The Worst Things In Life

Chapter Eighteen

Mary Jane

John was on a simple mission; to hate me and have me hate him. These past months he had done things to make me hate him.
I've told myself thousands of times that it would not work.

He needed saving, the more I tried the more he sunk. I've been patient and supportive, there were days I tried to talk to him. Days I desperately want him to realise that nothing was his fault. How can he blame himself for things that go wrong in a world we live in? We have no control over what happens anyway, so why take the blame?
It could have been worse, I could have died that day along with my baby. So, why is John like this? We can get our second chance, we have forever ahead of us. He should be grateful.

The doctor's office had called yesterday that my test results are out and ready for pick up. I've been dreading it because I hate to think that I could be pregnant. I don't want to be, but the signs were there. The morning sickness, the stretch marks and the drastic change in my choices of food.

I gave myself a once over in the mirror and I was pleased with what I saw. I walked downstairs to look for John. At last, I found him in the breakfast room. He sat there with his leftover tea from breakfast and he had a distant look. He was here but not here if you know what I mean.

"John, I have to go and see our family doctor. He called yesterday." I paused in case he had any input. When it became obvious he wasn't going to respond I continued, "anyway, my test results are out. I'll see you later." With that, I walked out the door into the bright sunny day.

****
A few hours later...

I came home sweating profusely, the hotness outside came with shivering. Since I ran out of the doctor's office the shaking won't stop. I've tried to wash my hands and face in the sink all to no avail.

I shot the door to the guest room and proceeded to the bed, I had to rest my head. God, I wanted to puke again when I recalled the happy faces of the nurses. Happy voices with their congratulations on my pregnancy and how God has given John and I a second chance filled my head.

'Was this a second chance?' If only they knew how I conceived this baby. The night John did despicable things a husband should never do to his wife.

I'm too ashamed to talk to Sarah, I had dialled her number three weeks ago but I had no courage to let it ring through. I've bottled that night up and locked it in the safe of forgotten memory never to be spoken of. Now, a baby was growing as a result of that night.

My mind wandered to the cursed day...

It started with yelling. John would yell at me for no damn reason. He had turned into an intolerable man after our baby passed. I got scolded when the food turned cold although it wasn't my fault he came down late for dinner. My usual name became 'useless' I was reminded how I couldn't do right the one thing I was married for.

John blamed me for rubbing him off every penny and had no way of earning a dime for the house. Talk of lost memories, he was the one who changed all my acceptance letters in rejected ones. I've been accused of despicable things and the friends I had left made excuses for why they can't hang out. Eventually, I stopped trying to get them to come over.

John had been out all day, he came home drunk and I couldn't take it. The past week had been a repetition, go to work sober and come home drunk. I barely see him and when I do he's so high that we can't hold a conversation and I was fed up of being the one left behind.  I was hurting too, you know?

"John you're home late again. The office closed at 4 pm" I stated.

"So what? A man doesn't have a right to be free?" He half yelled his question.

"I'm not saying you can't be free, but it's 11:45 pm. I worry too and you come home drunk. What kind of man does that?" I equally screamed at him.

"The kind of man who doesn't want to be disturbed. What's your problem?"

"You are... You act like the universe took something special from you. Maybe it did, but people have lost more and are living in a lot more pain. So, stop acting like a victim and be a man." His eyes flashed with hostility. I struck a nerve.

"So, I'm not a man?" His voice was cold, I stepped away as he advanced on me.

"I..its.. John..." I stammered as I beheld his furious face. He closed in on me unhurriedly, like an animal gauging his prey.

"I'll teach you Jane, I'll make you remember how man enough I am." He coldly whispered.

"No no no... John, snap out of it. Please, come morning and you will regret it." I begged but the man staring back at me wasn't my John. At that moment he looked unrecognisable, a demon-possessed man who will listen to no one.

I ceased the plea because it fell on deaf ears. I laid back and tried not to struggle from where John pinned me on the floor. Resisting will rile him up the more, so in silence, I suffered my fate.

Who will believe that a man raped his wife? Definitely, not John Nwafor. The son of Nwafor, a man of the people.

____
Authors note

Hey lovelies, I will write more on this chapter. For now, it's all I've got.
Editing will start soon, but let me know your thoughts on this chapter.

May we meet again,
Uche Smart.