A Reviving Vocal

XXIV - Scars Left

"Eumeleia."

"Uy, bakit 'di mo ko pinapansin?"

Monday, October 6. This promised day that I swore to Aisha and Rae that I will never talk to him again. Even though I still love him.

"Talk to me." He held my wrist but I snatched it away from him quickly. I shouldn't look at him. If I do, I might cry in front of him. And I don't want that. He grabbed me by my shoulders and shoved me onto the wall, gently, causing my books to fall on the ground. "Why won't you talk to me? Did I do anything wrong?"

Those eyes... I miss staring at them. I miss looking at him.

I can't be deceived by him. No... I won't fail.

I tried pushing him away but he's still too strong against me. We're in the library and the worse part is that no one comes into this corner of the room. While I was looking away from him, he eventually let go of me and I immediately picked up my books. "Tell me what's wrong." He crouched on the floor and he's probably staring at me now. I grabbed my pen from my pocket and ripped a piece of paper from the notebook.

'I hate you. Leave me the hell alone. You have no chance against me.'

Then I hurriedly lifted up the rest of the books on the floor and ran away from him to the corridors of the school.

Just when I thought I got away from him, he suddenly grabbed my arm and in a swift motion, we were already inside an empty classroom. The books fell again and he pinned me against the wall. He wasn't talking. Just the thought of him staring at my face all over again makes me flustered, as if he didn't do anything wrong before. I looked at my surroundings and then I just realized that his face is already inches away from mine.

His eyes are those dark brown of shade -- lost of words wanting to say, questions that are needed to be answered. Eyes that are looking at me so desperately, searching for something to the deepest part of my eyes. And then his lips that he used to kiss my nose and my forehead, just like how he does it to a baby, so caring -- as if I'm as fragile as a glass. Seeing him this close again made my eye drop a tear.

And then he kissed me. On my lips.

So passionately strong.

I'm struggling to get out of his grip but I failed, of course. I wasn't ready for this. This was a stupid thing to do but I can't help myself from responding to his actions -- by giving up from getting away from him.

"Eumeleia..." He was about to close the gap between us again but I stopped him from doing so. I placed both of my hands on his shoulders and pushed him away with all my might. "Bakit ba? Anong kasalanan ko sa'yo? Sabihin mo na kasi par--"

A loud smack was heard in the entire room. Even myself was shocked with what I did. I slapped him, and this caused me to panic and run away from the classroom he was in.

He cried too.

Those few seconds when I stood still, he was shedding tears. Now I feel really guilty. His face looked so sincere... maybe he was just joking about before? This is so confusing! I really don't know what to feel anymore.

Tumakbo lang ako ng tumakbo hanggang sa nakarating ulit ako sa likod ng school. Napag-isipan kong huwag na munang um-attend ng mga klase para huminahon naman ang mga nararamdaman ko. This happened before too.

There were people walking around inside the building by the windows so I hid against on one of the corners of the exterior wall. I leaned my body on the cold, hard bricked wall and held both of my knees close to my chest -- just to make myself feel safe. I knew I should've brought my phone today so I could at least entertain myself.