Can You Keep A Secret (Denis Stoff)

22

Denis POV:

When I'd landed back in the States, I immediately called myself a cab to get back to where the rest of the band was. I was cutting this dangerously close. 

And to think that I never even actually got to do what I'd set out to do in the first place. Sad, isn't it?

I picked up my luggage and rushed out the entrance to find myself that cab. I felt a buzz in my pocket, but thought nothing of it. In airplane mode, one's phone doesn't go off at all. It's probably only catching up. 

But once I was on the road with the cab, I grew worried about it. That was the only time that it had gone off. Maybe it wasn't just catching up. I pulled it out and saw that I had a single text message from none other than Ryan. Don't tell me that she's still texting me about how upset she is with me, and how wrong what I'd done was. When I read it, I immediately felt a rush of relief. 

Ryan: Must be tired from running through my mind ever since you left

I chuckled. Usually, she's not flirty at all. Wonder if she's drunk. Then again, she very rarely drinks anything at all, much less to excess. SHIT! I forgot to make sure that she ate something today! I was so worried about my own feelings that I completely forgot to help her. I'm a horrible person.

I conveyed my feelings through text accidentally.

Me: I guess so

I put my phone down while I waited for her response, sighing while I looked out the window. Look at me, I gave up on Ben and screwed up my only other chance at success with anyone other than those who were forced to endure me every day. 

Ryan: U ok?

Me: sure

Ryan: Listen, I'm sorry about before, ok? I didn't mean everything that I'd said. I just wasn't ready for it! Can we just pretend like it never happened

Me: No

Ryan: what do you want from me

My fingers typed the word before I thought about it twice. 

Me: sex

Ryan: christ, Den. u must be rly upset

Me: ShIT! I didn't mean to type that it just slipped and I really don't want you only for that I'm sorry please forgive me 

Ryan: Relax. I'm not mad at u

Ryan: it's not like I don't know what men want....

God, can I not be such a fuck up for three seconds?

Me: i'm sorry! I swear I didn't mean it

Ryan: Denis, on a serious note, I REALLY KNOW that you weren't lying. I knew what you were thinking when I asked you what would make you feel better a few months ago. They always do say that sex provides a great natural high. It's a perfectly reasonable desire to have. 

Ryan: And I wouldn't object if you actually DID mean it

Me: stop being perfect for ten seconds, will you? be an angry bitch so I can be upset with you for being upset with me earlier

Ryan: i can't believe that you only wanted this for sex! You ass!

Ryan: is that good?

Ryan: weird question, but if I ever did what you did to me, flew out and came to see you without warning, would u be upset?

Me: ur at the airport right now aren't you

Ryan: don't like the way that we've left things off

Ryan: and it's hard to make up an ocean away :)

I almost cried. I don't deserve her kindness.

Me: ....

Ryan: Plus, I need help writing again. Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't know how to make an emotional character

Me: and here I thought that most girls would know things like that

Ryan: Apparently I'm not whimsical enough to make a character with that quality

Me: Use ur imagination

Ryan: do u wanna see me or not

Me: or i can help u 

Ryan: plus ur grammar is better than mine. u sure english isn't ur first language?

Me: damn, you figured it out. secretly a brit who can put on a good accent

Ryan: lol?

Me: lol

Ryan: whew, was scared that i wasn't taking u seriously for a sec there

Ryan: plus, ur accent, if it was fake, is waaaaaaay better than Ben's impression

I chuckled. She has me there.

Me: indeed

I put my phone back down and looked out the window once more. At least she's not really upset with me, but maybe I should keep myself in better check. Not everyone's so understanding of little slips like that. 

Speaking of understanding, I wonder how Lily's doing. I know she's used to it, but it must be a lot to take in to not have any of your family coming to your wedding. I thought that maybe they'd find it in their hearts to love her. I guess some things never change. 

I got off of the cab near where the next venue that the band was playing was. I paid the driver, and began walking around. I knew exactly where the bus was parked, for I'd asked Cameron. But at the same time, I didn't want for anyone to follow me there. That's the worst. 

After a few more minutes of wandering around aimlessly, I finally decided to go where I actually was supposed to be going. I approached the tour bus and knocked on the door. I'd freak them out if I just walked in. James opened it. "He's back!" He called.

"They're all here?" I questioned.

"Nope, just telling some of the crew." He looked at me strangely. "Don't just stand there, come in."

"Right, right." I walked in. "Did you miss me?" I asked, joking.

"The pain was almost unbearable. But you did miss something."

"What?" 

"Well, we ran into Danny today." He twiddled with his thumbs. 

"You're replacing me before we even finish the album?" I jumped to the conclusion. 

"No! Of course we aren't replacing you." He held his hands up defensively. "It's nothing like that, I promise."

"Then I'm guessing he and Ben are out burying the hatchet?" I slumped down on one of the leather couches with disappointment. 

"No, actually. Just the opposite. He and Ben aren't together at all. But he and Cameron are out together."

"Why's that?" I wrinkled my nose in confusion.

"Apparently there was something that they wanted to discuss, but couldn't do it with anyone else. I'm not quite sure that Cam was in his right mind when he told us what he was doing." James rubbed his chin in thought. 

"Not in his right mind? What did his eyes look like?"

"Lifeless. Why?"

"I think that I know what he's talking to Danny about."