Trying Not To Love You

Part Eighty Six

Chapter Eighty Six

A/N Thanks for following. Hectic weekend so not posted as much as usual. Sorry! Yep, this was on the cards for a while, the hints were fairly strong, so hats off to those who saw this coming. I'm sure that there'll be mixed responses to this chapter as with the others, but hey-ho, never thought that this would be quite so controversial. As someone posted previously, I take that as a compliment that you guys are getting so into it! 

Still a few more chapters to go, but then I did warn that this one was a tome, not quite war and peace, but a mammoth story for me! Enjoy...if you can!! ;)

Martha had never been weak or flaky, anything but, yet as she stood there, eyes darting between the two, she felt as though her whole world was crashing down around her, that the ground was literally moving, the room spinning. A dozen clichés all in one. For a moment her mind was empty, vacuously so. But all too suddenly a million thoughts hit her like a steam train. There was only one thing that could drive a wedge between them; the one single thing she couldn’t give him was now a reality. The one thing that could make her feel worthless. Just a few months ago her infertility wasn’t an issue, she’d not cared. Now...it was the only thing that could keep her from her happiness. Her legs felt like jelly, nausea rose in her throat. She looked at Jade; a hint of satisfaction in her eyes, when she glanced up at Sonny it was to see his face a cross between shock and horror. Desperate, she dropped her eyes. She needed fresh air...and space.

                “You both need to talk...” she offered, but in reality she needed to get out of there, away from them both, away from the pain that threatened to engulf her. She needed time and space to regroup, process things, and more than anything to be out of Jade’s knowing glare. Stepping backwards out of the room, unable to cope with the thought of what might be said she wanted to put her hands over her ears and shout loudly, to block out the woman who was about to ruin everything, to take everything away from her. Instead she dropped her head and tried to slip out

She’d not made it to the hall when she heard him snarl, presumably at Jade, “how the hell did this happen? STAY here.” When she tried to speak he snapped, “I said STAY there.”

Sonny spun on his heel, his heart racing, he felt sick, he could see Martha disappear out of the door, he had to stop her, this couldn't be happening. He ran to grab her wrist, “don’t run away! Please. Stop.” He was begging and he didn’t care.

She shook her head, “this is nothing to do with me, you need to discuss things with her.”

Sonny could see the way she lifted her jaw proudly, a strength that was a stark contrast to her eyes, the pain, the hurt, the fear, the devastation. It was all there. He groaned then dragged her into the kitchen, kicking the door closed behind them, “it doesn’t change anything, we have plans, a future. It’s me, and you. That’s it.”

And he believed that, this made no difference. Nothing was more important than the woman stood in front of him; he just needed to tell her, to show her that.

Martha stared up at him from her deep blue eyes, “she’s having a baby. Your baby.”

Her voice was a croak and every word haunted him, taking her hands he squeezed them, “I don’t care, WE are the important thing here.”

Martha took a deep breath, he could see her nostrils flare as she tried to fight off tears, “you told me you were careful, that I was the only one you’d ever took a risk with.”

                “I did! It is, we didn’t...you are,” his mind was fogging over, nothing made sense any more, other than the fact that he loved her, and the way she was looking at him he was losing her by the second. He pulled her into his arms, "I swear this changes nothing."