That North Carolina Summer

Hidden Feelings

After free time and lunch, we have a normal surf lesson. I don't think my body could handle another brutal one after the run this morning.

Hopefully I can toughen up soon and be able to handle the harder lessons. How does Rylie do it?

I make a mental note to study Rylie and her techniques during our next run to hopefully learn a thing or two.

Speaking of studying Rylie...

I watch her as she waits for a wave, my eyes travel over her as she focuses, noting the way her legs straddle the board, her palms planted on the board in between her thighs.

Never thought I'd be jealous of a surfboard. How does she make everything look hot?

A look of concentration covers her face as she notices a wave coming her way. She slides onto her stomach, paddling to catch the wave, which she does perfectly.

I'm so focused on Rylie that I don't hear the yell behind me until it's almost too late. I turn quickly, seeing a person on a board rushing towards me. I throw myself off of my board just in time, but he hits my board, falling into the water. I swim towards him quickly, hoping he's alive.

"Aspen?" He says as I near him. "You okay?" I let out a laugh when I see that it's Noah.

"I'm fine! It's you I'm worried about!" He laughs, and I'm relieved that he's okay.

"I called out a few times, but you didn't hear me. I couldn't dodge you either, so I'm glad you were able to get out of the way fast enough!" I climb back onto my board and he does the same.

"I'm sorry, I was distracted." I turn towards shore to see where Rylie ended up, but don't see her anywhere.

"That's okay! IT's been a while since I last saw you, so I'm glad this happened!" He says with a laugh.

Seth joins us then, and I feel my face redden knowing he must've seen the whole indecent.

"Hey, Aspen. Where's Rylie?" He asks as soon as he reaches us.

This kid wastes no time.

"I'm not sure actually..." I say, surveying the shore again. "She just caught a wave, but I lost her when Noh almost ran me over."

"Ah, so that's why you were distracted!" Noah says with another laugh.

"No! Well, not like that, I was just..." I'm saved from my stuttering explanation when Rylie magically appears beside me.

"What's up, fellas! Long time no see!" She calls out with a smile. I don't miss the way Seth lights up as he sees Rylie. I use all my energy to keep my face neutral as she gives him a smile.

Here we go again.

Seth was painfully obvious with his attraction towards Riley. Then again, what guy wasn't? Truthfully, I couldn't blame him for being smitten the way he was. I hated it, but I couldn't blame him in the slightest.

I turn back towards Noah and ask him what he's been up to. I pay attention to his body language, focusing on how he interacts with me. I quickly realize he acts basically the same as Seth, but he's more subtle about it. I also notice how kind he is. He is respectful in a way Gabe never was. I don't think Gabe even had the capability.

Noah asks me a lot about myself, only talking about his own life when I ask. He seems to know that people automatically like you more when you let them talk about themselves. He had started asking me more personal questions, and I wanted to stay away from those.

"So, you play soccer, right?" I ask, knowing it was a topic he loved. He smiles, telling me all about his team and past seasons.

I listen closely, but also keep an eye on Rylie and Seth, inwardly grimacing as he comes up with stupid excuses to touch her legs or hands. Rylie glances over at me as I watch, and I don't have time to wipe the scowl from my face. I watch as she raises one eyebrow, slightly cocking her head to the side. My eyes narrow as I see the corner of her mouth lift into a smile.

She turns back to Seth and grabs his hands, and it looks like she's teaching him some elaborate hand trick. My eyes narrow again, almost to the point of closing as I feel jealousy boiling inside of me.

She knows. She's doing this on purpose.

"Hey. Want to see who can hold their breath the longest?" I ask Noah as he finishes his sentence. He nods excitedly and we slip off our boards into the water.

I watch Rylie from the corner of my eye, and see her turn to watch us. I count to three and Noah and I duck beneath the water. I open my eyes, letting them adjust to the salt water. I watch as Noah does the same, and he gives me a small wave.

We're far enough out that I can't see the bottom, and I try not to think about what could be under us.

I manage to hold my breath for a good minute or so before I start to get uncomfortable. I watch as Noah starts to squirm, smiling when he swims to the surface. I wait a few more seconds before following.

"How do you hold your breath so long! You probably had another 30 seconds in you, huh?"

"Yeah..." I say as a smile creeps over my face. "I had a lot of practice growing up." Noah shakes his head and laughs.

I risk a quick glance towards Rylie, instantly seeing she's pissed.

Just what I'd hoped for. Jealousy is a bitch.

I give her a quick smile, to which she rolls her eyes. Noah and I talk for the remainder of the lesson, and I find myself enjoying his company. He's the first guy I've allowed this close since Gabe.

The boys say their goodbyes and head back towards shore. I paddle towards Riley, hoping I didn't go to far.

"So... Seth really likes you."  I say after a moment.

"Yeah, he's pretty obvious isn't he?" Rylie responds with a soft laugh. "I feel like I'm just leading him on. He even knows that I'm interested in someone else."

This got my full attention. My eyes snap to hers, and she seems to be waiting for my reaction.

"Oh..." I clear my throat. "Well if Seth knows that, then that's on him."

"I'm pretty sure this other person knows. Or at least suspects." I hold my breath as Rylie continues, surprised she's willing to talk about it at all. "I don't know if they feel the same, though. It's sometimes really hard for me to read them." She glances up at me and I take in the mix of emotions: Hope, fear, frustration and something else I can't quite place.

"Have you thought about telling them?" She nods.

"Yeah. But I'm worried that it would be a messy situation."

She's giving me next to nothing to go off of. Messy how? Messy as in, he has a girlfriend and his name is Sam? Or messy as in... it's a girl?

I shake the thought from my head, refusing to let my hopes rise.

"Maybe they feel the same?" I say softly, wishing I could just tell her.

Rylie doesn't get to respond before a counselor blows the final whistle. We paddle in, catching a final wave that takes us to shore.