" I was playing along for the sake of the situation.

"No. She just said that she dabbled in the occult and knew black magic that could bring you back. It wasn't until later that she told me that she was the devil."

"Did you know when you signed?"

"I thought that she was crazy until the emptiness came. Is this what depression feels like?"

"It's not emptiness so much as loneliness," I explained. "But I suppose that it's different for everyone."

"I suppose," Cameron agreed, sounding pretty indifferent as he did so. "Please just promise me that you won't die trying to prevent Rachel from attacking Lily."

"No indirect involvement," I said, thinking. "Then we just warn her, in case it changes your situation in any way." I took my phone out and found Lily in my contacts, disclosing Cameron's concerns through a long, well-thought-out text message. 

"Is this really all that I can do?"

"This is really all that you can do," I told him. 

"I feel so useless. Why did I do the things that I did?"

I wanted to reassure him, but I didn't know how to comfort someone that can't respond to human emotion. I gave him a gentle smile instead. "It'll all turn out alright." I despised the idea of lying to him, but it's not like I can figure out what's going to happen.

"I know you don't believe me, but Rachel told me about Ryan before I knew who she was."

I furrowed my brow. "When?"

"A few months ago. When you'd just escaped."

I nodded slowly, still not believing him completely. "You sure?"

"I know what she said." Cameron looked at me, a flicker of determination went through his eyes, and then faded like last time. 

"That's what I'm afraid of."