Illicit Affairs

twenty-three. you're changing

It's been relaxing to be back with Aria. I'm away from the constant stress of my parents and the need of being an actress all day. It's much easier to avoid Cole and his bad attitude now. Ever since the day he saw the text, he's been more bitter around me but never makes any comments.

Normally, I would worry about that with no end but for now, I'm just going to enjoy being with Aria.

Over the past few days, she's been more honest than ever, telling me when she just can't deal with life or when she wants to spend some time with me. It's nice that she openly communicates with me, I feel like she finally trusts me. And I trust her too.

"How's your workload?" I ask as I lean over her brown desk to look at the crowd of papers.

She hands me a sheet that outlines an essay she's about to write, and says, "huge."

She's finally gotten around to trying to score well in school, and it's proven to be extremely difficult.

While I have good time management and don't allow my work to get like this, she's different. She leaves everything till the last second.

"Can I help?"

"No, because then it wouldn't actually be my work that I'm turning in," she says hesitantly.

"I wouldn't mind," I tell her.

That's the truth.

I just want her to finish all of her work so another one of our distractions goes away. And, you know, so she can get her academic degree.

"Wouldn't that be acadmic fraud or some other bullshit that sounds made up?" She questions.

"Like I said before. I wouldn't mind."

No matter how hopeless it sounds, I think that I would be willing to do anything for her. She has an innocent gleam in her eyes and says, "maybe I should take a break."

"What do you want to do?"

"Do you want to get some coffee? I know a nice shop in the city that's simply the best."

I can't help but laughing, "what? Like a date?"

I expected a typical Aria-like response, not that. She seems thrown off, and starts to stutter, saying, "n-n-no. It's coffee. We are simply spending time together."

"With romantic intentions? Like a date?"

I will keep on pressing, no matter how much she starts to hate me for it. I had said that I had given up on ever dating her, but it's not like I'm naive enough to not see the signs. There has to be something more there.

"People can't spend time with each other outside of their dorms?"

She's right, of course, but it's different now. She hasn't asked me something like that ever since we. . . became involved with each other. It just feels new.

It feels like a chance for a change.

"You know what, never mind," she says suddenly without allowing me to speak.

She spins back around on her desk chair, facing away from me and directing her attention back to her pile of work.

And it seems like I pushed too hard.

"Aria?"

I might as well be talking to a brick wall, because she doesn't bother responding. It's my fault, really. I could have just kept my mouth shut and stuck to my words.

I can't try to pick apart something that isn't there.

I take her harsh silence as a sign to leave her alone. I pull on a fuzzy black coat from my crowded wardrobe, and I sit down to put on my heavy black boots. The snow outside hasn't stopped, and it's as strong as ever.

As I step out of the room and leave the building, I'm not surprised by the freezing temperature. My long hair is blown into my face, and I just want to avoid all signs of people.

I hear a sudden crack of a branch behind me, and I instantly turn around. The snow is covering my eyesight, so I barely catch sight of a dark silhoutte.

It runs away.

It makes me feel uncomfortable, and wonder if they were following me. Why would they run away once I turned around?

It feels suspicious, but I'm not one to run toward danger. In fact, I always run away from it.

That's why I start sprinting across the white covered field, trying my best to avoid the sparse crowds of people ahead of me. They're all marveling at the sight of the frozen lake that's surrounded by a plethora of Christmas lights that still haven't been taken down.

I'm just trying to get the hell away from everything.

I came out here for a breath of fresh air, but it seems like I can't truly be alone.

Fuck this.

I decide that if I won't be alone, I might as well be in the presence of a friend who understands me. I change directions in my mind, and I make my way for Spencer's place.

I remind myself that I'm not going to dump a bunch of information on him, especially if it isn't necessary.

I recall how he had told me that he had gotten into a fight with his mom for personal reasons. His mom was jealous that he seems to prefer his dad over her, which silly but she's adamant about it.

Parents are strange.