Our Nanny is a Boy || bxb

14. No

When Peter woke up to the smell of omelettes, he released a very relieved sigh. He's here. Robin is here.

Immediately after realizing that, he recalled the dream of last night, where he had called Robin, who had promised to stay for a very long time- wait, was that a dream, or...

He unlocked his phone and found two calls to Robin at 1.20 AM, initiated by himself. As he recalled the entire conversation, he felt the need to hit himself. In the middle of the night, he had called his nanny, while being in this kind of mental state, a literal crying mess, and that while he was a 27-year-old man and father who was definitely supposed to be at least a bit more mature than that pure nineteen-year-old boy who already had more than enough problems to deal with. 

It was wrong. This was not something he should use a nanny for. Robin was there for Felicia and David, not for him.

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Robin walked in later with two plates and two glasses on a tray. 'Good morning, Peter!' he said in a cheerful voice. 'Did you sleep well?'

Peter nodded. He truly slept well after the phone call. No nightmares, no waking up every now and then, he slept until just a few minutes ago, very peacefully.

'Your parents and the kids are eating downstairs.' Robin said. 'But I will join you, I mean, if you'd like me to.'

'I mean... you're the nanny. Wouldn't it be logical if you ate downstairs with the kids?'

'Your parents would like to spend some quality time with their grandchildren too. Besides, I'm not here as their nanny right now, I'm here as your friend.' Robin helped him sit up and dragged a chair to the bedside. 'Don't think so much, let's just eat.'

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'About last night...'Peter started, while he was eating the omelette -which still managed to make his eyes get teary because of the heavenly taste- but Robin cut him off. 'It's okay, I couldn't sleep anyways.'

'No.' Peter said, laying down his fork. 'It's not okay.'

Robin looked at him with big eyes, but Peter looked back without blinking. 'You keep saying "it's okay" and doing more than I already ask of you, and you keep denying that I am burdening you, and smiling while taking care of me in all kinds of ways. I really appreciate what you are doing for me, but it makes me feel like I'm a burden, no matter what you say.'

'But-'

Peter cut Robin off. 'No. I'm going to find a therapist. I obviously need help, and it's not something I should let you do. So please say "no" to me too, not just for yourself, but to remind me, okay? Then I promise I will find professional help.'

'You... never had therapy after Leah passed away?' Robin asked in surprise.

Peter shook his head. 'I was fine. I just lived my life. My only problem was sleeping at night. But it is only now that I realize that sleeping wasn't the problem. Once I'm all alone, without anything to distract myself with, that is when the pain comes out. Basically, the entire past year I have been running, distracting myself, and I think I have just never given myself the chance to actually process anything.'

Robin looked at him with concerned eyes. 'That could be very possible... I think it's not a bad idea to go into therapy. Actually, I have a therapist too. I don't go there too often anymore, just for my insomnia, but she really helped me a lot when my mom passed away, and with some other things too. I could give you her number.'

'Could you?' Peter looked at Robin hopefully. 'That would be of great help.'

'Sure.' Robin said. 'I am really glad that you have decided to get help. Seeing you like last night, and the night before... I really don't like that. You are such a warm and kind person, you don't deserve to suffer like that.'

Peter felt a warm feeling in his chest at that comment.

'However,' Robin said, voice stern, 'saying you are using me as a therapist or that I am doing things a therapist would do, I have to say I disagree about that. You are not expecting me to help you move on from what happened and process it. You just need someone by your side because you can't bear it on your own right now. And that, staying by your side and just listening to you, that is what friends are for.'

'But isn't it just one-sided like this? Am I not-'

'It is not.' Robin reassured him. 'I wasn't planning on telling you this, but last night I was having a hard time, remembering some painful memories. I was feeling really bad and blaming myself, even though I know it is not my fault. I couldn't breathe and if you hadn't called me, I wouldn't have been able to snap out of it easily. So I am really grateful that you called right at that moment, actually, you saved me. After the call, my head was filled with happy memories, and I was able to sleep for a few hours.'

Peter was speechless for a few moments. Then, he asked: 'Does it happen often, you being unable to breathe?'

Robin shook his head. 'There was a trigger. It doesn't happen often. I also have pills for when I get panic attacks, but since I held it in for too long I was unable to reach them.'

'You should take care too.' Peter said, placing his hand on top of Robin's and catching his gaze. 'I don't like seeing you hurt either.'

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'Next week wednesday, at 3PM.' Peter said when Robin came in later that day.

'Oh, you called her already?' Robin sat down. He held a glass of water and a painkiller. 'Your headache is getting better, isn't it?'

'Hm.' Peter took the painkiller and swallowed it with water. 'It's still there, but not unbearable anymore.'

His parents would be staying until tonight, taking some of Robin's workload. His mom still came barging in every now and then for small conversations, sometimes taking the kids, and so did Robin, so he didn't feel alone. He was also in a particularly good mood today, not much on his mind. It had been a while since he last felt so peaceful.

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I think I just have a thing for these transparant relationships UwU

Still wondering what happened to the Thanxx MV