Warning!- mentions of suicide! (not explicit)
~
Dean and Castiel had finally pulled their heads out of their asses and started dating- instead of jumping right into it everyone they knew insisted they take it slow so they did
Going on dates every weekend, soft touches and kisses here and there, they didn't even have sex 'til the 4th date and yes-
It was worth the wait-
So after 42 days of bliss they finally decided it was time for Cas to move into to Dean's room
So that's what they were doing, Dean was helping Cas clear out his room and move stuff into his before they went shopping for things to spice up the room that was soon to be theirs
Dean was looking through drawers in Cas' dresser for anymore clothes when he stumbled upon a gun
He frowned, Cas wasn't the gun type, he picked it up and checked the clip, it was loaded but with only one bullet..a familiar looking bullet at that
"Dean?- what are you-"
"Why do you have a gun with an angel killing bullet Cas?" Dean questioned as he turned around, Cas winced slightly having forgotten that he had put it there "Um.."
Dean frowned "Why do you have a gun with an angel killing bullet?" He asked again, more seriously
Cas walked into the room "..Dean you have to understand..ever since we met my life has been crazy- I've lost friends and I've killed my family- I don't blame you for any of it but I keep the gun there in case..in case I ever want to-"
His boyfriend grimaced "What kill yourself?"
Cas nodded solemly, Dean recoiled "Cas..you're..you're serious?" He was more than shocked "You can't..I know are lives are hard and I'm not in any place to say this but that's just selfish"
Cas squinted "What-?"
"I get that you used to be a warrior and all but you act like they're aren't people how will miss you- I literally killed myself the last time you died" He said "Think about Jack!- you're practicality his dad!- and Claire, she'd miss the hell out of you-"
"And what about me?..this past month together has been awesome and I don't plan on it ever ending- so get rid of this thing because just knowing you have it breaks my heart" Dean sighed "Trust me there are days when I think about ending it too but the thought of leaving Sam..leaving you.."
He put the gun down and advanced towards Castiel "If you're looking for something to live for try the fact that I'm in love with you"
Cas was taken back, Dean had never said the words before and Cas insisted that he was more than okay with waiting "I love you too"
Dean smiled sheepishly "Good.." He tried to shake off the feeling of nervousness, but Cas just smiled at him "Good"
