The Worst Things In Life

Chapter Twenty Two

Unedited (playlist- Ire by Adekunle Gold)

Maryjane

      Babies are a blessing, at least that's what Grandma Kachi used to say. Indeed, they are such adorable little beings and I love Chisom with all of my existence.

However, in my naive little mind, I had thought the birth of Chisom would bring John and me closer to create an inseparable bond. Unfortunately, the worst version of John resurfaced. His need for control has blinded him so much that he doesn't realise how unbearable he has become.

      During the early stage of our marriage, John managed to convince me that my friends were a bad influence. He didn't want me to become like them, ''Lagos girls.'' Slow but surely, I conceded to his request and stopped hanging out with the girls.

But, this is different. His attitude since Chisom's arrival is different in a much negative way. I have no clue what went wrong, I have tried to imagine what the problem is. 'maybe it is the story behind Chisom's conception?' I  thought.  He regrets his action, he apologized already and we are over that phase. It's a thing of the past, I have forgiven John and I love Chisom with all of me. How can you not love this bundle of joy that God gave us?

      Recently, I joined a church fellowship group that is filling my head up with hope in Christ Jesus. It is beautiful to know that there is a God who loves me so much that He sent His son as ransom for my sins. I find comfort in Him daily, just maybe I will be saved before John drowns me completely.

I was running away from the village life. I dared to dream of a finer life away from the history that surrounded the small-town orphan girl. I despised the thought that one day I would have ended up with one of those proud farmers with egos bigger than the size of their farm. I did not want a husband who thought he did me a great favour of marrying me. However, the plague in my thought never goes away. The realisation that my life would have been perfect in that small town. Well, there is no way to find out because I married John.

I'm almost 22 years old, and I question the decisions I have made every waking moment. Hopefully, I did not jump from a frying pan into the heat source.

       Recently, John drinks excessively. He is constantly in a foul mood, and his office is his second home. The times he manages to come home, he doesn't look at Chisom. There is no warmth from him towards our baby. John has refused to share what his problem is, we don't talk often and my life has gradually morphed into my baby's. 

''Hey sweetie, I'm in need of a shower. Please watch Chisom.'' I said.  John just grumbled out a response like always. When I returned to the room, the poor baby is screaming his lungs out and no John around.

''My sweet boy,'' I cooed. I held out my index finger to touch his little hands, Chisom wrapped his fingers around my index finger. The love swelling inside of me for this amazing creature is indescribable. ''It's okay baby, mama is here. I will be back, lets find daddy.'' I spoke to Chisom though I know he cannot respond.

''John, are you there?'' I call out, but I was greeted by silence. I walk downstairs, you can guess where I found him. At the bar. I wait, but he did not say a word. 

''Darling, Chisom is too young to be left alone.'' I reasoned. 

''I need a glass or two to unwind. Besides, kids cry all the time.'' John says it nonchalantly. He does not give a care in the world?

''Honestly, if you cannot babysit your own child when I'm not around, it's messed up,'' I say.

''Quit wining Maryjane, his mates are jumping around already.'' He stated.

''Now you are being unreasonable. I doubt there is a kid out there who is running on their feet at 10months old. Even if there is, our Chisom is special.'' I am beginning to get impatient with John. ''He will walk when his time comes,'' I added. 

''You keep telling yourself that. Now, can I enjoy my whiskey in peace? I'm exhausted.'' John chirped in a bored tone.

''I bet you are. I'm the one who is expected to not be tired, I don't have a right to be.'' 

''Jane, you have the single easiest task in the world to raise a damn child! Just one child. What do you want me to do? Kneel at your feet and worship you for taking care of Chisom?'' John asked in a thunderous voice that it startled me.

''That's not the issue. What good are you if you cannot watch over CHISOM. All I asked was ten minutes of your time and you couldn't wait.'' I yelled at John. He is annoying me, and I am starting to lose my patience. 

''Dont speak to me in that manner, woman.'' John threatened. 

      Do you know what my problem is? I don't know when to back down until it's too late. ''Or what? what will you do? I'm tired of your constant suffocation. I see you John, your behaviour since Chisom's arrival. You are barely here, work suddenly became demanding. You have been avoiding me, avoiding him and I want to know why.'' I asked, in a voice barely above a whisper. 

I continued, ''If you were not prepared to have a child, well he's here now and there's nothing we can do. So, either take responsibility for us or you let us go. People are getting divorced on daily basis, so we might as well add to the statistics.'' I rambled out. 

''Aaaahh... I see. I am starting to glimpse the devil underneath. I know that is what you want Maryjane, to flaunt around Lagos street with the ''I'm single and free tag.'' John stepped closer and gripped my hair so tight that I could swear I see stars. 

''You see, that plan of yours failed long before you thought of it. It is my mistake for giving you the liberty to associate with those church people. They are giving you ideas on how to separate your home, right?'' John is holding on to my hair, and the excruciating pain is starting to numb me. 

''Henceforth, no more church activities. Defile me, and you will see a dark side of John. Do you think I don't see you too? Flaunting around those church members like a little Ashawo. It is time to quit.'' He furiously whispered to my ears, before letting go. 

Did he... he just called me a little whore? No, John, you don't get to abuse me with words. I released a war cry as I charged forward like a bull in the ring ready to attack. The thing is, I'm no bull because John stood there like a wall, unmoved. In a flash and calculated move, he pushed me away from his body. Whether he intended it or not, I collided with a wall and landed hard on the floor. I was knocked out of breath, and this time? I did not have to swear that I see stars because I see them. Finally, the darkness overcame me. I gave in as my eyes blurred, and I drifted into oblivion. 

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AUTHORS NOTE  

Oops! Jane blanked out? I hope she is fine.

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May we meet again. 😊