holding on {t.r.}

f i f t e e n

"Alexandra-" Tom started, making it a point to call the girl by her first name. She stopped in her tracks, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath before turning around.

"You've been screwing with me all day, and I'm sick of it," she stated angrily. "You've made your point. I let my emotions get the best of me, but I quite honestly don't care. They don't change me, they just make me a little bit more human than someone like you who takes pride in fucking with other people's emotions rather than embracing your own. You don't care about anyone but yourself, and I'm tired of trying to convince myself I'm wrong."

"You are," Tom simply stated, keeping his perfect posture. Alexandra scoffed, turning on her heel and continuing to walk away while he called after her. "Contrary to the beliefs of many, I am capable of caring for others. I simply express my interest in unconventional ways such as what you would refer to as fucking with your emotions."

"You expect me to believe you care about me?" Alexandra chuckled, turning on her heel once again. "That anything you do is actually for my benefit rather than your own?"

Tom smirked, walking towards Alexandra in the same manner he had only hours ago in the Room of Requirement. She stood still, not phased by his procession.

"I understand you're particularly gifted in Legilimency," Tom stated, stopping when he finally reached the girl. "My mind is free to explore... if you're not afraid of the dark, of course."

She stood still, taking advantage of this opportunity and looking deep into the complex mind of Tom Riddle. Despite seeming calm, Alexandra was feeling the most pain and anger she had felt in her entire life. Her negative feelings towards the world around her were nothing compared to Tom's, and she felt sorry for ever believing her life was bad. Each feeling ate at her more and more as time went on, with the negative outweighing the positive by tons. Her fists clenched until they turned white, and her nails dug so deep into the skin of her palms that they began to bleed, but she didn't pull away. Not until the moment she felt as if her soul was being ripped from her chest.

"You're afraid," Tom pointed out the moment she stopped. "You had the opportunity to see anything; reveal all of my secrets, but you didn't."

"I'm not afraid. Your secrets are not mine to know," Alexandra stated, loosening her fists. "I also believe your emotions are much more insightful than your memories."

"You already know, don't you?" Tom asked, not believing her excuse.

"I've known from the day you asked me to call you Lord Voldemort," Alexandra admitted. "I would have never guessed, though, that you're capable of feeling remorse. That was much more interesting to discover than how you opened the Chamber of Secrets."

Tom's smile quickly faded as his most private emotions were exploited. He was sure that he hid that moment of weakness and vulnerability deep inside him where he thought it could never be found, but he was wrong. The feeling was too strong to be pushed away.

"It's not a bad thing," Alexandra continued, noticing his discomfort. "It makes you a much better person than your father ever was."

"It makes me weak," Tom seethed, clenching his fists. Alexandra shook her head, trying as hard as she could to keep calm.

"Your anger makes you weak," she argued. "You want to believe you feel nothing; that your emotions can't stop you from becoming the most powerful sorcerer in the world because you don't have any. You're wrong."

"You know nothing," Tom defended. Alexandra waited for the familiar look of darkness to fill his eyes, but it never did. He wasn't going to hurt her.

"You've spend years seeking revenge; vengeance for what your father did to you. You spent so much time trying to prove yourself that it distracted you from your goals. You don't have to be a murderer to be the most powerful wizard in the world," she persisted, holding her head high. "You got what you need. Your father is dead, and you'll never get caught. Stop focusing on revenge, and start focusing on power. That's what you want, isn't it?"

"Don't tell me what I want. Don't tell me who I am," he said angrily, careful not to raise his voice and attract attention from unwanted listeners.

"What do you want, then? Who do you want to be?" She asked, becoming impatient when he didn't give her an answer. She took a step closer to Tom, causing him to pull out his wand and press it underneath her chin. She still held her head high, convincing herself that he wasn't going to hurt her. "You deserve power, but not like this."

Tom tightened his grip around his wand, hearing nothing but the pounding of his heart beating against his chest. Who did he want to be? Right now, he didn't know. Nobody has cared for him before; no one gave a damn if he ruined everything he was only to become the man he aspired to be. He never thought there was another option until now.

"Why do you care?" He asked, slowly lowering his wand as his breathing steadied.

"My entire life, I craved the feeling of being loved. I wanted nothing more to know how different my life would be if someone actually cared about me," Alexandra explained. "Melissa is the friend I always needed. The friend who will always point me north and make me feel like I'm worth more than I ever believed. She brought light to my darkness. Everybody deserves a person like that in their life."

Tom was silent once again. He was far from sentimental, so he was at a complete loss for words. He couldn't think of a single way to tell her that she was that person, but she already knew. She felt it. She just wished she could hear him admit it.

"What are you doing?" He asked, feeling extremely uncomfortable as Alexandra wrapped her arms around his waist and placed her head on his chest.

"Hugging you," she stated bluntly.

"Stop it," he whined, lightly pushing her away from him.

"You can stick your tongue down my throat but hugging is what bothers you?" Alexandra scoffed. "Boy, you really know how to ruin a moment."

"We weren't having a 'moment'," Tom argued, beginning to walk away. Alexandra followed, excited to ease the tension and return to their regularly scheduled bickering. "I don't like you."

"Your emotions tell me otherwise," Alexandra sang.

"They were obviously fake. I simply put them in your head to screw with you," Tom lied.

"Why can't you just admit that you like me?"

"It would go against everything I stand for," Tom smirked, becoming more and more amused as the conversation continued.

"Which is what exactly?"

"Not liking you."