EPIPHANY

Apricus

Full of sunlight

Matapos ang marahang pagsara ng pinto ng kanyang silid, dumeretso si Carrack palabas ng balkonahe. Mula sa bulsa ng shorts na soot ay kinuha n'ya ang pakete ng sigarilyo at nagsindi ng isang piraso. Matapos magpakawala ng isang malalim ng hininga ay sumandal s'ya sa salaming dingding na nagbabahagi ng sala at balkonahe. Filling his lungs with the smoke, he looked at the busy life of Cubao before him.

Naguguluhan kung ano ang dapat maramdaman ay mabilis na bumabangon ang inis sa buong sistema n'ya. If there's something he feared the most, that's uncertainty.

Carrack likes Hannah. It started with a simple infatuation. Hannah is his type of woman. She's so feminine, prim, soft-spoken, and she have the gentle glow with her. But what attracted him the most was her innocent charm and her delicate aura. She looks fragile and he wants to take care of her.

As he spent time with Hannah, Carrack started to got drawn more and more. The more he got to know her depth, the more he took things seriously. And the moment their lips touched, he made a promise with himself that he will take care of her.

Carrack isn't on the point where he can declare his love yet. Hindi n'ya pa alam kung pagmamahal na ang nararamdaman n'ya para sa dalaga. Ang sigurado n'ya lang ay ayaw n'ya na nasasaktan ito. Nababagabag s'ya sa tuwing makikita n'ya ang takot at pag-aalinlangan sa mukha ni Hannah. Nayayanig s'ya sa tuwing umiiyak ang dalaga at nakikita n'ya kung paano ito nasasaktan.

And now that they resorted to a desperate move, he's wishing and praying hard for everything to be alright. Because Hannah deserves the peace of mind. Hannah deserves happiness. And Carrack wants to be that happiness for her.

Gusto ni Carrack na malaman ang nangyari sa nakaraan. He also wants the truth. But he wants to keep his promise with Hannah. Sa dami ng kabiguan na sumira sa tiwala ng dalaga, isinusumpa ni Carrack na hindi na s'ya dadagdag doon. He wants to assure her that she can trust him and his words. Gusto n'ya na patunayan kay Hannah na hindi s'ya magiging kabiguan nito.

Kahit hindi pa s'ya sigurado sa nararamdaman n'ya, seryoso si Carrack kay Hannah. Hindi n'ya sasaktan at bibiguin ito. Gusto n'ya na ibigay ang lahat ng pagpapahalaga, pag-aalaga, at respeto na nararapat para sa dalaga.

Sa malalim na pag-iisip, hindi na namalayan ni Carrack na nakaubos na s'ya ng sampung sticks ng sigarilyo. Panandaliang natulala s'ya bago bumalik sa loob para kumuha ng bagong pakete ng sigarilyo mula sa nakaimbak sa isang drawer sa bar n'ya.

Bitbit ang isang bote ng whiskey at shot glass na nilagyan n'ya ng yelo, bumalik s'ya sa balkonahe. Anxiety started to crawl on his system. He's worried for Hannah. He knows that this moment, as he sat in the silence, Hannah is facing her fears. And thinking how she's breaking herself just to be able to be alright, he wants to dive straight to hell and face that demon haunting Hannah.

And yes, he believes Hannah. There's no way that she's just making things up. The fear and anxiety clouding her aura is too genuine to be made up. The hatred burning in her soft eyes at the mention of the name is as vivid as the blazing sun. And as he listened to her, he knew in his heart that he believes in her words.

And as coward as it may seems, part of him also doesn't wish to hear the whole of the story. Dahil kung ngayon na alam n'ya pa lang na nasira ni Skipper Vergara si Hannah at may nagawa itong masama noon ay nakakaramdam na s'ya ng galit. Baka kung malalaman n'ya ang detalye ng kademonyahan ng lalaki ay baka makapatay s'ya.

Carrack Licht Amante would not give a fuck that Skipper Vergara is his cousin's husband. And Caspian Mondragon is aware of that. Tahimik na tao si Carrack pero alam ni Caspian na kayang tumawid nito sa sukdulan kung magkakaroon ito ng rason.