The Worst Things In Life

Chapter Seventeen

Unedited chapter. Listen as you read.

MARYJANE

''John don't be like this,'' I rounded the table to stand in front of John. ''The accident wasn't your fault. Why is it hard for you to comprehend.''

''I can't believe you still love me. It's hard to grasp.'' he appeared distressed, ''I'm sorry Jane, I can't do this.''

''Do what?'' I asked,

''Love you. I fooled myself for the past two months. Hell, since I met you in that damn church.'' John yelled, and I'm trying to understand what's happening.

''I loved my mum too much, but she left. 17years I've waited to get a glimpse of her. Not for birthdays, not when I married you Jane. She never showed up. Josh barely knew her, I was 10 when she ran off into the sunrise.'' I was in pain listening to John, its the first time he's opened up about his past. An ugly past, despite the man standing in front of me I could see the pieces of the broken boy.

He continued, ''I met Amaka, my life was filled with so much sunshine. I saw a future despite the looming cloud. I saw the signs, maybe I was to eager to fill the void Mum left behind. I offered myself on a platter, I let my guard down and let her in on my past.'' John walked to the kitchen cabinet and helped himself with the bottle of whiskey.

''I let her know how much I needed her, that I couldn't bear the thought of losing her. Amaka promised me forever. But, you know what she did?'' I affirmed to John's question with a nod although he wasn't looking my way.

''Amaka ran me over. It did not take her a week, the next day she was openly kissing some popular guy in school and telling half the class that she don't date boys with mummy issues.''

Do you understand, Jane? Everyone end up leaving. Our baby too, I have a destructive storm on my path. It blows the people I love away.'' I wish I could take him in my arms and assure him that it wasn't his fault. He can't blame himself for a bad accident that fate put in our way.

''God, I was looking forward to a mini Jane crawling and running round the house. Someone to make daddy crazy, but we'd never have that because of my reckless act. I put you at risk and cost us our baby.'' I cried harder hearing so much guilt he had stored up inside of him.

I took easy steps towards him hoping he'd look at me, really look in my eyes to see that I don't hold him responsible for what happened. We need healing from this phase, we need each other at a time like this. We couldn't afford to grow apart. Finally, our eyes connected but John flinched.

''Don't... don't look at me like that. I can't love you.'' he had his hand stretched out to try and stop me. I wanted nothing more than to have my arms wrapped around him. So, I did what my heart yearned for. I put my palms on either side of his arm and drew him in for a hug.

'' You can't love me, or you're fighting what you already feel?'' I whispered in his ears. I lifted my head from his shoulders to look into his eyes. My breathe hitched at what I saw there, too much emotions on display in his eyes. John didn't have to answer me for I saw the answers in the depth of his black eyes, JOHN WAS FIGHTING WHAT HE FEELS. I wanted to tell him that maybe God brought him a third chance, that it was going to be fine.

''You will be the death of me,'' John breathed, rather than respond to my question. His lips crashed on mine, he kissed like a man starved, as though his life depended on it and I responded with equal fervour. I hope this was the start of the healing we need.

That morning we made love on the couch because we didn't make it to the bedroom. After John took me high on ecstasy, he carried me upstairs with my legs wrapped around his waist and lips locked on mine in a sweet caress.

Few hours later, John woke up a changed man.

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AUTHORS NOTE

Buonasera... LOL, new Italian I learned yesterday.

BTW, here's a glimpse of John's past. The reason he's how he is. A past that shaped him into the man he is.

Do you have a past that shaped you into an unrecognized version of yourself? Let me know in the comment section. If you love this story, don't forget to click the star by the corner.

May we meet again,

Love, Uche.