holding on {t.r.}

e i g h t e e n

Snow surrounded the castle as the once bland corridors slowly filled with holiday decorations. As each day passed, students became increasingly excited for the break ahead. A select group of students, however, reserved their excitement for Slughorn's annual Christmas party. Why students were so eager to get invited, though, Alexandra didn't understand. Perhaps the idea of being included in what is seen as a somewhat 'secret' club was attractive, or maybe it was the simple idea of attending a party.

While Alexandra was completely turned off by Slughorn's party, a small part of her hoped she'd be given an excuse to go. Specifically, she hoped to attend with Tom.

Since their conversation months ago, which neither of them have mentioned since, Alexandra's opinion of both Tom and herself have drastically changed.

Alexandra had no idea what she wanted to do with her life or where she wanted to go after Hogwarts, but she knew one thing: she wanted to be happy. Perhaps giving Tom a chance and letting him into her life as more than an academic acquaintance would provide some of the happiness she craved. It could also ruin her life, but that's a chance she's willing to take now. She would never be happy if she didn't give herself the opportunity in the first place.

"Are you excited for the Christmas party?" Alexandra asked awkwardly, standing beside Tom in Astronomy.

"Not particularly," Tom answered, scribbling down notes on a piece of parchment he had lying atop his textbook.

"Oh," Alexandra mumbled, doing the same. Tom quickly glanced over at her, bringing his eyes back to his paper before she could notice. "Perhaps company would make the evening more bearable."

Alexandra regretted the words she spoke immediately after they left her mouth. She felt they made her seem desperate and gave Tom another reason to humiliate her. If he thought it was funny to screw with her emotions before, he'll surely get a kick out of it now.

"I mean Avery and Lestrange, of course," she quickly excused. So much for taking a chance, she thought.

"Of course," Tom added. "I reckon you have no interest in attending, then?"

"I wouldn't exactly be opposed to attending," Alexandra hesitated, closing her ink and drying her quill.

"Good," Tom stated, closing his parchment in his textbook. "Be ready by nightfall tomorrow. You'll be attending with me."

"I-" Alexandra started, watching as Tom walked away without saying another word. "Okay."

For the rest of the night as well as the following morning, Alexandra felt what she could only describe as sick.

"Why haven't you put your dress on?" Melissa asked, turning around so Alexandra could zip up the back of hers.

"I feel awful," Alexandra whined, causing Melissa to grow concerned.

"You don't look sick," Melissa pointed out. She knew how Alexandra looked when she was sick, and she looked nothing like it.

"My hands won't stop shaking, I'm sweating and I feel as if I'm about to vomit," Alexandra stressed, beginning to pace back and forth. Melissa smiled.

"You're not sick," Melissa giggled, handing Alexandra her dress. "Sick in the head, maybe."

"What do you mean?" Alexandra panicked.

"You're nervous, silly," Melissa told her.

"You can't tell me you're actually nervous," Avery laughed, watching Tom adjust his tie for what must have been the hundredth time.

"I'm not nervous," Tom argued. "My tie is crooked."

"I'm not nervous," Alexandra stated, taking the dress and going into the bathroom to change. When she returned, she was quick to make Melissa zip up her dress before she did anything else. "Is it all the way up?"

"Yes," Melissa laughed. "I promise."

"Does this look straight to you?" Tom asked Avery, no longer trusting the mirror.

"It's as straight as you are, Tom," Avery joked, making his way to the common room to wait for Melissa. Tom, still worried about his tie, followed him.

"Did Dumbledore look younger in class yesterday?" Alexandra asked in an attempt to distract herself. Melissa took none of it, quickly snapping her friend back to reality.

"Do you think this is a date?" Melissa asked, not helping Alexandra's situation. When Alexandra groaned in frustration, she defended herself. "You told me that you want to open up to the possibility of being happy and maybe the possibility of falling in love. You'll never get there if you don't have someone to push you. You're not exactly the most optimistic person."

"Is this a date for you two?" Avery asked Tom, smirking when Tom seemed to stiffen up.

"What makes this occasion different from the rest?" Tom asked, playing with his tie again.

"It feels different, yeah? Otherwise you wouldn't be screwing around with your tie like a madman," Avery chuckled. Tom huffed.

"Do you think I should wear a different one?"

"Do you think this dress is alright?" Alexandra asked. "Are you sure the zipper is up?"

"The zipper is up, and you look beautiful," Melissa smiled, helping Alexandra pin her hair back. "Just act as if it's any other night you and Tom have spent together."

"What if he has... intentions?" Alexandra asked shyly.

"Do you reckon you two will end the night in bed?" Avery smirked.

"I don't intend for that to happen," Tom admitted respectfully, knowing not to expect anything from her that she wasn't comfortable with. Sure, he once planned to take over the world through a murderous conquest, but that didn't make him any less of a gentleman.

"I'm happy for you," Melissa smiled, putting the final pin in Alexandra's hair. "I wish you the very best of luck this evening, wherever it may take you."

"Good luck, mate," Avery stated, patting Tom on the back as he watched the two girls enter the common room. "You bloody need it."

"Why would I-" Tom started, stopping halfway through his sentence when he looked up and saw Alexandra approaching him. He's seen her dress up, but not like this. He was, to say the least, impressed.

"Shall we go, then?" Alexandra asked, hoping to leave before Melissa and Avery started snogging. Unsurprisingly, though, Melissa and Avery were more interested in their friends than each other.

"Yes," Tom stated, straightening his posture to make it seem as if he was unphased. "After you."

Both Alexandra and Tom stayed silent during most of their walk to the party while Melissa and Avery walked close behind them. The only time Alexandra spoke up was to tell Tom something she thought was important for him to know.

"Tom?" She asked, getting his attention. "Your tie is crooked."