holding on {t.r.}

t w e n t y n i n e

"Can you believe that tomorrow we'll be entering our final year at Hogwarts?" Melissa asked, looking around the table at her friends.

"All these years together and we only had to cheat death once," Avery smiled, glancing over at Tom who seemed lost in thought. Alexandra looked at him, noticing he's seemed distracted for some time now. He would go straight to bed without saying a word at night, and would get out of bed before she woke up the next morning.

"Are we ready to go then?" Melissa asked, holding her supplies list in the air.

The four of them stood up from the table, grabbing their own lists before apparating one by one to go to Diagon Alley for the last time.

They spent a decent amount of time visiting shops to buy their new books, cauldrons and quills, but also spent time visiting small shops they had never had a chance to explore before such as Sugarplum's Sweets Shop and Gambol and Japes. They were on their way into the Leaky Cauldron when Tom pulled Alexandra aside and excused himself.

"There's a shop we passed by that I'd like to look at. I'll return shortly," Tom smiled, kissing Alexandra on the cheek before retreating without question. Alexandra sighed, making her way into the pub and searching for her friends.

"Do you think he went to get you a gift?" Melissa asked, attempting to make Alexandra feel better after noticing her mood shift.

"I doubt it. He's been extremely distant lately. The only time we get alone is when we go to bed, but he won't even talk to me then," Alexandra shrugged. "I figured he needs space, which I completely understand, but I can't help but feel bothered."

"Maybe he's getting tired of you," Avery blurted out, causing Alexandra to frown and Melissa to glare. "I'm joking, relax. The bloke is head over heels for you. I'm sure you're just over-examining the situation."

"You wonder why nobody ever asks you for advice," Alexandra glared, sipping her butterbeer as soon as it was placed in front of her.

"You can always go looking for him," Avery shrugged, leaning back in his chair as he sipped his own drink.

"I'm not going to do that."

"Give him the cold shoulder," Melissa suggested. "Make him feel how you feel."

"But that's mean-"

"Do you not remember how you two treated each other before you dated?" Melissa asked. "Being mean is part of your dynamic."

Alexandra kept her mouth shut, disliking all of their suggestions but not wanting to hear more. Instead, she drank her butterbeer and sulked as she began imagining every possible reason that could explain why he was acting so strange. Maybe he really was becoming tired of her. After all, they've spent every moment together for the past two months.

"Welcome back, bastard," Avery called, raising his second empty glass to Tom as he finally entered the pub. "Where'd you run off to?"

"Obscurus Books," he lied, sitting down.

"Did you get anything?" Melissa asked. Tom shook his head.

"Nothing interested me that I didn't already have," he lied again, glancing over at Alexandra who was looking down at her cup. He looked at Avery who shrugged, sipping his new butterbeer as if he didn't know a thing.

Tom left the matter alone for most of the day, not being bothered until Alexandra turned away from him in bed that night. They always went to bed facing each other.

He snaked his arm around her waist and she closed her eyes, feeling guilty for ignoring him without any good reason to.

"Something is bothering you," Tom stated quietly, knowing she was awake. He was afraid she knew where he truly went that afternoon, but he assured himself that was impossible.

Alexandra turned towards Tom and took in his embrace, but still said nothing. She decided not to mention her worries until after they returned to Hogwarts. Instead, she savored the moment and went to bed without a word. This kept Tom up all night.

Did she know? Had she found his letters from Lestrange?

Nothing has changed. He still wanted nothing to do with his classmate. He simply met with him and his newly formed "army interest group" in Knockturn Alley to humor him, nothing more. He figured if he didn't, he would be a target in their eyes. If he was a target, so was Alexandra.

He was stuck. Join Lestrange and risk Alexandra walking away from him, or openly speak up against Lestrange and risk Alexandra getting hurt or killed as a result. He could only do so much to protect her. He wasn't invincible. At least, not anymore.

Still, if Alexandra walking away from him meant she stayed alive, that was a risk he was willing to take. There was always the thought in the back of his mind, though, that them being apart wouldn't stop Lestrange from using her to hurt him. If he truly wanted to protect her, there was only one thing he could do, and he was more than willing to do it.

He needed a plan, but he had time. He would spend his final year at Hogwarts training, ensuring that his skills were unmatched. Once they graduated, his plan would be executed, Lestrange would be dead, and Alexandra would be safe.

He ran his fingers up and down her arm, taking in the feeling of her skin upon his fingertips.

"I love you," he whispered as she slept, just as he has been doing every morning before he left to train. She never heard him, but he didn't need her to. She knew. She had to.

"I love you," she whispered back, having been awake the whole time. Her eyes opened slowly and a small smile crept upon her face as Tom pushed her hair behind her ear.

"I apologize for my detachment. I've had a lot on my mind regarding our return to school," Tom told her truthfully. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"I understand. Avery just made me think-" Alexandra started, giggling when Tom rolled his eyes. "I know, never listen to Avery."

"Never," Tom emphasized. "We're all right, then?"

"Yes," Alexandra smiled, running her fingers up and down his chest as they both relaxed.

"This time last year is when I realized I didn't hate you," Tom told her. "Although I didn't admit it until much later."

"Merlin, that was a good snog," Alexandra reminisced, causing Tom to laugh. "You can't tell me it wasn't."

"I suppose it was," Tom smiled.

"How excited are you to go back to sharing a room with Avery?" Alexandra joked.

"Well, it's a given that sharing a room with Avery doesn't provide the same benefits of sharing a room with you," Tom smirked. Alexandra chuckled. "In less than a year, though, we'll have graduated and can share much more than just a bedroom. If that's something you'd wish to do, of course."

"I like that idea," Alexandra smiled.

"Yeah?" Tom asked, pulling Alexandra closer to him.

"Yeah," she nodded, kissing him happily.