Illicit Affairs

thirty-four. let's move on

Spencer appears at my door 10 minutes after I send him an urgent text. He's dressed up in school gear, which I assume is because his girlfriend Ivy is an athlete and there's going to be a soccer game today. He must have run faster than the speed of light in order to make it here before the session begins.

"Are you okay?" He asks instantly.

He makes himself comfortable, sitting on Aria's desk chair as he spins around a few times.

Merely an hour ago, my father had been here and we had said our last words.

"I'm okay, but I shouldn't be."

"What do you mean?"

I launch into a detailed explanation about what went down, and he shares his variety of expressions, including disgust and shock, as he listens to me.

Finally, he says, "that's. . . A lot."

"Shouldn't I feel horrible?"

"What are you feeling right now?"

"Empty. I know that I had to do what's right, but it should still hurt right?"

"Maybe you've already cried all the tears that had to be left behind."

"What do you mean? I ask.

He's eagerly taken on the role of some kind of therapist as he responds, "you're stronger than you think you are, and you already accepted that your parents wouldn't be there for you anymore. Your father leaving again doesn't mean anything for you because he had already left a long time ago."

It's true.

Looking back on those dreadful months, I've already payed my dues and dealt with the absence of my parents.

I've never been much of a hopeful person. From the day that I started dating Cole, I accepted that that would be my life forever. When my father cut me off, I never fell into wishful thinking and believed that he would try to carry out his fatherly responsibilities again. I just tried to pay close attention to what was right in front of me.

I think that I said goodbye the day that I realized they had blocked my number.

All of those months were spenting coping with that, so I don't think that there's not much left to say.

"Thank you for being such an amazing friend," I tell Spencer.

I can't spend more time on the thought of my parents. My friends are actually here for me, and I think I should focus on that.

He leans into a hug, and I gladly return it.

I decide to turn the attention toward something else, and I ask him, "how are things with Ivy? I know you're going to a game of hers and-"

He doesn't even wait for me to finish, and says, "Everything is great. I thought that coming out would mean that our relationship would be over, but she loves me anyway. I love her too."

I decide to tease him by saying, "ooh, you're already in the l-word area with her?"

He laughs and tells me, "we've been dating for a while, and sometimes you just know."

"Is she the one?"

"Why are you asking me, a 19 year old, if I'm ready to commit to something like marriage? You are absolutely ridiculou-"

"So, that's a yes?"

He starts blushing, and I watch him as he whispers, "yes."

Young love is nice.

It must be a precious gift to know that you're meant to be with someone, and I feel a sense of gratitude for it being given to Spencer and I.

Aria makes me happier than ever, and I love her dearly.

I hope she feels the same way. I mean, I know that she loves me, but isn't this different?

At that moment, Aria barges into the room and is pleasantly surprised when she finds Spencer there.

"Do you two want to join Ivy and I at the game?"

Right as Aria says, "I'm not much of a sports per-" I interrupt her and say, "of course."

"See you there! I'll send you a text with what section of the bleachers I'm in!" He runs away again, already slightly late to meeting with Ivy.

Aria directs her attention to me and says, "you know, I really hate you."

I laugh and tell her, "c'mon, you'll look cute in the school gear."

"I don't even think I own any."

I head into my closet, a very familiar place, and I throw a random school t-shirt back at her.

"Now you do!"

She rolls her eyes but holds onto the shirt as she takes off her current one.

I whisper, "hot."

"What?"

I cheekily grin and say, "nothing."

She lays a kiss on my lips before saying, "I hate you so much that I love you."

"I feel the exact same way about you."

"Come over here," she tells me before pulling at my arm and wrapping her own arms around me.

We fit together perfectly, leaving no space wasted between us. We compliment each other well, and I feel at ease as I look into the wild forest of her eyes.

"I can't imagine a life without you," I decide to tell her.

I feel like I've ruined everything by posing the assumptions about something permanent, but when her lips curl up into a smile, I realize that she feels the same way.

"You have no idea how much I love you."

"Bigger than the sun?"

"Bigger."

"Bigger than the moon?" I question.

"Even bigger."

"Bigger than the stars and planets combined?"

"Trust me, far bigger than that."

"That's impossible," I tell her.

"Nothing is impossible when it comes to you," she says quietly.

We kiss once again, brought together by our repeated confessions of love and adoring feelings.

Well, that's until I receieve a loud notification from my phone. I check, and realize that it's Spencer who is asking where we are.

"We have to go!"

I laugh at the transition from pure confusion to a disappointed frown on her face.

"What? Were you hoping to distract me?"

"Maybe," she says slyly with a grin present.

"Let's go!"

"Fine!"

And with that, we make our way out of our building and to the soccer field where Spencer quickly waves at us from across the start of the bleachers.

Maybe it sounds foolish or dramatic, but I think I'm whole again.

Two chapters left!