That North Carolina Summer

Fear of Drowning

Today's training is on CPR, and drowning. Great. We aren't required to pass on drawing training, but CPR is a must. I'm fine with CPR, it's the drowning I might have a problem with.

I think Rylie might still be upset with me, but she's staying by my side which I'm thankful for.

A counselor instructs us to split into groups of four. Someone taps my shoulder, and I turn to see Noah, and a boy I don't know.

"Mind if we join you?" Noah asks. I smile and nod, and he introduces his friend. "This is my buddy Seth, he's a third year."

We get into a comfortable conversation, and I notice Seth taking a lot of interest in Rylie. I pay attention to how she interacts with him, and I try to stop the feelings and emotions bubbling up in me.

I have no right. She isn't mine. She's just my friend and I can be okay with that.

I focus on what Noah is saying. I smile and laugh at all the right times but it's hard to not glance in Rylie's direction to see how she's acting with Seth.

We follow the CPR instructions, and I find myself laughing a lot, genuinely. We try not to get in trouble, but it's like the boys are doing it on purpose.

When a counselor comes over to check us off, we do our best to act completely normal, and are pleasantly surprised when we all pass.

We continue talking while everyone else finishes up. Rylie and Seth seem to really be getting along, and I can tell he likes her.

Who wouldn't?

Everyone starts walking towards the beach for the next session. I try not to let dread fill my stomach. Noah walks beside me, with Rylie and Seth in front of us. I try not to notice how their hands briefly touch.

Stop. There's no point in continuing these thoughts. Noah is perfectly nice, he's interested in me, so maybe I should give him a chance..."

We get to the beach before I can think about that anymore. The counselors tell us to get in pairs, and I get nervous, wondering if Noah is wanting to be partners. I hold my breath as Rylie and Seth turn to us.

"Sorry boys, I'm going to stick with Aspen on this one. She's the only one who understands my immense terror of fake drowning." I breathe out a sigh of relief as Rylie says this, and the four of us laugh.

A counselor begins explaining that we're going to take turns "saving" our partner. The victim is supposed to go out in the water and play around for a few minutes, and then fake drowning. The other partner has to wait and watch for the specific signs of drowning, and rush in and save them. It sounds simple enough, and yet the anxious feeling won't leave my stomach.

"You should go first. Get it over with. And don't worry, I will save you, Aspen." Rylie tells me. I'm thankful she can sense my nervousness, and is doing her best to help me feel less nervous.

I walk towards the water, grimacing at all the other kids faking their drownings. The kids twelve and under were excused from this part of the activity, and I find myself wishing to be a child again.

As I get chest deep in the ocean, I turn and see Rylie watching me. I let out a half sigh, half groan.

Better get this over with.

I lift my feet from the sand beneath me, and throw my hands up, acting out what I assume drowning looks like.

I'm so focused that I don't hear the big wave come up behind me. It slams into my back and head, pushing me underwater. I come up gasping for breath and realize I'm getting pulled out deeper and can no longer touch. I try not to let the panic engulf me.