Forget The World

31

02/11

I wrote your letter today,
A little late, I do confess-
Forgive me, I am only just getting over the anniversary,
It's still too raw.
I don't know what's happened since the last time I wrote-
I got crazy, I guess.
Maybe I'll burn this one.
What was it last time? I buried it.
I should have written sooner,
I should have taken it to the sea, and let you float off.
Perhaps, subconsciously, I was worried you'd drown.
She found you in the bathroom.
On the floor.
But with the taps running-
Why did you leave them on?
Did you want the water to wash you away?
You always liked swimming-
So did I, actually.
.Now I am terrified.
Water fills me with cold, sickening, dread.
And yet.
The memory of sailing on the open ocean still soothes me.
I have lost everything I had from you.
Your Words, my Truths. Your Jokes, my Heart.
They're all gone-
But I'm still searching.
I'm still looking for them in day-to-day life,
I'm still looking for you.
There's pieces of you strewn haphazardly on my shelves in the form of paperback books,
You're in every single journal I write in-
The first page is always blessed with your name, your smile. And your demise.
We were yellow in the sun, pink in the evening,
We were blue, green, golden.
We were infinite and endless.
Or at least we thought.
We found paradise on the earth.
Now I'm in hell and you're just in the ground.