Forget The World

28

I'd like to go back to the times when we used to sit opposite each other and write our shitty poetry,
We had one side of the pool each and we spoke in whispers.
Beneath the tall oak tree was my special place, in the corner,
Yours was under the proud willow that swayed in the wind.
And when we were done we'd put them on the wall, all nice and neat to remain forever.
I can see them now,
When I close my eyes it's all I see-
The one about the shattered glass, the endless void.. I could go on, I could get lost in it.
I could get lost in you.
Do you remember that time we went to the farm?
And we sat there for hours and just talked.
Talking was our thing,
Our Thing.
I could talk to you for days on end back then, and I would,
Everybody would ask how we found new things to talk about,
But we never needed to search for things to say,
They came and they came and they came.
The things I could talk to you about now, I wouldn't know where to start,
I wouldn't be able to stop.

I hate to admit it but I know I would be angry.
You have to understand I would be angry,
Jesus Christ I'm furious.
You should have told me sooner,
Given me more time to prepare,
I needed to be weaned off you like a child,
I idolised you for God's sake!
You gave me one week,
You turned to me one day and told me that you had to go,
And you weren't coming back,
And no it wasn't me,
But you just couldn't stay,
And I couldn't follow after you.
And an and. and and an and.
And you told me you loved me.
You said.
.I love you.

But then everything was normal for your final week,
Except it wasn't.
I noticed how you said things more delicately,
I could hear the hurt in your voice whenever you mustered up the courage to look at me,
I know you didn't want to leave!
Is that what you want to hear?? That it was against your will?!

We didn't sit in the pool anymore,
My oak tree stood alone,
We didn't whisper,
My parchment sat untouched.
And a week later you told me you loved me again,
And a week later you were gone,
And a week later you tore my heart out,
And a week later you didn't know me.
A week later I wanted to die.
You made me want to die.

You said you'd always be there for me, to hold my hand and wipe my tears, to dance with me, to live with me.
And then you weren't,
You broke your promise.
I shouted at you for months on end about it,
I roared at the sky for you to feel my anger and my pain,
I cried to the moon and begged her to bring you back.
But you never showed your face.
'A horse a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'
My love my love, the world for my love.

Don't you find it funny how the times change?
I'm perfectly (depressed) happy now,
In a relationship with a girl (a girl) who idolises me like I idolised you,
But I wouldn't leave her like that,
I wouldn't tear her apart in the same way.

It has been. Four and a half years. now,
And you never fail to make my stomach clench and my heart stiffen,
My fingers still twitch when I hear your name, they still compose the poetry you'll never get to hear,
For my fires only.